Saturday, October 22, 2016

Thanks for your patience!

I know, it's been two months since the last time I added a post to this blog.  I can explain this absence with a number of factors:
  • I had to change computers twice in a 60-day period.  First, I replaced my seven-year-old Dell Inspiron with an Acer Aspire on Aug. 19.  Unfortunately, the Aspire had a serious power issue which caused the machine to shut down at random times.  After quite a few times of this, my mother and I agreed to return the computer to HSN to receive a full refund.  Then on Sep. 26, I bought a Dell Inspiron 15; except for a problem toggling between programs using the taskbar, there have been no significant issues since purchase.
  • I had to re-install all my software and apps each time I replaced the computers.  That left me less time to start or restart new personal projects.
  • With all that, I simply forgot about this blog!

That being said - since the story is set on the southern edge of Johnston County, NC - I must report that the lives of my characters were impacted by Hurricane Matthew, if for no reason except nearby roads and the one-room schoolhouse Bryson and Belinda attended were closed the week it hit.  The school would probably have re-opened this past Monday, one day before the county's public schools did. (This is because all the students live nearby and the school runs as a separate operation.) Otherwise, I can give no specifics, because the local newspaper that serves the area has provided no specific coverage of Meadow.  The chances, however, are that the power went out for at least the weekend after Matthew hit.  Then again, it may well have minimized the impact on the farm house, since it went off the grid about the time Gone Barefoot began taping.

I will end with a special reward for all of you: Remember Blondie - not the new wave band but the pianist I created as one of the label mates for Buddy Wayne Barefoot?  Here's a revised "publicity photo" of the versatile performer, who knows everything from Beethoven to Billy Joel.  (Please note that the bottom text was just to fill white space and all contact information is fictional.)

Saturday, August 27, 2016

John & Jennifer Barefoot's "golden year"

As much as I love my "second family," I am excited to hear about things that happen to their real-life namesakes.  That's especially true for those who live in the tri-county area of Sampson, Johnston, and Harnett counties of North Carolina, the same as my characters.

Early this morning, I learned about this couple who now live in Dunn, the largest city in Harnett County.  They recently celebrated their 50th anniversary with a small and intimate but celebratory party.  Here are the details from The Daily Record:

John Edward and Jennifer Joanne Barefoot of Dunn celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary Aug. 21. They were honored with a “We Still Do BBQ” Aug. 20 at the Benson Fire Department. The renewal of sacred vows was their golden anniversary gift to each other. The ceremony was performed by Steven Campbell of Beulah Baptist Church.

There were approximately 100 guests in attendance.

Hosts for the reception were Mr. and Mrs. Barefoot’s children: Sherry Barefoot (Patrick Brooks), Brian Barefoot (Crystal), Tony Barefoot (Heather) and Amy Moore (Jeff).

The venue was decorated in a rustic theme. Floral arrangements included cream hydrangea blooms, sunflowers and eucalyptus. A memory table displayed photographs of the couple throughout their 50 years together.

Music was provided by the Touch of Grey Band.

Guests printed their thumbprint and names on the couple’s anniversary thumbprint tree.

Mr. and Mrs. Barefoot’s grandchildren are: Seth Barefoot, Hansen Barefoot, Matthew Moore, Jacob Moore, John David Barefoot, Haley Barefoot and Dylan Honeycutt.

Their great-granddaughter is Lauren Grace Moore.

Guests were served barbecued pork and chicken, boiled potatoes, green beans, baked beans, cole slaw, dinner rolls, banana pudding and anniversary cake.

Mr. Barefoot is a native of Anderson Creek. Mrs. Barefoot is the former Jennifer Joanne Thomas of Lillington. They were married in 1966 in Dillon, S.C.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Harvey presents his ideal UFC card

Finally, I come around to part two of showing Harvey Barefoot's love for the Ultimate Fighting Championship.  When he was at UFC 200 in Las Vegas earlier this month, he spoke to fans and the media about how his own interest as a fan has grown, and about the current state of UFC.

