Christmas recap - part 2

The other important thing about Christmas, of course, is about family.  This year, we were privileged to be visited by Beulah Mae Barefoot Wallace, who we call the "mother hen" of the entire Barefoot name, not only in our home state of North Carolina but as far away as South Carolina and Alabama as well.

Beulah Mae was born in March of 1865, as the American Civil War was ending.  Her father was Bright Barefoot, Popeye's great-great-great-great-grandfather, who had fought in the American Civil War for the Confederacy.  Her mother was Sarah Hinson Barefoot, who like the other Confederate wives, was a tireless defender of the house.

Sarah died from complications of giving birth to Beulah Mae, and Bright died of alcoholic poisoning when she was only five, orphaning her.  She was passed along several families until she ran away at age 13 and started taking care of herself.  When she was 16, Beulah Mae married Andrew Wallace.  Andrew became rich from owning a textile mill when it became the biggest economy in North Carolina; Beulah Mae stayed at home and hoped to raise a family.  However, Andrew died suddenly in 1892, probably as part of a cholera epidemic, and the couple left no children.  She then returned alone to Johnston County, site of her family roots, and opened Wallace House, dedicated to caring for children who were very injured or ill, abused, or orphaned.  Beulah Mae died in 1946, but some of her children kept the Wallace House open.  In 1953, a suspicious fire gutted the building.  It remained abandoned until 1990, when the state of North Carolina put a prison on the site in an era when prison-building was in vogue (due to higher incarceration rates and profit motivations).  After the Great Tribulation, Beulah Mae was revived, bought back the land, and rebuilt the house.  Even better, she brought back all her old clients to live with her again. 

Beulah Mae came to us for Christmas, and her very presence brought tears to our eyes.  She thanked the entire family for supporting her, then preceded to tell family stories from her place in history and marveled at how the world looked in the modern era.  I then came on the stage and sang "The Ballad of Beulah Mae," a hit country song I wrote about her life and the Wallace House, and Beulah cried and mumbled "thank you" several times.  We cheered loudly as she left the house ("I've got a lot of kids to take care of," she said simply). (Avatar: Katie Johnson, older woman whose picture I saw on Facebook; once played FarmVille along with her until it got too expensive for me to continue)

Also on this Christmas, Popeye welcomed his eight brothers and sisters, and their children and grandchildren, to his part of the farm compound.  Among them, ironically, was Brittany Barefoot, one of Nokelee's grandchildren.  (I say ironically because I could have easily had two immediate relatives with that name: Bunky, whose parents wanted to name her Brittany until the ultrasound reading proved that the baby would be a boy; and Brittany L. Spears, who is married to me but kept the Spears last name for professional reasons.)  This resulted in over 30 guests from that part of the clan alone, more than double the number that usually are in the houses.

Christmas recap - part 1

So Christmas is wrapped up, and there's a lot to report, so much that I need two parts.  Here, I recap church services and gift-giving.

As promised, Biddy came down with our gifts:

• All of the older males received dress shirts, bowties, and beanies; and all the older females received new dresses and bonnets.
• Brenda received several clown dolls, as, unlike some other people I've heard of, she loves clowns.
• Popeye was summoned to the pond, where he marveled over his gift: a lifesized replica of the U.S.S. Intrepid, the same one on display at the Intrepid Sea-Air-Space museum in New York City.
• Brandy received new ballroom clothes, Hambone a hunting rifle and bow-and-arrow set, and Bunky a set of musical instruments to create the one-man band he has dreamed of (drums, keyboard, and harmonica).
• Annie and Jennifer got new quilts from the Ella Mae Bowling collection in honor of the Nativity.
• Ralph got a full-scale building set of the New Jerusalem, so that its wonders can be with him - and the family - at all times.  
• Harvey's gift was equipment, including shovels, picks, and a sluice box, that will help him mine for gold and jewels.
• Belinda's gift was a full-scale world map with the new countries created after Jesus' return, while Bryson got a full cowboy suit and a pony.
• Jennifer accepted perfume- and soap-making equipment for the bath, and Bobby Ray got new books to read to Belinda and Bryson.
• And me? I received a model car, representing the new car that NASCAR will use in the Sprint Cup Series.  It's so new, in fact, that no one has raced with yet, and indeed it won't be used until the shootout exhibition race at Daytona in 2013.  (Thanks to Photoshop, I was able to put together Jimmie Johnson's car body, the color and number from the late Dale Earnhardt, and a local "family-owned" sponsor. - D.H.)

 Before that, Ralph gave the church services for all 13 of us, as well as other relatives who do not live with us in the main house.  (More on who they are in the next post.)  Ralph reminded us of what the birth of Jesus Christ meant in the big picture of world history - for example, the notations of B.C. and A.D. in dates mean, respectively, "before Christ" and "anno domini" ("Year of Our Lord").  And he also encouraged us to continue to seek the guidance of Jesus daily, even as we praise Him for the blessings He has given us.

When I come back, I'll tell you about a very special guest that came by later in the day.  I have heard all about her, even wrote a hit song about her, but I had never met her.  Until now.

Pictures from last week

I already told you about my Photoshop instructor Brady Poirier.  Here he is in the first picture.  Doesn't he look like Howie Mandel to you? ???





Next to that is a class photo taken by fellow student Zelena Cartagena last week.  I am second from the left.




Finally, here's the tallest Christmas tree I have ever seen.  It's at Nokia Plaza in downtown Los Angeles.  It was taken after the Los Angeles Clippers' 97-85 win over the Sacramento Kings on Friday night, which I attended in person.

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" - Clement C. Moore

Want to see the new family photo?

Today, as promised, I completed the "official" family photograph.  It shows all 13 of them outside what would be their beautiful country home, and the picture and captions say it all.  (If only I could remove that unsightly glow from Bryson!  That's what you get when you grab a picture from television.)

UPDATE 3/9/2013: By changing the source of the arms placed on the Photoshop work from "Moonshiner" Tim Smith to Bailey Miller of Greenwood, SC, their arms now look more realistic and the revisions make the photo better!  Hope you really enjoy it now! 

Upcoming: a themed reality game show

As those who have been reading this know, reality competitions - who someone pejoratively called "game operas," a title I have picked up on - is a favorite thing of mine to follow.  For the last three years, I have posted summaries of such programs to the506 (registration required to view), and I have found feedback and support from some other users who are also fans.  I even made up one, Sing for the World, in a previous post.

Now, I want to get to the next level, with posts following an entire season of a "game opera."  The "press release" announcing the show is below. - D.H.

On January 1, 2013, Barefoot Media Network will debut BMN Superfan, its first reality competition series.   This season will feature 13 of the greatest fans of the Barefoot family, as featured on Buddy Wayne: Coming Home and other network shows, in various weekly contests for the most unique grand prize ever awarded - access to the Barefoot family for one week!

The winner will live exactly as they do, from making homemade food and clothing to attending church services and even participating in entertainment and events.

In addition, the winner will get $50,000 cash and a 2013 Chevrolet SS Supersport, and the show will donate $10,000 to each of five different charities.

