Monday, September 15, 2014

NFL "survivor" league, part 3

The number of participants in my world's NFL "survivor pool" league, continues to dwindle, with just seven contestants left at the conclusion of week 2.  Here are the latest eliminations.
  • Josh LoMonico - eliminated Sep. 11 (Steelers lost, 6-26, to Ravens)
  • Bubba Brister - eliminated Sep. 14 (Titans lost, 10-26, to Cowboys)
  • Luke Muellerleile - eliminated Sep. 14 (Vikings lost, 7-30, to Patriots)
  • Brittany Ramos - eliminated Sep. 14 (Dolphins lost, 10-29, to Bills)
  • Ralph Barefoot - eliminated Sep. 14 (Lions lost, 7-24, to Panthers)
  • Lyman Bowling, Jr. - eliminated Sep. 14 (Falcons lost, 10-24, to Bengals)
  • Brian Warner - eliminated Sep. 14 (Seahawks lost, 21-30, to Chargers)
  • Beth Barefoot - eliminated Sep. 14 (Jets lost, 24-31, to Packers)
  • MacMoose brothers -eliminated Sep. 14 (49ers lost, 20-28, to Bears)
Each of the remaining contestants will have their teams face a different opponent this coming week:
  • Buddy Wayne Barefoot (Broncos - at Seahawks)
  • Bobby Ray Barefoot (Panthers - home vs. Steelers)
  • Brittany Raylene (Bengals - home vs. Titans)
  • Brandon McLamb (Bills - home vs. Chargers)
  • Billie Barefoot (Cardinals - home vs. 49ers)
  • LaBundrick Plumpkin (Texans - at Giants)
  • Deb Holmes (Eagles - home vs. Redskins)
Conceivably, this could be the last week of the pool, or it could lead to a new twist in the contest which could have some of the remaining contestants being forced into hard decisions.  Details would be posted next week, if applicable.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

NFL "survivor" league, part 2

Here are the results of the "survivor pool" featuring 32 members of the various circles of Buddy Wayne Barefoot.  Remember that the competition ends when "their" team loses, and the eventual winner goes to Super Bowl XLIX in Glendale, AZ.

Eliminations are in exact chronological order based on the time that the games officially ended.
  • Wayne VandenLangenberg - eliminated Sep. 4 (Packers lost, 16-36, to Seahawks)
  • Shandi Finnessey - eliminated Sep. 7 (Rams lost, 6-34, to Vikings)
  • Alonzo "Popeye" Barefoot - eliminated Sep. 7 (Redskins lost, 6-14, to Texans)
  • Bobbington Brandt - eliminated Sep. 7 (Raiders lost, 14-19, to Jets)
  • Harvey Barefoot - eliminated Sep. 7 (Chiefs lost, 10-26, to Titans)
  • Brooke Liptrap - eliminated Sep. 7 (Ravens lost, 15-21, to Bengals)
  • Barbie Blank - eliminated Sep. 7 (Jaguars lost, 17-34, to Eagles)
  • Dylan Bryan-Brown - eliminated Sep. 7 (Patriots lost, 23-33, to Dolphins)
  • Bunky Barefoot - eliminated Sep. 7 (Bears lost, 20-23, to Bills in overtime)
  • Rob Ritchie - eliminated Sep. 7 (Browns lost, 27-30, to Steelers)
  • Krista Bamburg - eliminated Sep. 7 (Saints lost, 34-37, to Falcons in overtime)
  • Hylton Tripp - eliminated Sep. 7 (Buccaneers lost, 6-20, to Panthers)
  • Billy Bob Ribble - eliminated Sep. 7 (Cowboys lost, 13-28, to 49ers)
  • Beanblossom twins - eliminated Sep. 7 (Colts lost, 24-31, to Broncos)
  • Melanie MacMelville - eliminated Sep. 8 (Giants lost, 14-35, to Lions)
  • Blinky Blink - eliminated Sep. 8 (Chargers lost, 17-18, to Cardinals)
  • Josh LoMonico - eliminated Sep. 11 (Steelers lost, 6-26, to Ravens)
Of this week's remaining games, only three have undefeated teams playing each other and one of them is especially intriguing: a "Barefoot Bowl" between the Lions, the team chosen by Rev. Ralph, and the Panthers, the team chosen by co-resident and nephew Bobby Ray.  Another game will see either Brittany Ramos advance with the Dolphins or Brandon McLamb with the Bills, and the other battle of unbeatens is the Falcons (chosen by Lyman Bowling, Jr.) at the Bengals (Brittany Raylene).