He also wanted to honor the promotion's history by revealing what he thought the ideal pay-per-view card would look like.  It would have 12 matches - five on the main card and seven preliminary matches, split between Fox Sports 1 and the UFC Fight Pass streaming service.

Harvey first wanted to pit fighters from different eras against each other; however, he also had to take weight classes and gender into account, so some matches had to be set up under other criteria.

The card Harvey made is as follows:
Main card (pay-per-view)
Light-heavyweight: Chuck Liddell vs. Jon "Bones" Jones
Harvey thinks this is the equal of if Muhammad Ali took on Joe Louis in boxing.  These are two of the most important stars in UFC history and their primes are about a decade apart.  Liddell was involved in memorable matches against Tito Ortiz, Randy Couture, and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson among his seven PPV appearances.  Jones defended his light-heavyweight title five consecutive times and might still be champion today if not for legal problems and failed drug tests.
Heavyweight: Randy Couture vs. Brock Lesnar II
Couture was UFC champion as both heavyweight and light-heavyweight and crossed over to be a movie actor (The Expendables).  Lesnar, a champion in NCAA college wrestling and WWE as well as UFC, defeated Couture at UFC 91 in 2008 to win the heavyweight championship.
Bantamweight(women): Ronda Rousey vs. Cristiane "Cyborg" Justino
Rousey so impressed UFC president Dana White that the organization bought the Strikeforce promotion just to get her contract!  Rousey then was awarded the inaugural bantamweight title and defended it three times before she was upset by Holly Holm at UFC 193 in November 2015.  During her title reign, Rousey became the face of UFC and a symbol of women's empowerment.  Cyborg, who may well be the second-best female fighter today, made her UFC debut at UFC 198 in May 2016.
Middleweight: Anderson Silva vs. Michael Bisping
Bisping and Silva are first and second on the all-time list for most wins in UFC fights.  Despite Bisping's success, he was not given a title shot until UFC 199, when he defeated champion Luke Rockhold as an injury replacement.  Silva's career was derailed by drug use and a broken leg, but he did come back to face Daniel Cormier at UFC 200 on just two weeks notice (he lost).
Lightweight: B.J. Penn vs. Conor McGregor
McGregor, one of today's biggest superstars, holds the record for quickest victory in a title defense (he beat José Aldo in 13 seconds at UFC 194).  Penn was one of the promotion's biggest stars throughout the mid-2000s.
Undercard (Fox Sports 1)
Welterweight: Georges St.-Pierre vs. Matt Hughes III
St.-Pierre defeated Hughes at UFC 65, then again at UFC 79.  Hughes may have been the first fighter to write an autobiography, Made In America.
Light-heavyweight: Royce Gracie vs. Quinton "Rampage" Jackson
Gracie was UFC's first real star, having won two of the first three tournaments.  More importantly, he probably set the blueprint for what the sport of mixed martial arts is today.  Jackson, a champion in PRIDE, UFC, and Bellator, is best known for his wolf-like howl as he entered the ring and after each win.
Bantamweight: José Aldo vs. Dominick Cruz
Both Aldo and Cruz are former champions and mainstays on UFC pay-per-views over the last half-decade.
Strawweight(w): Tecia Torres vs. Carla Esparza II
This would be a rematch of the finale of The Ultimate Fighter in season 21, which Esparza won.  It's the only season in the franchise in which the tournament decided a champion; in this case, the first-ever UFC strawweight title.
Undercard (UFC Fight Pass)
Catchweight: Tito Ortiz vs. T.J. Dillashaw
Ortiz, one of the biggest stars ever as welterweight, takes on Dillashaw, a former featherweight champ, in another "battle of the ages."  Ortiz faced the likes of Liddell, Ken Shamrock, and Vitor Belfort, while Dillashaw was an alumnus of The Ultimate Fighter.
Heavyweight: Mark Coleman vs. Cain Velasquez
Coleman was the first UFC heavyweight champion, while Velasquez reigned as champion twice about 15 years after Coleman did.
Bantamweight(w): Miesha Tate vs. Bethe Correa
Tate and Correa are two of the best female fighters in UFC history.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Brittany gets a makeover!

As before, I've been sidetracked.