Host: Shandi Finnessey (Miss USA 2004)
Judges:

• *Brandon McLamb (Buddy Wayne Barefoot's publicist)
• Matt Rogers (finalist on American Idol season 3, host of various TV shows)
• Various guest judges

Contestants:

• Barbie (Kelly Kelly) Blank, 26, Jacksonville, FL - WWE "diva," former world women's champion
• Brendon Bump, 23, Lawrence, KS - Seminary student, son of Methodist preacher
• *Mikel De Vries, 27, Los Angeles - Male model, aspiring actor, originally from Cape Town, South Africa
• Anna (Lil' Bit) Granthum, 31, Marbury, AL - Owns Mountain Creek Mud Bog, which was featured in 2011 TV special Mud Lovin' Rednecks
• *Lindsay Hall, 34, Fort Sill, OK - Army medic, would like to become a midwife
• *Josh LoMonico, 36, Pittsburgh, PA - Fitness instructor, volunteer firefighter
• Ivey McClelland, 50, Albuquerque, NM - Part-time jazz musician
• Frankie Meadows, 40, Charleston, SC - Auto mechanic, fan of NASCAR and minor-league hockey
• Dustin Plunkett, 35, Bellflower, CA - Special Olympics athlete renowned for his athletic accomplishments and community service
• Jeff Porter, 46, Alpharetta, GA - Athletic trainer, Atlanta Braves baseball team
• Brittany Ramos, 33, Boca Raton, FL - Extreme couponer, stay-at-home mom, former teacher
• *Jake Stubblebine, 32, New York City - Graduate student, hobby farmer, nephew of Reuters photographer
• *Megan Turnipseed, 20, Brandon, MS - College student, cheerleader (Millsaps College)

*Characters made up by me

BMN Superfan will premiere with a special two-hour episode at 9 p.m. ET.  Thereafter, it will appear every Tuesday at 10 p.m.

Author's thoughts about Newtown

As much as I would love to keep this site free of any mention of current events, the creator of this fiction does not live in a vacuum.  Characters are based on, and have similarities to, real people and events.  So it is that I point out the connections between the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT, on Friday and the world I chose to make:

• Some of the 20 children who were killed were roughly the same age as Belinda (9 years old) and Bryson (7).
• Brenda has an emotional disability, as reportedly did the killer at Sandy Hook, Adam Lanza (and unfortunately too many other accused mass gun murderers through the years).  In addition, before Brenda made it into eternity, she loved to collect obituaries and tried to send personal messages to the survivors' families.  (I got that trait from one of my Facebook friends, Deb Holmes.)
• The Bowlings, who recently became friends with Buddy Wayne Barefoot, consist of 26 family members - the same number as the number of victims in Newtown.

Here's what I wrote about it for an online forum the day it occurred:
It's funny (as in ironic funny not ha-ha funny) that I was right here this morning when Moo made the first post about this event here.  I then left for ABC Adult School.  The class was just getting started (9:50 a.m. Pacific time) at almost the exact moment that police gave the death toll.  Needless to say, I struggled emotionally through the rest of the day at school.

It was during a long break from classes that I felt I needed to be at a place with a TV set.  There, I saw President Obama's emotional comments and the start of the briefing with Dannel Malloy, Connecticut's governor.

I'm with the president.  Enough is enough.  But what to do?  Thoughts and prayers are obviously great, but it's time to move beyond that.

Somehow, some way, the power of the NRA must be broken.  It is its policies that have helped to keep the gun count - and the death rates by gun - much higher in the U.S. that in any other industrialized nation.

But again, how?  Do we have a March on Washington?  An Occupy movement?  Buy ad time during the Super Bowl?  Any better ideas?

For now, and as always, (three emoticons of crying)

Fortunately, many charities have come through to help those affected, and here's a list.

Having a Barefoot Christmas (part 2)

As promised, here are more of the family's holiday traditions.

Here, even gift-giving is different.  Whereas you may attribute your presents to Santa Claus, we credit what we get to Mary Elizabeth McBiddlewhiskers, a/k/a "Biddy," the same angel that delivered us to our ideal home.  Every year, she conducts the "Biddy drop," in which an item we want for whatever reason just comes down from the sky.  It could be something we miss from our old lives or a brand-new item that we're inspired to get.  The items we want are written down, sent in the mail, and then we see if she responds on Christmas Eve.

On the day after Christmas, we commemorate Boxing Day.  It's a popular holiday in the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and other countries of the British Commonwealth, but is rarely celebrated in the U.S. and certainly not as a legal holiday.  The holiday began as a way to help the poor and servants through the distribution of "Christmas boxes" filled with money and gifts.  Our idea to celebrate it came from Belinda, who got it from her teacher Shirley Mae Crabtree, who in turn read about it in one of Magdalena Babblejack's books.  On Dec. 26, Belinda and Bryson get extra gifts (in place of the poor) and we also name one "worker of the year" to get the servant's gift.  This year, Harvey is honored for especially hard work.

Finally, even though we have chosen to unhook ourselves from modern life most of the time, we do have some concessions to the fast-paced and highly evolved times in which some of us grew up.  Throughout December, we watch classic movies and TV shows on hand-cranked devices.  Our favorite films are It's A Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story, while our top TV shows are A Charlie Brown Christmas and The Year Without a Santa Claus.  In fact, we love ...Life, the 1946 classic film, so much that we have organized a live stage show based on selected scenes.  I play George Bailey, Ralph is Bill Bailey, Bobby plays Edmund Potter, Popeye is Clarence the guardian angel, Hambone is George Bailey's wife, and of course Belinda and Bryson are the Bailey kids.  We perform it twice, the day after Thanksgiving (the retail "Black Friday") and again on Christmas Eve.

Some more things about Idealia

Last September, I reintroduced my world of Idealia by naming the families who live there.  But as I looked through some other posts to add details to Barefoot family life, I realized that there were a few more things I failed to mention about it.  So here are those details:

Weather and climate
It's pretty much the same as the American South - relatively mild in the winter, pretty hot and muggy in the summer, pleasant in the spring and fall.  Some families (e.g. Spears, Bowling) live in Appalachian microclimates which allow for more seasonal variation, including snow in the wintertime.  There are still plenty of thunderstorms, but damaging hurricanes and tornadoes are a thing of the past.:)

Business and trade
An informal system of trading and giveaways replaces the organized business climate we are so used to.  There are no big corporations, really wealthy people, or unemployment.  People with things they want to share with other families simply move around from place to place to try to drum up interest in their items.  It is true: word of mouth is the best way to advertise.  However, "snail mail" is OK too.

The "booger"
Idealia - as well as the rest of the larger New Confederacy - has adopted the "booger," a mythical creature with the head of a panther and the body of a coyote - as its national symbol.  One of the most popular oral legends in Idealia recounts the story of the Boogers football team, which traveled to the World Gridiron Championship to try to bring the title back home.  (Much like the very successful Southeastern Conference in real life!)

Use of old Confederate symbols
Since it's part of the New CSA, the controversial cross of St. George flag - first used in battle during the American Civil War but not by the actual Confederate government - has become the new national flag.  (The association as a racist symbol dates back to its use by South Carolina governor Fritz Hollings in 1960 as he defied Brown v. Board of Education and would not integrate the state's schools.)  Also, "Dixie," originally written by a minstrel artist based in New York City, is now the "national anthem."  Some surprising groups  have adapted the symbols - blacks and mountain people (the latter opposed the Confederacy so much that many of those who lived in Virginia broke off from the state and created West Virginia).

Having a Barefoot Christmas (part 1)

Merry Christmas!  Our decorations have been completed and we are ready to celebrate another holiday.

Within our family celebrations, we are trying to keep a balance between the religious and secular parts of the holiday.  On one hand, Jesus Christ is indeed the "reason for the season," as this is after all about celebrating the occasion of his birth and his unlikely origins in the stable in Bethlehem.   On the other hand, there are gifts to give, songs to sing, and fun to be had.