Nine others are possible elimination games: Bears vs. 49ers (MacMoose brothers) on Sunday night in the official debut of Levi's Stadium, Eagles (Deb Holmes) vs. Colts on Monday night, Patriots vs. Vikings (Luke Muellerleile), Cardinals (Billie Barefoot) vs. Giants; Cowboys vs. Titans (Bubba Brister), Seahawks (Brian Warner) vs. Chargers, Chiefs vs. Broncos (Buddy Wayne Barefoot), Jets (Beth Barefoot) vs. Packers, and Texans (LaBundrick Plumpkin) vs. Raiders.

The other three games have no bearing on the contest, as both contestants were ousted with losses in Week 1: Saints vs. Browns, Jaguars vs. Redskins, and Rams vs. Buccaneers.

Belated news on NFL "survivor" league

It didn't take me long to get a new idea as to how to use the characters I have made up and introduced into Buddy Wayne Barefoot's life.

Yesterday, I began formulating an idea for a 32-person "survivor pool" involving NFL teams.  For those who have not heard of the concept - and I only know it due to my involvement with the forum connected to the506 website (free membership required to view) - contestants in such a pool predict the winner of a certain game each week.  Win and continue in the game, lose and be eliminated.  It's like fantasy football, only with entire teams and with an open-ended "season."

This pool consists of B.W. himself, members of his immediate and extended family, colleagues from his musical career, staff members from his TV show, past contestants from BMN Superfan, and even a real-life namesake chiropractor.  The grand prize I would have offered is plum: four tickets to Super Bowl XLIX in Glendale, AZ, tickets to the NFL Experience and National Football League Honors, and an interview tour on Radio Row and NFL Network.

When the season began on Sep. 4, just before chaos broke out in the NFL universe, here's who got which teams (asterisks indicate real persons):
  • Arizona Cardinals - Billie Barefoot*, local chiropractor
  • Atlanta Falcons - Lyman Bowling, Jr., head of new Confederacy
  • Baltimore Ravens - Brooke Liptrap*, contestant, BMN Superfan season 2
  • Buffalo Bills - Brandon McLamb, B.W.'s publicist
  • Carolina Panthers - Bobby Ray Barefoot, former area resident who still holds season tickets
  • Chicago Bears - Bunky Barefoot
  • Cincinnati Bengals - Brittany Raylene
  • Cleveland Browns - Rob Ritchie, post-production coordinator, Gone Barefoot
  • Dallas Cowboys - Billy Bob Ribble, bull-riding legend
  • Denver Broncos - Buddy Wayne Barefoot
  • Detroit Lions - Rev. Ralph Barefoot
  • Green Bay Packers - Wayne VandenLangenberg*, contestant, BMN Superfan season 2 (and also The Biggest Loser)
  • Houston Texans - LaBundrick Plumpkin, cast member of Blacknecks and former high school football player
  • Indianapolis Colts - Laura and Heather Beanblossom, stars of "reverse porn"
  • Jacksonville Jaguars - Barbie Blank*, contestant, BMN Superfan season 1, former WWE "Kelly Kelly"
  • Kansas City Chiefs - Harvey Barefoot
  • Miami Dolphins - Brittany Ramos*, winner, BMN Superfan season 1
  • Minnesota Vikings - Luke Muellerleile*, former football player at Carleton College
  • New England Patriots - Dylan Bryan-Brown, cultural director of the New Jerusalem
  • New Orleans Saints - Krista Bamburg, barrel racer
  • New York Giants - Melanie MacMelville, singer/actress
  • New York Jets - Beth Barefoot, local baker
  • Oakland Raiders - Bobbington Brandt*, contestant, BMN Superfan season 2
  • Philadelphia Eagles - Deb Holmes*, winner, BMN Superfan season 2
  • Pittsburgh Steelers - Josh LoMonico, contestant, BMN Superfan season 1
  • San Diego Chargers - Blinky Blink, rapper/dancer/actor
  • San Francisco 49ers - Tyler and Caleb MacMoose, stars of adventure series Don't Try This on Earth
  • Seattle Seahawks - Brian Warner, director, Gone Barefoot
  • St. Louis Rams - Shandi Finnessey*, host, BMN Superfan, Miss USA 2004
  • Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Hylton Tripp, Brandy Barefoot's dance partner
  • Tennessee Titans - Bubba Brister, country/blues artist
  • Washington Redskins - Alonzo "Popeye" Barefoot
I will post the results so far next.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Where will this blog go?