For some time, my plan was to return to character as Harvey and discuss more of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, specifically his favorite fighters, matches, and moments.  But then I realized I have not been a fan long enough to judge these things.  Heck, I've been watching a series of countdown shows just to find out who these fighters are!  All I can do is hope Harvey had a great time watching Saturday night's UFC 200 card in person in Las Vegas.  UFC president Dana White had to do all he could to salvage it after the main event between Daniel Cormier and Jon Jones was canceled when Jones was advised of a possible failed test for a performance-enhancing drug.
UFC 200 poster with canceled match
Final UFC 200 promotional poster

I did go back to Photoshop to carry out an easier task: change the hairstyle of Buddy Wayne Barefoot's wife Brittany Raylene.  Inspired by such sources as The Sound of Music and the Wendy's logo, her new hairdo now features pigtails on both sides.

For this, I placed the face of former NFL cheerleader Katie Klaasen (a/k/a Brittany) on top of a photo of an unidentified girl who lives in Harnett County, NC.  The pigtail on the left was selected and replaced to the right to adjust to how different Brittany's face is curved compared to that of the original girl.  Then, just for blanks and giggles, I used the text tool and rasterization to "embroider" Brittany's "real name" on the neck of the shirt the Harnett County girl wore.

What do you think of this?

Friday, June 24, 2016

Gone Barefoot summaries seasons 9 and 10 (revised)

Here are the episodes that would have aired so far in 2016.