Here's some of what we do:

• We set up a Nativity scene, based on the exact setting of Jesus' birth.  The children have one of their own made of dolls.  In addition, the Jesus and Christmas stories are told in plays at Mrs. Crabtree's schoolhouse which Belinda and Bryson attend.
• We set aside one night a year for a caroling pageant that harks back to the Victorian era in England, where much of what we associate with Christmas celebrations began.  The Barefoot Boys will be joined by Jennifer and Brandy to carol with the McLambs, and in turn the McLambs visit us, specifically Shayla, Shawnelle, Rebecca and Rachel.  (For some reason, only the ladies of that house have the good singing chops.)
• The families also come together on Christmas Day, where about 50 people (all current residents of both families and some distant relatives of both) attend a massive church service.  Ralph Barefoot and Jerald McLamb are co-pastors, with us hosting in even-numbered years and them in odd-numbered years.  Christmas is one of only three times all year that the families participate in common activities; the others are at Easter and the annual summer block party.
• In mid-December, we have a parade of little boats on the pond of our property.  The idea came from a similar parade I once saw in Myrtle Beach, SC - ironically at Barefoot Landing.  (The name of the mixed-use development comes from the carefree attitude of beachgoers, not our own family name.)

Next week, I will have more Christmas traditions and events in our family, including how we get our gifts, a live stage show you may not be thinking of, as well as what we eat for the holiday dinner and what we do the day after "Xmas."  (Hint: We won't be going to the stores.)

(What you see at right is a picture from the boat parade in Huntington Harbour, CA, about 10 miles from my house.  No, I haven't been there. - D.H.)

Some personal news and notes

Once again, I didn't spend much time thinking about what to write for this column, as school and other commitments got in the way again.  However, there are a few things I want to bring up:

• Shortly after I finished the milkmaid photo (two weeks ago today), I began work on a "family photo" which will feature all 13 family members outside their beautiful country home.  Of course, I am doing this during Photoshop class at ABC Adult School, which I thoroughly enjoy.  I wish I could do Photoshop at home, but the program is too expensive for my budget ($300 even at a student discount) and I don't know if my computer has enough memory for the complex program.
• Here's something B.W. would be proud of: Drew Herring, a real driver who shares a hometown with the made-up three-time champion in NASCAR's top series, has a title of his own - sort of.  He was one of six drivers of the #18 team in the Nationwide Series, which won the owners' points championship and was honored recently at a banquet in Miami Beach.  (This is separate from the drivers' title won by Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.)  The 25-year-old Herring started once in the NNS this year, finishing and starting fourth at Kentucky Speedway in September.  For the record, the other five drivers were Joey Logano, Denny Hamlin, Michael McDowell, Mark Martin, and Ryan Truex.
• Real-life Barefoots did pretty well in the recent Best of Harnett County awards presented by the Daily Record newspaper.  Shelby, a department store salesperson, won for Best Clerk.  Daniel, Dina, and Ashley are all members of the Dunn Police Department (Best Police Force), while Josh is part of Dunn Emergency Services (Best Fire Department and Best Rescue Squad).  Finally, Barefoot's Auto Mart, owned by Shelton, won for Best Used Cars for the 25th straight year (wow!).  There was also one third-place finish, by Jason for Best Plumber.

What if their lives were TV shows?

Just because the Barefoot family doesn't have electricity or running water wouldn't necessarily mean that their lives couldn't make for great television.  After all, the real-life Duggars of Tontitown, AR don't watch TV, yet they've allowed TLC to film their lives for years, and they are the stars of one of the network's most popular shows!

So what if their lives were indeed TV shows?  Well, one can begin with Buddy Wayne: Coming Home, a documentary series about how my title character is adjusting to his life without privilege, and how his family and friends are helping him along the way.

Of course, inevitable success would lead to at least one spin-off.  In fact, what is to say that B.W. makes a whole network out of it, as Oprah Winfrey and "televangelist" Jimmy Swaggart have done? In fact, I have conceived of an entire TV channel called Barefoot Media Network (BMN).  Here are the program descriptions:

Annie’s Book Club
In the absence of TV, a common form of entertainment is to listen as people read from popular books and newspaper articles.  Gillie Ann Barefoot does just that on this series.
At Home With Brenda
Brenda Barefoot, the family’s leading housewife, shares recipes, crafts, and household chores.  She will have occasional guests from which she can learn to do her jobs better.
Belinda’s Doll House
Belinda Barefoot, adorable and bright, uses her extensive doll collection to tell traditional children’s stories and invent new ones.
Bluegrass Barn Dance
In the tradition of the Grand Ole Opry and the Carter Family Fold, the Spears Family Band hosts this concert and weekly dance from their homestead, in a beautiful area resembling the Appalachia that has been sadly lost due to industrialization.  (Brittany L. Spears is B.W.’s former wife.)
BMN: Best of the Week
Missed any of the exciting programs Barefoot Media Network TV carries?  Watch (or record) this two-hour block on weekend mornings.
Boys’ Night Out
The six oldest males (B.W., Bobby, Popeye, Ralph, Harvey, and Bunky) play games, tell stories, and have fun after a hard day’s work at the farm.
Buddy Wayne: Coming Home
This is the flagship show of the network.  It is the weekly story of Buddy Wayne Barefoot, the only person ever to win both a major sports championship and a major entertainment award.  But one day, he is swept away to a new world, one without electricity, running water, or other modern features.  Under the circumstances, he leans on his family and friends to help see him through his new life - and learns values that last forever.
Bunky’s Talent Roundup
Britton Lee “Bunky” Barefoot, the family’s irrepressible teenager, invites the entire family to show their entertainment side.  See B.W.’s best-selling guitar solos, Annie’s piano prowess, the Barefoot Boys’ Southern gospel, Bunky’s drumming and comedy, Hambone’s making music with her body, and more.
Classic TV blocks
These shows are of special interest to the Barefoot family.  The older members grew up on them, and the younger ones yearned to see them.

• Weekdays features The Andy Griffith Show, The Beverly Hillbillies, Little House on the Prairie, and Matlock.
• On weekends, the Western classics The Big Valley and Bonanza are seen back-to-back.

Do Anything with Harvey
Harvey Barefoot shows how to make a wide variety of projects, from woodcarvings and dolls to mule’s shoes and copper pots.
Family Church Services/Church Sing-a-Long
The Rev. Ralph Barefoot is pastor during three weekly services.  Sunday at 11 a.m. is the traditional observance.  The Sunday night service is a sing-along similar to those common in rural churches years ago, based on the shape-note concept.  Wednesday is largely a Bible study session.
Family Game Night
Board games and trivia mark Friday nights at the Barefoot farm house.
Gettin’ Out with Ralph
Ralph Barefoot, who is the family’s master at hunting, fishing, and outdoor life, shares his unique adventures from the “back 40.”
Girls’ Night Out
The five oldest females (Brenda, Jennifer, Annie, Hambone, and Brandy) participate in quilting bees, make homemade crafts, sing, and tell stories.
In the Treehouse with Bryson
The other children’s show stars the youngest resident, Bryson.  By using play and interaction with B.W., Belinda, and his school friends, Bryson learns all about the life he never lived before and does so in an amusing way.
Popeye’s Memory Lane
Alonzo Barefoot tells old family and community stories from some two centuries of Barefoot clan life in North Carolina.
Religious blocks
These programs represent the moral compass that has guided the Barefoots’ lives for decades.

• Weekday mornings feature old programs from J. Vernon McGee and Joyce Meyer, rerun episodes of Life Today and feature segments from The 700 Club, and highlights of crusades from Billy Graham and Jimmy Swaggart.
• On weekend mornings, Rev. Lyman Bowling, the official leader of the new Confederacy, gives services broadcast from the Virginia hills.  This is followed by the “Sunday school” block: Bible Bowl, Davey & Goliath, The Flying House, and Superbook.