I have decided to change my course of studies at ABC Adult School for the next semester.  Starting Monday, I will return to ballroom dancing and medical billing/coding classes that I took in 2011-12.  After that, in the quarter starting in November, I will take a line-dancing class for the first time.  For someone who's trying to be a country boy at heart, that class will be appropriate.  (In case you're wondering why I can't take it earlier, the beginning class is at the same time as medical billing/coding, which I am taking to reinforce my skills for a possible job opportunity I hope will happen someday.)

What does this has to do with my blog?  That means I will likely have little if any time to work on Photoshop, which has been the lifeblood of the blog for most of the past year.  So I'll have to decide the content I will use in the future.  Will it be first-person "diaries?"  Fake press releases?  Something else entirely?

In the meantime, I can report that I have updated the Gone Barefoot seasons 4&5 page to reflect the latest episodes, including the New Jerusalem world's fair performance season finale.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

More Photoshop: Billboards and "Big"

I continued to envision my world by way of Photoshop this past week.

Up first are a pair of billboards that would advertise the Barefoot Family Farm to potential tourists along Interstate 40.  Near the farm in the Meadow township in North Carolina (Johnston County) is exit 334, which eventually leads to the farm by way of these directions.  The entire family is pictured as well as an alternate slogan to the official one "The way it was before and the way it will be again."  (Try as I might, the longer slogan just wouldn't fit.)  Alongside it is the farm's logo and below that is the exit number.

I used a billboard given to me by my former teacher Brady Poirier; he used it in some projects in class.  I mentioned where the main picture came from, the logo is also from my personal file, and I added my own text.  The two pictures of the interstate (called the James Harrington Freeway in that part of the state) come from the new version of Google Maps, which gave me easy access to the ground-level views I needed.  The top photograph looks north from Godwin Lake Road, and the bottom looks south from Woods Crossroads Road.






Below that, meet Big, the star of the Ultimate Wrestling Federation.  I gave Big's story an entire chapter in The Buddy Wayne Chronicles back in 2007, but I have neglected to picture how he would look like in all those years.  The montage came together this way:

The face is that of Australian rules football star Barry Hall, and I added a bit of hair above his bald head by way of a paint job on a new layer.  The body below him depicts Leaping Lanny Poffo, the former WWE competitor who was the basis for my character. (I had a soft spot for Poffo, as despite having one of the WWE's best gimmicks of the 1980s with Frisbee throwing and poetry, he was marketed as a jobber, or someone told to lose every match.  Worse, he is the brother of one of its biggest stars, the late "Macho Man" Randy Savage - successor to the legendary Hulk Hogan as heavyweight champion - but WWE wouldn't acknowledge it until years later.  Poffo later agreed to turn from a good guy to a bad one under the nickname "Genius" and finally got pushed, much to my dismay.) 

I liked Poffo's promotional picture, but didn't like the chain-link jacket, so I substituted another one I found at a memorabilia resale site for the top.  In turn, I recolored the jacket blue to match both part of the shorts and an image from a YouTube video I have saved from a pre-match on WWE syndicated program.  I would have used a still from the original, but the video was of poor quality. 

My original idea was to place Big (real name: Lanny Ray Mobley) amid the backdrop of a wrestling ring, but with the picture cut off at the legs, that would not have been suitable, so the all-purpose brick wall will have to do yet again.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

"Dixie Rising": The family comes together

This week, I have taken a complete break from Photoshop.  For one thing, I have nothing else to try to picture in my mind at the moment.  For another, I went back to revise another personal project, one having to do with sportscasters who called mythical sporting events using all-time player rosters of pro and college teams.  As Stone Cold Steve Austin famously said, "That's all I gotta say about that!"

What I will share here, however, is the playbill for Dixie Rising.  As I have implied before, this is the entertainment and cultural show created to showcase all 13 members of my "second family."  I feel this is a natural project for them.  After all, head of household Buddy Wayne is a well-known singer, songwriter, record producer, and TV executive; he knows how to bring the best out of everyone he works with.  As with any clan, some have natural talent, while others have to develop it.  But all of them have to find a way to come together to entertain the world as part of a cultural fair organized to celebrate the grace and blessings of the Trinity of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.


Dixie Rising is the official United States entry and part of the World Christian Festival - organized by reformed business leader Dylan Bryan-Brown (see page 196 of The Buddy Wayne Chronicles for more on his previous life).  At that show, some 30 countries participate by showing off their best songs, dances, and other folk entertainments that are in accord with Christian principles.

If this show had existed, the world premiere would have been scheduled for Aug. 24 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on BMN TV as part of the two-hour season finale of Gone Barefoot.