Season 9
#66 - Jan. 10, 2016: "Battle of the Barefoot Stars"
In this 1970s-themed episode, the 11 oldest members of the house join 19 other distant relatives, divide into two teams (with Buddy Wayne and Hambone as captains), and stage a traditional field-day competition.  When teams are formed, Brandy and Bunky find themselves on opposite teams, which they agree is "totally awkward."  Contests include cotton-picking, speed plowing, and a briar patch maze relay race.  It all comes down - literally - to a mudball fight, at which B.W. shows his classical "hillbilly" side that he's been promising to show for years.  But in the end, it's not enough, as Hambone's team wins; B.W. has to wear a mule head for a whole day as a result.  Oh, and Hambone finally gets to blow something up - the trailer where Labell and Allene lived before they moved into the new house.
#67 - Jan. 17, 2016: "Company's Coming"
With field day over, B.W. announces his most ambitious plan yet: He has bought hundreds of acres of land on both sides of Barefoot Road and wants to move as many of the remaining descendants of John Noah Barefoot - 108 of them - into houses along the road as possible.  Up first, he announces, are Popeye's nine remaining brothers and sisters in a house between the farm house and the one Labell, Allene, and family moved into during season 4.  Harvey helps build the house, while Annie and Jennifer help with the decorations.  Meanwhile, Hambone establishes the boneyard ministry at her brother's Long Branch church.
#68 - Jan. 24, 2016: "It's Fair Game"
Several family members go to the North Carolina State Fair in Raleigh.  Buddy Wayne takes Ellie and Mildred, the farm's primary source of dairy products, for contest judging and demonstrations.  A case of bovine "stage fright" could cost Ellie in the show cow contest, while Mildred gains her own celebrity status.  But that's nothing compared to Miss Hambone, who is crowned "redneck queen" in front of the largest crowd in fair history.  Speaking of queens, former Miss Idealia Brandy watches the latest pageant on her smart phone from the fair; there, Rae'Janette Leak is crowned, making her the first African-American winner in the event's history.  Finally, Bunky plays "pied piper" as he continues his one-man band career and promotes his new album.
#69 - Jan. 31, 2016: "Ain't No Moonshine"
As part of the clan returns from Raleigh, B.W. sees a new use for all the briar corn he's harvested: Mash some of it up and mix with sugar to create what he bills as a non-alcoholic version of moonshine.  "It looks like booze, it tastes like booze, but it's not booze," he boasts.  However, when he gives it to Hambone to taste, she's not impressed: "This is a sad version of the real thing!"  B.W. is disappointed because he thought 'Bone had kicked the habit.  "I'll keep trying," he insists.  Also, the Barefoots accept a donation of a bush that produces a berry called mayhaw from the Robertsons, who are paying back the family after Hambone had visited them twice, once to tape Duck Dynasty and then a separate hunting trip.  Finally, the family tastes goat milk that Popeye had made during the cows' trip to Raleigh.
#70 - Feb. 14, 2016: "Special #1: Valentine's Day"
(There was no episode the previous week due to Super Bowl 50.)
In a roundtable discussion, the couples of the cast speak about how they met, the ups and downs of their relationships, and share video highlights that have not been seen before on the network.  The couples are: Buddy Wayne and Brittany Spears, Bobby Ray and Jennifer, Popeye and Annie, Brandy and Hylton Tripp, and "Cousin Beth" and Trey Johnson.  At the end of the show, Beth and Trey unveil their adopted son, Jordan.
#71 - Feb. 14, 2016: "Special #2: Super Bowl 50"
The brothers spend four days in San Francisco and Santa Clara, CA on a bucket-list trip.  On Friday, they start with radio interviews, then make it to NFL Experience for fun, games, and rivalry.  At the end of the 50th Mile, they go to Super Bowl City for a wonderful coincidence.  Saturday takes them to a winery in the Napa Valley, then on to the NFL Honors award show.  On Sunday, it's what they've all been waiting for: the 50th edition of the biggest sporting event in America.  B.W. the Broncos fan leaves happy; not so with Bobby Ray the Panthers fan as Denver wins 24-10.  Thanks to the collaboration of Brian Warner's crew, NFL Films, and GoPro (who provided Bobby with a point-of-view camera on game day), this show airs just one week after the game.
#72 - Feb. 21, 2016: "Great Day in Meadow"
When Harvey rejoined the Meadow Indians football team two years ago, it was near the bottom of the standings and hadn't won the conference championship in at least a decade.  Now, they take the field against the legendary quarterback Bud Strickland and Four Oaks, the dominant team in the area historically.  The outcome is shocking and historic: Not only do the Indians win, but Blake - the "quiet" brother of Brandy and Bunky - makes his own name by being the winning QB and putting up his best offensive numbers ever!  Meanwhile, the Barefoot Mommas' Club gets styling tips from the legendary Sarah Jane Brookshire at a nearby salon, Hambone and her friends attend a movie premiere of a movie starring Kate Lynn, and Belinda answers letters from other children from around the world.
#73 - Mar. 6, 2016: "That's Not My Name"
(There was no episode the previous week due to the 88th Academy Awards.)
Belinda calls the entire house in to witness an "emergency meeting" of all her dolls.  There, she discloses that "Little Jill Horner," her actress doll, is just a stage name and that her real name is Bunnatine Barbette Brumbleberry.  And that's not all: "Bunny" says she hates acting and got into it only because she wanted the money and fame that came with the job.  "In my heart, I want to stay home, work on my garden, and raise kids.  I am done with Hollywood!"  Buddy Wayne and Bobby Ray are moved by Belinda's story, because that's what their own lives are all about.   In addition, B.W. surprises a radio station's Christmas party with a performance, Annie looks for a dog at an adoption event hosted by her niece Melinda, and Bryson learns how to play basketball and joins the school team.
#74 - Mar. 13, 2016: "Patches In Our Hearts"
Annie models clothes at Randy Beasley's "clothing through the ages" fashion show, in an effort to mend fences with her original family after the "brawl game" incident (episode #51).  She gets a loud and supported reaction from the room, and Randy declares the matter closed and everyone forgiven.  "I am so happy for everyone's understanding," Annie beams.  In addition, most of the 13 attend a party to honor the adoption of Jordan by "cousin Beth" and her boyfriend, and Popeye expresses an interest in becoming a bodybuilder.

Season 10
The premiere is scheduled to take place on June 26.  It will be another episode (or two) of the rumspringa concept.

Gone Barefoot summaries seasons 7 and 8 (revised)

These are the episodes that would have aired in 2015.