Shootin’ the Breeze
Every Monday night, all 11 residents aged 15 and older come together at a communal table to eat and talk.  Everyone is expected to speak their mind freely about all things past, present, and future, both within their family and the outside world.
Various programs
Once a week, BMN presents related programs from other families (McLambs, Ribbles, Bowlings, etc.), holiday shows (Easter, Christmas, etc.), or other one-time specials.  (The Bowlings are in this post.  I wrote about the Ribbles in Chapter 4 of my book.  Billy Bob Ribble [formerly Bryant] is a legendary football player and bull rider, while his wife Krista is a barrel racer.  Billy Bob saved Krista from drowning when both were young.)

B.W.'s big holiday reunion

I am writing you from the Spears house in a beautiful hillside setting, where I am wrapping up a very special holiday visit.

This trip was the first time that I saw my beloved wife, Brittany Lynnette Spears, since we were separated in the aftermath of the Glorious Appearance.  At the time we were set apart, I had the proverbial mixed emotions.  On other hand, Brittany was (and still is) the love of my life, the woman I had always dreamed of - and did everything in my power to make sure I married her.  On the other hand, she has always been part of a family that has been together not only personally but professionally, and as sad as she is not to see me every day, I trust that she has been just as happy seeing them every day.  And both of us knew that some day we would meet again.  This Thanksgiving, it has finally happened.

First of all, I must say that my original marriage to Shayla McLamb is, without question, the most regrettable mistake of my life.  It was a good idea at the time: both families have lived in adjoining tracts of land in North Carolina since at least the 1820s, and some of us from both clans have married over the years.  The symbolism of our marriage was magnified by my fame as a NASCAR champion and award-winning recording artist, and her own singing career which was just getting started.

However, a few years later, a competition show called Sing for the World began.  Backstage, during the first live show at CBS Television City in Los Angeles, I met Brittany for the first time.  She was everything I wanted a woman to be: beautiful round face, bubbly personality, humble and sweet girl next door, lover of God and family.  Oh, and I felt for her, as she was picked on for nearly having the same name as Britney Spears, the global pop star.  (But with all due respect, Brittany is a much better singer.) 

At that point, I realized that I should have waited for her, rather than enter into marriage with Shayla as quickly as I did.  The divorce was a long, drawn-out process, left Shayla understandably bitter, and left me on the outs with everyone in the McLamb family except Brandon.  (For more on this subject, see chapter 9 of the book. - D.H.) 

Nevertheless, I carried on the relationship.  On finale night of that show, I thought it was time to propose.  She had just turned 18, and I thought for sure it would be a long shot to have her accept.  But in a true moment of surprise, she accepted.  However, as a consequence of blowing about $300,000 on my first marriage, leaving me nothing for another proper ceremony, I ended up marrying Brittany in the middle of their barn in front of only a few people.

When I opened the door to the Spears' battered but serviceable farm house, it was as if we had never parted.  The embrace we had was long and warm, and both of us were crying.  It was the joy that only two intimately related people could share.

Brittany looked somewhat younger than when I met her, as her age was reset to 17 - exactly how old she was when she first appeared on live TV.  She had really been 19 when I married her and 20 when we had our daughter, Blanton Elizabeth, who we also call "Lizzie."  On the other hand, Lizzie was just the adorable little infant she was when I last saw her!  "She's like a living doll, and I look forward to taking care of her every day," Brittany told me.  "The only problem is that I don't get the sleep I would like.  I have to nap a few times a day to make up for it." (Avatar: Infant son of Lindsay Barefoot, name not disclosed)

I also learned some exciting news on this trip: The Spears family band now has four generations of performers in its official lineup!  Breckinridge Spears, the founder of the group known affectionally as "Grandpa Breck," has picked up his mandolin once again.  He had retired from the group full time some years ago, but had continued to perform occasionally until his first life ended.  Also in the band are his sons, Burton and Bartley, both on the washboard; Burton's sons Blanton Sr. (fiddler) and Belcher (banjo), and Blanton Sr.'s children Blanton Jr. (fiddler), Bunch (mandolin), Brashears (string guitar), and Bailey (harmonica).  "Grandpa Breck" and Bunch are occasional vocalists, but of course Brittany handles most of that.  Of course, Lizzie is too young to join them, but loves to dance to the music!

Our Thanksgiving night was memorable.  After a brief prayer service, we had not only the usual food of turkey, ham, stuffing, and cranberry juice, but also meat from deer, raccoon, squirrel, and other wildlife in the mountain area where they live.  Then it was on to the stage built right into their home for a night of singing, playing instruments, and dancing.  We ended the night with our duet, "When the Bough Breaks."  That song was number-one on the American pop and country charts when it was released on my first album after I won the competition.  (On a trivia note, this made Brittany and Britney the first homophone singers to have #1 songs in the U.S.)

It was a great time and no doubt I will see Brittany again soon.  God bless, and happy Thanksgiving to you all.

This may 'blow' up in Bunky's face

Oops!  It seems that Bunky Barefoot, Buddy Wayne's first cousin and proud prankster, has "hijacked" this blog and is now posting this story, which he insists is true, about a "dirty girl" and her billboard in one of Bunky's favorite cities.  Once the rest of his devout Baptist family sees this, look out! - D.H.


LAS VEGAS - "BLOW ME."

A lovestruck recent high-school graduate has bought space on a 80-foot-high billboard in the middle of the Strip with a clear message that has everyone talking.

Alecia Amy Moore convinced her parents to spend $10,000 on the billboard to commemorate her 18th birthday and it now can be seen outside the Fashion Show Mall across from the Wynn/Encore resort complex.  She did it, she says, to have fun with her name and with her namesake's number one song.  She even went so far as to suit up in a lacy pink dress with a pink cap worn backwards, as the other Moore is known throughout the world as P!nk.

Of course, not everyone is amused.  Not only are there the protests from religious leaders and conservatives in the public eye, but of course P!nk herself is unhappy.  In a statement, she wrote, "'Blow Me (One Last Kiss)' is clearly an angry breakup song in response to an abusive man.  For someone else to twist the message in this perverse way is an outrage."  Harvey Levin of TMZ, himself a former lawyer, replied, "A cease-and-desist order is all but certain here."

Alecia says her parents, after being enraged early on, have finally accepted it.  "I've gotten maybe 1,000 people reach me by phone, tweet, Facebook since this has come up," she told the Las Vegas Review-Journal.  However, she's not looking to join the ranks of local call girls who often pass out small cards to tourists on the Strip.  "I want serious inquiries only!"

The author's return to school and a new picture

I have now spent two full weeks in my return to ABC Adult School, at which I am taking two classes.  One of them is something called ethical hacking.  In this class, which I am taking in the afternoon, we are learning how hackers illegally break into computer systems.  These tricks are now being used by individuals and companies to help them improve their own security systems.  Our instructor, Bob Takhar, even allows us to do this at home, with the caveat that neither he nor the school will be responsible for any illegal activity that develops.

The other is a Photoshop class I have in the morning.  It is taught by Brady Poirier, who is the hands-down winner of the Howie Mandel lookalike contest at our school!  One of the results of the class is the picture you see here, in which Hambone (Alyssa Barefoot) and Brandy (Amanda Barefoot) are seen milking cows.  I will have more such illustrations ahead, including a "family photo."





As it stands now, Buddy Wayne will have the week off, although I could change that in the next few hours.  If he doesn't resurface, it will be because B.W. is packing to go to the Spears house in the hollows of Idealia.  That's where he'll spend Thanksgiving with his beloved former wife, Brittany Lynnette Spears, or the homophone who has real musical talent.:)

Bonus post: A real Barefoot family

Although B.W. and his family are symbolic of the Barefoot family in North Carolina, they're by no means alone.  There are some Barefoots in other Southern states like Virginia, South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi, and Texas, and I've encountered quite a few that live in Canada and England as well.