The show begins with B.W. singing his hit song "Bluebird."  After that, he welcomes the crowd at the American Theater (modeled in part after the pictured Nokia Theater L.A. Live) and explains that Dixie Rising is a celebration of rural American life, particularly in the Southern United States.  Next will be three songs by the Barefoot Boys, Popeye, Ralph, and Harvey.  "How Great Thou Art" and "Amazing Grace" are two of the songs, and the third is a song that was performed at the first Gospel Singing Convention in Benson, NC, in 1921.

This is followed by two more B.W. songs, "The Ballad of Beulah Mae" and "Southern Rhapsody," and a song by the family friends, the McLamb Madrigals.

More narration follows, and then come the Barefoot Mommas' Club - Brenda, Brandy, Annie, and Jennifer.  Their contribution will be a reading of Proverbs 31:10-31, the last section of that book of the Bible.  Called "The Good Wife" in many Bibles, it is a tribute to the virtuous qualities of women.  Brenda will read verses 10-14, Jennifer 15-19, Brandy 20-24, Annie 25-29, and Brenda returns for the last two verses.  Meanwhile, the violinists Baylee, Brandee, and Ashlee MacKnight set the reading to music. When the reading ends, Brandy will break from the rest of the group to dance a waltz with Hylton Tripp, her professional partner and friend, with Blondie (pianist) providing the backing track. 

The action then moves to another part of the set, where Bunky plays with his drum set.  Then, he receives the wild idea to become a one-man band.  Suddenly, a parade starts with Bunky in the lead while Bryson and Belinda hold banners signaling the start of the parade.  Some family members are part of the parade, including Ralph (as outdoorsman/preacher), Brandy (beauty queen), Harvey (part of the football team, as well as Bam Bam Plumpkin, Billy Bob Ribble, and others), and Hambone (as a member of the Honey Bees).  Also in the parade are bead-thrower Amber LaBelliard, cowgirl Krista Bamburg Ribble, Cherokee folk dancer Ricky Mantooth, and military hero Brett Bartlett (though not this one), among others.

B.W. then explains that Southerners love to make everything into a big production, especially on summer nights on the porch.  With that in mind, Bobby Ray takes to the stage and starts to fiddle, and seconds later Hambone jumps on board and plays music with her body.  The huge crowd around the stage as she interprets the classic country hit song "The Devil Went Down to Georgia."  She has lots of help: Bubba Brister is the backup singer, and All That does backup dancing.  The only real-life performers in this show, the cloggers from South Carolina make up the only act to make the live rounds of America's Got Talent twice.

Dixie Rising closes with "When We Rise," a "bluntry" (blues plus country) anthem co-written by B.W. and Brittany Raylene and performed by all 11 adult family members.  It's sure to be the best-selling hit song in America this year!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

My first sale, and Hambone's a "Bee"

First of all, I must report my first sale of my new book - to myself!  It was great for me to see firsthand all the hard work I did in actual book form, thanks to the good people of Lulu.  Believe me, I'll do all I can to hustle and push this book out there to everyone.  I won't be rich off One Family Together Forever, but with my bills piling up and no new job on the horizon, I need to make some money off this.

Meanwhile, I have just expanded on a concept I explained briefly when I summarized an episode of Gone Barefoot in season 4 (January, 2014).  There, I introduced the Honey Bees in passing when I reported on a "Pink Party" spinoff with younger members of the Barefoot extended family.  The Bees began as the Barefoot family athletic program's cheerleading team and was called the Bear Paws, but this has slowly evolved into a full-time entertainment unit and has gained a separate name and mascot.

Hambone (known as "Reba" here, for her real name Reba Pearl) is joined by the 13 others, who are cheerleaders, contemporary dancers, and - as mentioned in my summary - "lip dubbers."  These are groups of people who turn popular songs into full-scale productions by mouthing the words to songs while doing choreographed movements.  An example in real-life is this video from Jack Britt High School in Fayetteville, NC; also, Macy's has just announced a national contest for lip-dub groups, which is open to high-school students from across the United States.

Some of the 14 are real people like Alyssa Barefoot, Brandy Rapp, and even a colorized picture of former Mickey Mouse Club cast member Billie Beanblossom.  Others are based on three cheerleader models I found on various websites, including that of Party City, with brushes, hue and saturation adjustments, and curves adjustments to create distinct faces and hair colors.  "Buzzy" is played by Georgia Tech mascot "Buzz"; I found his picture at the Georgia Encyclopedia site.