Season 7
#49 - Jan. 4, 2015: "Back Home"
The Barefoots return home from their New Jerusalem show and find there is a lot to do to catch up, and plans to make for the future.  Buddy Wayne thanks participants on the latest season of BMN Superfan for helping out with the chores during their absence and congratulated Aubrey Graham for winning the contest; he also updates plans to bring the entire extended clan together in Meadow.  Braylor McPatter delivers several awards for Dixie Rising; "Best Overall Performance," "Best Command Performance" (turns out Jesus was watching after all), and "Best Breakout Act" for Hambone.  At the end of the show, a holler comes over from a few yards away; who could it be - and why?
#50 - Jan. 11, 2015: "Extreme Makeover Meadow Edition"
It turns out that the holler came from Popeye's brother Labell, and it was to tell everyone that he, his wife Allene, and their 20(!) children need a new house to replace two trailer parks at which they have lived.  Needless to day, the project is huge and they need as much help as possible to build it.  B.W. and Popeye immediately adjourn to discuss the plans for renovation.  Shortly after that, the clan attends Brandy's dance recital at Lena Peacock's school in Meadow; here we meet Hylton Tripp, a man in his mid-20s from Greenville and East Carolina University graduate with a clear down-home lifestyle away from the dance floor.
#51 - Jan. 18, 2015: "Brawl Game"
While visiting her parents' house, Annie is invited to look at old photographs of their relatives as athletes.  To her horror, one of the items placed in a scrapbook is a picture of Annie's mother wearing a basketball uniform with the word "BULL B**CHES."  She explains that the Beasley family had a team in a church league decades ago, but Annie is offended.  She takes the news back to the house, and B.W. organizes an all-star softball team - called the "Blackies" or black bears - to challenge the Beasleys.  Annie decides to cheer on Harvey and his teammates on the clan team, which causes a major argument in the stands before the game.  During it, the benches clear after fast-pitch ace Juanita Beasley hits Harvey with a pitch.  However, just two innings later, he gets his revenge with a game-tying home run.  Still down two in the last inning, Robert (grandson of distant relative "Rack") has a single and RBI to tie the score.  Beth then comes up and hits a fly ball dropped by a nephew of Annie.  Two runs score and the Blackies win!
#52 - Jan. 25, 2015: "The Makeover Begins"
Work on Labell's family's new dwelling begins.  Popeye and Harvey waste no time in planning and building the entire project and dozens of family and friends jump on board in the Southern equivalent of a "barn raising."  Hambone, ever the tomboy, joins the crew that's otherwise all-male.  Meanwhile, Bryson makes his debut playing for the school's flag football team, and Pink and his wife Elinor show off all eight of their children, contrasting their daily lives with those of subsequent generations.
#53 - Feb. 8, 2015: "Move That Bus!"
(There was no episode the previous week due to Super Bowl XLIX.)
Labell's new dwelling is finally ready!  There is a huge celebration that brings the extended Barefoot family together again.  B.W. sings and plays guitar, Hambone does an original performance called "Carolina Slappin'," Hambone's friend Bellamy Wood sings a country hit song, teacher Noah Barefoot reads poetry, and cousin Beth serves a huge cake.  "This is better than I ever could have imagined," marvels Labell.  (The entire episode is done as a tribute to Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, which aired on ABC from 2003 to 2012; the episode title has to do with how the finished projects were revealed.)
#54 - Feb. 15, 2015: "Meet Our Hidden Families"