But the second-highest number of Barefoots in the United States live in Pennsylvania.  These namesakes are descended from the Barfuss family in Germany and have lived in and around Pittsburgh for at least the last 125 years.  There is no direct relationship between the families.

This blog, coincidentally at the same address as this blog, follows the genealogy of these real people.  It includes links to newsletters of their annual reunions, which take place every August.

See also this list of real-life Barefoots of some fame.

Honoring our American veterans

Because of the busy schedule I have had this week, with my return to ABC Adult School for two classes five days a week and an appointment to get a haircut, I haven't given any thought as to what to write for my weekly blog entry.  But this morning, as I ducked into a nearby restaurant during an extended break in classes, I saw ESPN list its employees who had served in the United States military prior to working there.  So that was the spark: Why not make up a similar list of Idealia residents who did the same?

On this Veterans Day weekend, here's a "salute" to all 28 residents who served in the U.S. military during their previous lives.  Thank you for all you've done, and you have deserved your eternal peace.

And I would be remiss in not mentioning my own father, who served in the Marines during the Vietnam War.

Kyle Baldridge - Air Force
Ralph Barefoot - Marines
Blackman Bibb, Jr. - Army
Bunkley Blanks - Air Force
James Boatwright - Coast Guard
Michael Bobo - Marines
Smelley Ray Bobo - Navy
Mary-Taylor Boozer - Army
Adam Bowling - Army
Dwayne Brayboy - Marines
Cody Joe Brookshire - Navy
Danny Bull - Coast Guard
Tyler Butt - Marines
Paul Buzzard - Air Force
Jeremiah Crabtree - Army
Aaron Dingleberry - Marines
Dennis LaBarbour - Army
Laura Laughinghouse - Air Force
Bizzell Littlebridge - Navy
Tommy McBunch - Air Force
LeBuddy McClammy - Army
David McRunnel - Army
Nathaniel Pancake - Navy
Jason Peacock - Army
Patrick Rabbitt - Air Force
David Rapp - Air Force
Rhubarb Spikes - Army
O'Neale Timberlake - Marines

My trip to the leadership conference

This is usually not a tale I would tell this early in the retelling of the B.W. story.  However, with the  U.S. presidential election coming up this coming week, it is the right time for it. - D.H.

This past week, I attended my first leadership conference.  All 67 of the Idealian families have sent their designated heads of household to the sprawling Bowling estate - home of the land's largest family - to share news about our families and improvements as to how to make our lives better.

We began with a welcome speech from Lyman Bowling, lord of the house and the president of Idealia.  (As with all other leadership positions in Heaven, he was appointed by Jesus Christ rather than elected.)  You think I have it tough keeping track of a house with a total of 13 people living there?  Lyman Bowling is the patriarch of a 26-person dwelling, with four different generations under one roof.  The plantation is in a beautiful hillside area, remade into a garden spot after years of degradation that was the result of strip-mining for coal.  The coal was revived into fertilizer for the growth of crops and wildflowers. (Avatar: Bill Bump, Methodist pastor in Kansas)

The family also has some other colorful characters, including Lyman's niece Ella Mae.  She is one of the warmest women I've ever met and I just wish I could take her back to meet Brenda.  Their shared sense of humor and love of domestic arts would make them instant friends.  As it is, Brenda has a copy of her books Ella Mae's 100 Best Quilt Ideas and Ella Mae's 100 Best Recipes.  (Avatar: Mary Beth Hicks, conservative blogger who writes about motherhood)

During our meetings, we agreed that the biggest emphasis should remain balancing the "redneck" and "good ol' boy/belle" sides of our nature.  That means that we would continue to emphasize the parts of culture we love, like country music, bass fishing, hunting, and distinctive drawls, while continuing our bans on the least-favorite parts, like alcohol, tobacco, cussing, and bare-breasted women.  We also agreed to keep flying the Confederate flag, no matter what. 

At the end of the meetings, I earned a special award, Grand Ambassador to the Confederate States of America.  The CSA is the larger political organization of which Idealia is a part, and I was one of five award winners for the whole country.

On the last day, the keynote speakers were Lulabettie and La'BooTeasha Plumpkin (popularly known as Lulu and Boo), originally from the "Black Belt" of central Alabama.  Besides having two of the prettiest personal names I've ever seen, they are activists who have made it their life's mission to preserve, and indeed improve, rural life among African-Americans.  The Plumpkins were maids who immigrated to Chicago, and some of their clients were among the wealthiest citizens of the city.  They used the large sums of money they made to buy property back home, on which they had hoped to build a farm.  But before that could happen, both were killed in a car crash. 

It took their revival at the Glorious Appearing for the Plumpkins to finally get their farm, representing the former slaves who finally got their "40 acres and a mule" as the U.S. government had promised after it beat the Confederate states in the American Civil War.  The farm and farmhouse are popular and receive hundreds of visitors a day, and they have even been invited to come to Africa as guests of local tribes who are also seeking to rebuild their traditional lifestyles. 

In the keynote speech, the mother and daughter did not hold back.  Lulu began by outlining a brief history of African-Americans, from slavery to sharecropping, leading to the "Great Migration" to the cities, and then eventually back to reclaim their old rural lands.  "This is our crystal stair," Lulu said, referring to an old black saying.  "Our legacy of struggle is complete, and now we can celebrate having our own land and fully enjoying the fruits of our labor." Boo added that "little black boys and black girls and little white boys and white girls," to quote Martin Luther King, Jr., "always had more in common than we thought.  Now, no one is there to hold us back or pit us against each other.  All of us are free!"

When the speech ended, just about everyone cried, including me.  (Avatars: Anna McWillie, social activist, Katie Washington, recent graduate with honors, University of Notre Dame)

My emotions continued to run high as the Spears Family Band took the stage at the end of the last session.  Of course, this is the band from which "Bluegrass" Brittany broke out to be a hit performer.  However, she is actually part of a larger group of musicians, dancers, and even a storyteller.  For the first time, all four generations, led by founder "Grandpa Breck" Breckinridge Spears, were on stage in a public show.  I went backstage afterward and confirmed that me, Brenda, and Bryson will visit the Spears homestead for Thanksgiving.

I decided to extend my trip by one day so I could compete against Blake Bowling, one of Lyman and Ella Mae's sons.  The competition was in - what else - bowling.  "I guess when's your name's Bowling, you've gotta be good at it," Blake said simply.  I haven't bowled in over 10 years, so Blake agreed to spot me 50 pins and I got to use bumpers so I didn't have to roll gutter balls.  Nonetheless, I still lost - by 22 pins. (Avatar: Cody Dent, member of the University of Florida baseball team.  He is the son of Bucky Dent, who hit one of the most famous home runs in New York Yankees history as the margin of victory in the 1978 American League Eastern Division tiebreaker game.  The Yanks went on to win the World Series that year.)



The trip ended with one more surprise: Ella Mae gave me two of her legendary quilts to send back to Brenda.  That is so generous of her, as she could easily sell these for hundreds of dollars - each.  I'm sure Brenda will have a wild-eyed, broad-smiled look when she sees them!

I trust that Brenda kept Bryson safe back home, and maybe Popeye also came by to visit.
***********************************************************************************
For the record, here is the entire Bowling family of Idealia: Great-grandfather Lyman and her wife Mildred; their son Lyman Jr., the younger Lyman's wife Malinda, and children Danielle, Deborah, and Michael; Michael's wife Megan and their children Brett, Brittany, Blake and Ryan; grandfather Charles, his wife Peggy Jo, and their children Ella Mae and Tammy Rae; Tammy Rae's husband Tony Sparks and their twin sons Dylan and Ethan; father Andrew, mother Loretta, their children Adam, Amy, and Abby; Adam's wife Juliette and their son Jackson.  The age range is 18 months (Jackson) to 73 years (Lyman).  Lyman Jr. and Charles are brothers, as are Michael and Andrew.