Ralph, Harvey, and Hambone reveal that they were husbands and parents in their previous lives, and make trips to see them.  Ralph goes to the Batten Farm in Selma to see his wife, Ellender, and their three teenage children.  He recounts his ministry trips around the world and teaches the Batten children how to farm using the traditional methods he learned overseas and at home.  Harvey, who was a husband, father, and grandfather, sees his wife Rena Stephenson and other relatives at their home in Elevation.  Finally, Hambone shares the heartbreak of giving up on having a family after a miscarriage and a stillbirth; when doctors couldn't figure why they occurred, she gave up on having a family of her own.  Instead, she threw herself into her work, and spent the last 18 years before the Rapture working for Johnston County Public Schools.  There is also footage of the ceremony a few years back at which she received her GED (high-school equivalency degree).
#55 - Mar. 1, 2015: "The World Is Waiting"
(There was no episode the previous week due to the 87th Academy Awards.)
Brandy and Bunky get the good news: They've been cast for The Amazing Race, CBS' long-standing reality TV series!  As they pack up for the start of the season, Ralph holds a special service to pray for their well-being as they travel and compete.  Brandy admits to high expectations for the team: "If we don't win this season, we'll call it a failure."  But the rest of the clan is not to be outdone: Jennifer begins work on the second book in the Ella Littlebridge series, Hambone turns Halloween into a friends' night out, and Bryson scores his first touchdown in flag football.
#56 - Mar. 8, 2015: "Broken 'Bone"
B.W. orders the entire clan to come together for an emergency meeting.  He reveals that Hambone has accumulated too many unexcused absences from the farm over the last several months, and has forgotten to glorify God in her work.  As a result, he announces, Hambone is no longer part of the Barefoot Family Farm and is being told to leave immediately.  The entire house is stunned, then 'Bone thanks everyone for the time she has spent at the farm and leads a prayer for the remaining 12.  B.W. invites her to return at any time for non-work purposes. Before then, the Barefoot Boys have their first full performance at a church revival in nearby Bentonville, while the entire Barefoot Mommas' Club - 24 strong! - have a meeting and photo shoot.
Season 8
#57 - Jul. 5, 2015: "One Wrong Turn"
The family members leave the farm temporarily to go on their version of the Amish rumspringa - in which they leave the farm to participate in modern activities.  Harvey makes his debut as a mixed martial arts performer at Smithfield-Selma High School. Brenda participates in the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus at PNC Arena in Raleigh, but first attends "clown college" in Florida.  Bobby Ray, Jennifer, and Belinda are in New York City to see the memorial to the victims of the September 11 attacks.  Finally, Brandy and Bunky's dream appearance on The Amazing Race comes to an end when they are eliminated after five legs of the 11 that were run.  It doesn't help that another team U-turns them, forcing them to complete both detours.
#58 - Jul. 12, 2015: "Stockings and Lumps of Coal"
Buddy Wayne goes on a "grand Christmas tour" with his wife Brittany Spears and their daughter Lizzie.  They go ice-skating at Rockefeller Center in New York; see a Christkindlmarkt in the Bavarian Alps, and visit the traditional birthplace of Jesus Christ in Bethlehem.  During the trip, Popeye takes over the farm with the help of some of his siblings and cousins; they take over the annual Xmas celebration with the McLamb Madrigals and "Santa" (Popeye himself).  Also, Hambone goes on a national tour, with two fellow body-percussion artists, that had already been scheduled.  Once she returns, she cries while looking back at the place she no longer works at.
#59 - Jul. 19, 2015: "Saved by the Bell"
Hambone returns to Camp Paradise, where owner Bud Strickland welcomes her back in.  She throws herself more into her work at the camp, which includes the first pay-per-view card of her United Championship Wrestling promotion.  It's a night of incredible matches, climaxing with a once-in-a-lifetime finish to the main event match - Leaping Lanny beats One Man Gang after a belly flop from near the roof of the arena!  Also, the spring planting season begins and Annie introduces pawpaw trees, which are said to produce fruit much like bananas.  Finally, Belinda makes a Little Jill Horner doll that visits the dollhouse for "acting lessons."