A final disclaimer: They are not related to the Bowling Family, which is a real Southern gospel group.

B.W.'s reading list

As many of you know, I love to read for pleasure.  I have spent hours at a time at local libraries, Barnes & Noble in Long Beach, and also at Borders in Cerritos before Borders closed completely in 2011.

With that in mind, and also with the lack of available electricity, it should come as no surprise that my "second family's" reading list is extensive.  Here are a few of their favorites:

*The Bible, New King James' Version - Personally, I have the New International Version, but I doubt it would exist in my classical Southern setting (remember it's around 1930).
*Babblejack's Book of World Facts, by Magdalena Babblejack - The British author takes a virtual tour of what the world will look like after the Glorious Appearance.  It includes stories of restored empires like Greece, Rome, and Songhai, newly created countries (like Centralia in America's heartland, Kurdistan in the Middle East, and Transvaal in Africa), and unified nations such as Ireland, Korea, and the Indian subcontinent.  (Oh, and best yet for these Southern "rebels," it also confirms that their Idealian home is part of the new Confederate States of America.)  Since travel itself is much more difficult than before, this is a great "mind's eye" substitute.
*Meet Little Jill Horner and Little Jill Horner Wins The Award, by Belinda Barefoot - Her first book made her the youngest author ever on the best-seller list of The New York Times.  In the books, the main character is a child star who can't handle the pressures of Hollywood, until God and her family intervene to give balance to her life.  The "award" in question in the second book is not what you think it is!  Along the way, Jill has to face down Bettina Bitterbeetle, a drug-addicted movie star on the decline, and Dylan Bryan-Brown, the richest executive in Hollywood.
*Bracegirdle and Codpiece by Laura Rottenborough - The novelist writes about a love story between Delilah Bracegirdle and Rodney Codpiece that began in the Victorian Age in England and is interrupted after Rodney's untimely death.  When they are revived in Heaven, they're reunited in Cape Town, South Africa.  From there, they must solve the mystery of their presence there so they can return home to England.   It's Annie's favorite book and inspires her own budding career.
*Deliver Me From Evil: My Escape From Prostitution by Melanie MacMelville - Before she became a pop singer (and semifinalist on Sing for the World America), MacMelville lived in Las Vegas as a call girl.  Here, she reveals the experience that ended her time as a hooker in one of the most moving books ever written.  It was also adapted into a movie.
*Ella Mae's 100 Best Quilt Ideas and Ella Mae's 100 Best Recipes by Ella Mae Bowling - Both books have indispensable information for the older women in the house.
*Real Barenaked Ladies by Matt Pinfield - The biographical story of the controversial doo-wop vocal group, whose name pokes fun at the all-male Canadian pop band of the same name.  To get past TV censors, the women, Brandy Roderick, Vicky Lynn Hogan, Tara Patrick, and Michelle Mitchell, wore body paint during their appearance on SFTWA.  (These are pictures of four other celebrities whose names I don't know offhand, with Photoshop to simulate a group pose.)  Bunky has read it over and over and over again, much to B.W.'s dismay.  The author is a New York City radio host and former MTV "veejay."

B.W. on family social activities

In this post, I will share with you what we consider to be our "boys nights out" and "girls nights out."  These social nights are essential to re-connecting the family relationships we had not had for years, if ever in some cases.

The older women - Brenda, Jennifer, Annie, Hambone, and Brandy -
all come together twice a week in quilting bees.  There, they are carrying on a tradition that is uniquely American: making something special out of just a little cloth.  After all, what's being made is not just quilts, blankets, and pillowcases - it's an expression of their lives, good and bad.  Another thing they're good at: gossip.  Plenty of it.  There's so much of it, they often forget their bedtimes.:) (Pictured is a re-creation of a colonial-era quilting bee in Michigan.)



As for us, the older men, it's more like days out.  Several times a week,
we go on hunting and fishing trips.  More than just gathering food, it's our time to tell our family stories past and present.  Oh, and since we're men, we often compete to get the biggest trophy animal, catch the biggest fish, or have the most accurate shot.  During the night, we eat, drink, and are merry, though of course tomorrow we don't die.  (Not all clichés are correct, thankfully.) (Pictured is one of my Facebook friends, Adam Brister, with a trophy buck.)





 But the big social occasions for us are on Mondays and Thursdays, when we socialize in the common room:

• Talent shows show our diverse passions, some of which I have already discussed.  As for me, I give full-length guitar concerts with all my favorite songs, like the worldwide hits "Bluebird" and "Southern Rhapsody," as well as "The Ballad of Beulah Mae," "Poor Ol' Mule," and dozens of other songs I've written over the years.  My relatives are still amazed that these are the same songs that I used to perform all over the world in front of much-larger crowds (and which sold millions of copies and won me major awards).
• Games are of all kinds, including card, dice, and board.  My personal favorite is bunco, since all you do is throw dice all day.  Popeye is the best at these games, and all of us would love to know the secret to his success.  He insists that there isn't any.
• Most of all, what we do is just "shoot the breeze," or talk to each other.  It could be about anything one can think of: our daily lives, what our kids learned in school, the catch of the day, the mail we received with the latest news, even reminiscences of our past (which we can now be completely honest about, now that the White Throne Judgment has happened, ridding us of all the "bad" people and thoughts).

Granted, it's harder for us to have to entertain ourselves, instead of relying on TV, the Internet, and other modern methods.  But we have found it more satisfying, and now we would have it no other way.

Time machine trivia answers

It's been 24 hours since I posted the answers to my time machine trivia test.  Click on this link if you missed the questions; now, here are the answers:

1. YES.  The first known pizza recipes were created in Italy around the 17th century.  The first pizzeria in U.S., Lombardi's, opened in New York City in 1910.  The popularity of the pie spread after World War II when American soldiers, sailors, and airmen fell in love for it.
2. NO.  Television was still experimental in the 1930s, commercial networks didn't launch in America until after World War II, and I Love Lucy itself didn't debut until 1951.
3. NO.  Although souped-up cars used to transport moonshine past pursuing police officers were commonly used in the 1930s - and organized races around bull rings may well have taken place in the '30s and were certainly known by 1941 - the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing was not organized until 1947.  Its "Strictly Stock" division, now the Sprint Cup Series, debuted on June 19, 1949, in Charlotte, NC.  Jim Roper was the first race winner.
4. YES.  John Loud patented the first ballpoint pen in 1888.  However, the first truly popular model, Bic, did not reach the U.S. market until 1946.
5. NO.  Milton Bradley did not introduce the game until 1966.
6. YES.  "Flappers," young, headstrong, short-haired women, were popularized in the 1920s, and all products mentioned were available at that time.
7. YES.  A&W, the most common ingredient in root beer floats, was introduced in 1919.  (And if Brenda wanted to fill those floats with something else, Coca-Cola [1886] and Pepsi [1897] were also available.)

Time machine trivia test

As I've written, the world of Idealia is based on the rural South as someone would have discovered it in the 1930s, when electricity and roads broke the isolation of the region.  In that vein, here are a few statements about everyday life in the Barefoot household.  For each, guess whether or not these could have happened, based on when the items mentioned in the statement were invented or introduced.

Think about these and I'll give the answers in the next post.