#60 - Jul. 26, 2015: "We Are the Good Pirates"
As a reward for the students at the Overshot school, including Bryson and Belinda, at the end of the year, Popeye organizes a cruise of Rose Pond and a mock pirate attack.  The unsuspecting victims are actually Kate Lynn (a fourth cousin of some of the residents) and other professional actors.  After the "invasion," LaRayne McLamb (another fourth cousin) performs for the children at a nearby house.  Meanwhile, B.W., Belinda, Bryson and Amy (cousin of B.W. and Bryson's school crush) go to Bentonville to visit a petting zoo and watch pig races; while B.W. is out, Hambone has the idea of blowing up the car he got for Christmas at the end of season 1, as revenge for being fired from the farm; she says it's just "redneck logic."
#61 - Aug. 2, 2015: "Fame and Fortune"
Hambone is lured back into the house to join the others as a surprise announcement takes place: Buddy Wayne has been given a special induction into the NASCAR Hall of Fame!  The next day, they accept congratulations while they play at the Bud Strickland Golf Classic at the Country Club of Smithfield.  The brothers, as expected, have generally a rough go in their debuts as golfers, but Dennis Herring (an uncle) carries the team in the event. The Barefoot Mommas' Club's latest party celebrates the height of British power in the Victorian age of the late-19th century.  Finally, Ralph lives out his fantasy as the superhero "Buck Hunter" in a photo shoot.
#62 - Aug. 9, 2015: "Fouled Out?"
Buddy gets shocking news: He has been ruled ineligible for the Meadow-area basketball team, for which he had just agreed to be a full-time player and assistant coach.  It's based on him having grown up in Benson; the county's director of athletics declares he can only play for that team.  Now, his entire career depends on his appeal to the director and the rest of the board.  Also, Popeye reveals his portrait of John Noah, the nearest common ancestor of most of the residents of the Barefoot Family Farm; and his wife Annie unveils plans for the second Ella Nellie Bell Littlebridge novel.  At the end of the show, Hambone shows video of her stealing B.W.'s car and announcing that the explosion will take place live at a bonfire barbeque in two weeks.
#63 - Aug. 16, 2015: "Countdown to Blowdown"
Planning for the bonfire barbeque starts in earnest, as Hambone and his family and friends send invitations to those from the extended clan, cast members from other BMN shows, and some other fans.  Hambone takes a break from planning to accept an honor from the Carolina Mudcats minor-league baseball team, for which she worked as an usher many years ago.  Meanwhile, Belinda is named "Student of the Year" among all one-room schoolhouse students in Johnston County.
#64 - Aug. 23, 2015: "Bonfire BBQ Live/You're Re-Hired!"
For the first time, there is a live episode, taking place at the Mingo Mud Bog in Sampson County.  As guests enjoy a barbeque dinner, the Barefoot Boys, LaRayne McLamb, and Brother Love & Peggy Sue perform, and a history of the car is presented.  That was supposed to be followed by the detonation of the show car B.W. received for Christmas.  Instead, B.W. orders a halt, apologizes for his earlier decision, and effectively re-hires Hambone with a generous work contract.  She will have four months off for outreach followup and special shows around the world, and in addition she will have her own guest room to which she can invite younger family members and her friends.  The only condition: "You still have to clean the poop and milk Mildred every day," B.W. insists.  Of course, Hambone accepts the offer right away, and the show ends.
#65 - Aug. 30, 2015: "Goin' Big"
Highlights of all the family's special events so far are presented with new commentary from the farm residents.  They include holiday celebrations, B.W.'s vow renewal ceremony, the New Jerusalem show, and the near-explosion of the Christmas car.