1. Lauren Pizzoli, Brandy and Bunky's mother, mails a recipe for homemade pizza to Brenda from her new home in Italy.  B.W.'s mother then begins to hunt for the ingredients to replicate it at home.
2. After dinner, Hambone puts on a red wig and acts out the "Vitameatavegamin" and candy-store skits from the hit television show I Love Lucy.  Everyone doubles over in laughter and finds it hard to go to sleep at the normal time.
3. B.W. hears about a new sport called NASCAR Strictly Stock Racing and asks the Brookshire family to send him a model dirt track and car set.
4. Popeye gets a ballpoint pen in the mail from the friendly postman, Mr. Blackshire.  He immediately dumps the quill pen because the ballpoint is more convenient for him.
5. A wild game of Twister involving the whole family is won by Harvey, who uses the flexibility he developed as a high-school wrestler.
6. B.W. allows Hambone and Brandy to use the common room to host a "flapper party," as long as sparkling cider is used instead of champagne and thin toilet paper is used instead of cigarettes.
7. As a result of a long day on the farm, Brenda decides to combine the dinner drink with dessert, introducing ice cream floats to the menu.  Of course, the kids love it!

B.W.: My day with the adorable Bryson

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my interesting relationship with Bryson.  Here's more about what a typical day with my younger brother - for whom I'm also a "father figure" - is like.

When I first saw Bryson, I frankly didn't know what to expect.  Would he be an idiot incapable of learning anything, like someone who is severely autistic?  Or would he grow up as quickly as anyone else who is seven years old?  The only way to find out is to spend time with him and live through our lives together.

The first things I noticed about him were his boundless energy and bubbly personality.  When he says something - especially his new signature catch phrase "Am I a good country boy?" - it's in a strong but beautiful voice.  I'm convinced that, if he wanted to be a singer, he would make a pretty good one!

The same energy applies in everything else he does.  When Bryson sees a school book - he attends the same Crabtree schoolhouse as his niece Belinda - he starts reading it eagerly.  He has also joined a prank group called the Rotten Rascals, with schoolmates Oliver "Poo Poo" Brayboy, Rebecca "Ladybug" Beavers, "Sweet" William Crabtree, and Bloodworth Spikes.  On the day I came, they greeted Miss Crabtree with a huge string of bubble gum they had placed in a spray bottle!  I thought the Rascals would be punished for that, but Miss Crabtree just smiled and moved on.  After all, why would she go after her own son?

Because of his age and special circumstances, he does not help that much on the farm, even during the peak season.  I will hand him some hay and animal feed so he can help feed the mules, goats, and cows, so he does learn some responsibility that way.  He spends most of his summer days on top of the treehouse Harvey built for the little kids.

Each night at about 8 o'clock, I read stories to Bryson in his bedroom.  They are all kinds of stories from all different sources, including some I have made up.  (One example of the latter, involving bears and wolves, can be found in the book in, I think, Chapter 8. - D.H.)

To sum up, Bryson has learned so quickly that no one on the outside can tell that he had to restart life from scratch.  In addition, he's the playful little brother I never had before, and as I wrote earlier, I look forward to every moment I spend with him.:)

B.W. - Best singer in the world!

I keep finding new things to report about my character as time progresses.

Earlier, I wrote about his success at winning the Grammy Awards.  Well, B.W. has also won multiple other honors in the music business, including the American Music Awards, Country Music Association Awards, and the Academy of Country Music Awards.

But his most unique honor, I would have him winning in 2009, coincidentally in the year of his 30th birthday.  (That was before the Rapture, the Second Coming, and the eventual "reset" in his age to 22.)  That year, he won Sing for the World, sort of an Olympics for recording artists.  It would also be an expanded version of the Eurovision Song Contest, which dates back to the mid-1950s.

B.W. began by auditioning with hundreds of other performers in Nashville, one of 10 audition cities.  He grabbed one of the four automatic qualifying positions and, along with eight wild card acts, came to the live shows at CBS Television City in Los Angeles.  Three rounds of competition cut the field in half each time, until six acts were reduced to two for the finale at Nokia Theater L.A. Live in downtown L.A.  In the finale, B.W. won the public vote over Blondie, not the new-wave rock band, but rather a versatile pianist who can play pop, classical, and ragtime songs equally well.  (I once had a post about Blondie but have unfortunately deleted it.  However, her "picture" - actually that of British TV personality Nadine Coyne - is on the right.)  Oh, and the national title is not all he won: it was there that he proposed to "Bluegrass" Brittany Spears, who accepted on the live televised finale.

He then competed against singers who won similar national competitions in 41 other countries on six continents, at a temporary 30,000-seat stadium at Liberty State Park in New Jersey.  B.W. got a bye into the final 20, when he performed "Bluebird" in front of a raucous, patriotic crowd.  After a process combining judges' scores and viewer votes from around the world (but not for himself from the U.S.), he was declared the champion!  Australian teenager Hayley McBroom was the runnerup, and German singer Melanie "Little Miss B" Blankenschneider was the "bronze medalist."

From that point, he embarked on a world tour for the rest of 2009 and the first half of 2010, performing over 110 concerts in 84 cities worldwide.  Here is a list of those concerts, with opening acts:

Audrey DeBoeuf (France winner), Laura diBoccabella (Italy winner), Jorge Labat (Spain winner)

• Oct. 8&9, 2009 - Paris, Palais Omnisports Paris-Bercy
• Oct. 12, 2009 - Madrid, Palacio Vistalegre
• Oct. 13, 2009 - Barcelona, Palau Sant Jordi
• Oct. 15&16, 2009 - Milan, Mediolanum Forum
• Oct. 18&19, 2009 - Rome, PalaLottomatica

Sherri Picinich (auditioned in the U.S., of Italian and Croatian heritage)

• Oct. 22, 2009 - Athens, O.A.C.A. Olympic Indoor Hall
• Oct. 24, 2009 - Istanbul, Sinan Erdem Dome
• Oct. 26, 2009 - Belgrade, Kombank Arena
• Oct. 27, 2009 - Zagreb, Arena Zagreb
• Oct. 30&31, 2009 - Vienna, Wiener Stadhalle

NOTE: Holly Harpootlian (US top 48, of Armenian descent) was originally announced for these stops, but withdrew when the tour stop in Istanbul was revealed.  She was denied a visa to enter Turkey, possibly due to a lingering political controversy over the killing of two million Armenians by Turks in the 1920s in a genocide still not recognized by the U.S. government.  The slot was next offered to Greek-American singer Ronald Lipidakis, who was a quarterfinalist in Australia, but he declined possibly for similar reasons.
Melanie Blankenschneider (Germany winner), Lauren Bendykowski (U.S. quarterfinalist of Polish heritage)

• Nov. 2, 2009 - Lausanne, BASF Place
• Nov. 4&5, 2009 - Cologne, Lanxess Arena
• Nov. 6, 2009 - Hannover, TUI Arena
• Nov. 8&9, 2009 - Hamburg, O2 World
• Nov. 11,12,13, 2009 - Berlin, O2 World
• Nov. 15, 2009 - Prague, O2 Arena

Erik Lindenberg (Sweden winner)

• Nov. 18, 2009 - Copenhagen, Parken Arena
• Nov. 20&21, 2009 - Stockholm, Ericsson Globe
• Nov. 22, 2009 - Helsinki, Hartwall Areena

Shakespeare's Piper (UK winner), Jelani Aromashodu (UK 3rd place)

• Nov. 26, 2009 - Belfast, Odyssey Arena
• Nov. 27, 2009 - Dublin, The O2 World
• Nov. 29&30, 2009 - Cardiff, Motorpoint Arena Cardiff
• Dec. 2&3, 2009 - Birmingham, LG Arena
• Dec. 4&5, 2009 - Manchester, Manchester Arena
• Dec. 7, 2009 - Glasgow, Scottish Entertainment and Conference Centre
• Dec. 8, 2009 - Newcastle, Metro Radio Arena
• Dec. 10,11,13, 2009 - London, The O2 Arena

Samantha Van Melle (Netherlands winner)

• Dec. 16, 2009 - Antwerp, Sportpaleis
• Dec. 17, 2009 - Rotterdam, Ahoy Rotterdam

Mauricio Bloemheim (Brazil winner)

• Jan. 22,23,24, 2010 - Rio de Janeiro, HSBC Arena

 Los Crazie Cats (Mexico winner)

• Jan. 15,16,18,19, 2010 - Mexico City, Palacio de los Deportes

Carly Pineda (top-48 US, native of Puerto Rico), Blondie (US 2nd place)

• Jan. 29&30, 2010 - San Juan, José Miguel Agrelot Coliseum

Blondie (US 2nd place), Blinky Blink (US 3rd place), Bird & Fly (US semifinalists)

• Mar. 5&6, 2010 - Chicago, United Center
• Mar. 8, 2010 - Saint Paul, Xcel Energy Center
• Mar. 10, 2010 - Detroit, Joe Louis Arena

McMulkin Brothers (Canada winner), Blondie

• Mar. 12, 2010 - Toronto, Air Canada Centre
• Mar. 14, 2010 - Montreal, Bell Centre

Blondie, Blinky Blink, Bird & Fly

• Mar. 16, 2010 - Boston, TD Garden
• Mar. 17, 2010 - Newark, Prudential Center
• Mar. 19&20, 2010 - New York, Madison Square Garden
• Mar. 22, 2010 - Philadelphia, Wachovia Center1
• Mar. 23, 2010 - Washington, DC, Verizon Center
• Mar. 24, 2010 - Pittsburgh, Mellon Arena2
• Mar. 26, 2010 - Cleveland, Quicken Loans Arena
• Mar. 28, 2010 - Cincinnati, US Bank Arena
• Mar. 30&31, 2010 - Nashville, Bridgestone Arena
• Apr. 2, 2010 - Raleigh, RBC Center3
• Apr. 3, 2010 - Charlotte, Time Warner Cable Arena
• Apr. 5, 2010 - Atlanta, Philips Arena
• Apr. 6, 2010 - Tampa, St. Pete Times Forum4
• Apr. 8, 2010 - Fort Lauderdale, BankAtlantic Center
• Apr. 11, 2010 - New Orleans, New Orleans Arena
• Apr. 12, 2010 - Houston, Toyota Center
• Apr. 14, 2010 - Dallas, American Airlines Center
• Apr. 15, 2010 - Kansas City, MO, Sprint Center
• Apr. 17, 2010 - Denver, Pepsi Center
• Apr. 19, 2010 - Salt Lake City, EnergySolutions Arena
• Apr. 20&21, 2010 - Las Vegas, MGM Grand Garden
• Apr. 22, 2010 - Glendale, AZ, Jobing.com Arena
• Apr. 23, 2010 - Los Angeles, Staples Center
• Apr. 24, 2010 - Anaheim, Honda Center
• Apr. 26, 2010 - San Jose, HP Pavilion at San Jose
• Apr. 27, 2010 - Oakland, Oracle Arena
• Apr. 30, 2010 - Portland, OR, Rose Garden
• May 1, 2010 - Tacoma, Tacoma Dome

Harpootlian (see above) performed one song each in Los Angeles and Anaheim in addition to the official program.
McMulkin Brothers, Blinky Blink

• May 3&4, 2010 - Vancouver, General Motors Place5
• May 6, 2010 - Calgary, Scotiabank Saddledome
• May 8, 2010 - Winnipeg, MTS Centre

Hayley McBroom (Australia winner), Ronan Rummerfield (New Zealand winner)

• Jun. 7, 2010 - Auckland, Vector Arena
• Jun. 10,11,12, 2010 - Sydney, Allphones Arena
• Jun. 14, 2010 - Brisbane, Brisbane Entertainment Centre
• Jun. 18&19, 2010 - Melbourne, Rod Laver Arena
• Jun. 21, 2010 - Adelaide, Adelaide Arena
• Jun. 23&24, 2010 - Perth, Burswood Dome

Eddie Kwok (Hong Kong winner), Ramon Mangubat (Philippines winner)

• Jun. 27&28, 2010 - Singapore, Singapore Indoor Stadium
• Jun. 30&Jul. 1, 2010 - Quezon City, Smart Araneta Coliseum
• Jul. 3&4, 2010 - Hong Kong, AsiaWorld-Arena
• Jul. 6&7, 2010 - Shanghai, Mercedes-Benz Arena
• Jul. 9, 2010 - Beijing, Beijing National Indoor Stadium
• Jul. 12, 2010 - Saitama, Saitama Super Dome
• Jul. 14,15,16, 2010 - Tokyo, Nippon Budokan
• Jul. 19&20, 2010 - Seoul, Jamsil Arena

Wilhelmina Derbyshire (South Africa winner)

• Jul. 25,26,27, 2010 - Johannesburg, StandardBank Arena
• Jul. 31, 2010 - Dubai, Plaza at Burj Khalifa
• Aug. 2, 2010 - Tel Aviv, Nokia Arena

1 Now known as Wells Fargo Arena
2 Since imploded
3 Now known as PNC Arena
4 Now known as Tampa Bay Times Forum
5 Now known as Rogers Arena

Where my character names came from

The following is the origin of the 13 names that I have applied to the Barefoot family characters.

Alfred Wayne "Buddy" Barefoot was the given name of Buddy Wayne Barefoot.  When BellSouth (now part of AT&T) put his name in a 1993 phone book, it was transposed to Buddy Wayne (and I later encountered it in a directory published by ProCD).  He died in 1998 at age 44.  According to a personal e-mail I received from Deb Holmes, who ran the website wemightbekin.com, he committed suicide.  The full obituary can be found in this PDF file.  The obituary of Randall Carrington Lee on this PDF file lists his name as "Buddy Wayne Barefoot."

This PDF file was also the source of Annie's, Ralph's, Harvey's, and Reba Pearl's names.  Annie died in 1959 at age 76, Ralph died in 2004 at age 64, Harvey at age 79 in 2006, and Reba Pearl at age 71 in 2003.

Britton Lee Barefoot came from John "Bubba" Britton, the "face" of B.W., and I came up with the middle name on my own. (Coincidentally, this is also the name of the real Ralph Barefoot's late father.)  "Bunky" is a common nickname in coastal areas from Maryland to South Carolina.  As for his sister Brandy, that was straight out of my head; as was Belinda.

Alonzo, Brenda and Bobby Ray came from the same ProCD directory at which I found B.W.'s name.  Bryson was an actor whose name I found at IMDb, unfortunately, the site has delisted it for some reason.  Jennifer (full name Jennifer Jill Barefoot) came from Jennifer Jill White, who has worked as a production assistant for MTV.

Some more odds and ends

• On Sunday night, I created a custom map using Google Maps showing where Buddy Wayne Barefoot grew up, went to school, and went to church, and even gave his first public performance.  You can find it here.
• Here's a rough order of my next three Friday "first-person" postings: following Buddy Wayne for a day with his long-lost brother, Bryson; a "girls' day out" with the older women; and B.W.'s trip to a leadership conference (the last to tie in with the upcoming presidential and other elections in the United States).

Overnight Friday/Saturday bonus post

I found two interesting things recently:

• This blog is the fourth site based on my BWB character that has been online.  The first two - hosted by Go.com and Webspawner - are sadly lost to history.  But the third one has been preserved by the Internet Archive, and here's what it looked like on one spring day in 2008.

• One of my avatars (that of Brandy Nicole Barefoot) is college student Amanda Barefoot.  When she won Miss Benson in 2010, one of her obligations was to, let's say, get intimate with the symbolic animal of Benson Mule Days.  To paraphrase Katy Perry, "I kissed a mule and I liked it!"  Here's the pictorial proof of the stunt.