Gone Barefoot summaries seasons 5 and 6 (revised)

These are the episodes that would have aired in 2014.

Season 5
#33 - Jan. 5, 2014: "Bad Bone, Good Girls" (2 hours)
The cliffhanger surrounding Hambone's whereabouts early in the morning of the family reunion is resolved.  It is revealed that she slipped out of the all-ages formal dance without telling anyone else, took off her formal clothes, slipped into redneck gear, and spent the rest of the night with the Camp Paradise cousins in a pine forest behind the property.  After seeing her with bloodshot eyes, B.W. gives her a verbal warning against any further action in the future.  Also on the show, Brandy ends her reign as Miss Idealia and watches Megan Turnipseed (former BMN Superfan contestant) win the crown; the show also honors Tonya McBrookins, a black woman from Louisiana who was allowed to enter the pageant in the 1960s, despite the rampant discrimination in the South at the time; she made the live finale only to be pulled under immense pressure from the region's political and business leaders.
#34 - Jan. 12, 2014: "Beautiful Barefoot Day"
B.W. explains the origin of the Barefoot last name and why going barefoot at all times is important to the family.  Meanwhile, the family overcomes the summer heat by holding a "beach party" on the pond, complete with belly flops, swimming, and playing in the mud.  At night, the family gathers at Bryson's treehouse for the unveiling of the poster that depicts the made-up movie Showdown at Las Positas.  In the “film,” Bryson plays the world’s youngest Western-style sheriff, who protects a town in the southwestern United States from outlaws.  A red carpet leads to the treehouse, which is decorated with all kinds of Western stuff.  Beth, a cousin of B.W.’s and expert baker, delivers a cake to share at the end of the meal, and B.W. and Popeye sing songs typical of those in period serials. 
#35 - Jan. 19, 2014: "Meadow Night Lights"
The new stadium at Meadow School hosts its first game, as the Meadow Indians alumni team takes on the Coats Yellowjackets.  The stadium is named for the Barefoot family, which donates $2 million to the county for construction costs.  Harvey makes his return to football playing for Meadow, while Hambone and Beth are on the sidelines as cheerleaders.  With time running out, "Lil' Jack," one of the third cousins who help out at Camp Paradise, intercepts a pass to seal the 27-24 win for the Indians.  The "halftime show" is an update on ceremony preparations.
#36 - Jan. 26, 2014: "Welcome to the Show!"
A letter delivered by Braylor McPatter, the local carrier, has exciting news for everyone: The Barefoots have been chosen to perform at a world's fair celebrating the ascension of Jesus Christ to his throne in the new Jerusalem!  In the shows, everyone expresses their love for their Lord and Savior in different ways.  B.W. goes to work picking a title for the family's variety show, "Dixie Rising," and a general theme celebrating life in the rural Southern United States.  Also, Brian Warner, director of this program, travels to the World Showcase portion of Epcot, part of the Walt Disney World Resort in Florida, to tour a real world's fair similar to the one the Barefoots will visit.
#37 - Mar. 9, 2014: "Life With Popeye"
(This show followed a five-week suspension due to Super Bowl XLVIII, the 2014 Winter Olympics, and the 86th Academy Awards.)
Buddy Wayne spends a day with Popeye and all 10 of his brothers and sisters at their home on state highway 50, about three miles from the farm.  They help with chores around the house and at the backyard farm, have dinner together, tell stories, and sing.  Some of them also agree to help on B.W.'s farm site during events such as the upcoming world's fair show, of which they react with great excitement. Speaking of the show, B.W. has "writer's block" relating to the program; he has several parts of the show for which he has to give roles to family members and has no idea where to begin.  Also, Bunky explains and exhibits one of his favorite passions, called either parkour or freerunning.
#38 - Mar. 16, 2014: "Re-Generation"
Bunky, Hambone, and Brandy join dozens of cousins, aunts and uncles at the John Noah Youth Jam, a spin-off "family reunion" with separate events, one for school-aged children and another for teenagers and young adults.  While those of school age hang around the mud pit and treehouse and come home early, the older attendees play cornhole, volleyball, and other party games at a slumber party highlighted by a "lip rock" performance by a group called the Honey Bees, which includes Hambone and five friends.  (A "lip rock" is one in which a large group of performers mouth the words to a popular song with elaborate choreography.)  The show also features businesses owned by two of the attendees and distant relatives of B.W.: cousin Beth's bakery and aunt Ola's photography shop.  Finally, the official invitation to the Spears-Barefoot "re-wedding" is revealed.
#39 - Mar. 23, 2014: "You Can Hear the Bells"
Preparations for the renewal of vows are in full swing.  On the groom's side, the usual bachelor party is replaced by a church service and Southern gospel performance.  Meanwhile, the Spears family holds a bridal shower with traditional music, games, and stories of the Ulster-Scot Appalachians before the attendees start the 430-mile trip to North Carolina via traditional methods.  The bride, groom, bridesmaids, and groomsmen all have their clothes handmade, mostly by Brenda and Annie.
#40 - Mar. 30, 2014: "The Circle Is Unbroken"
After five years together and four as a married couple, Buddy Wayne and Brittany Raylene renew their vows and hold the formal ceremony they have always wanted.  Their daughter Lizzie serves as the ring girl, Ralph brings the two back into marriage, and Hambone acts up again, pretending to object to the wedding then saying that she was just kidding.  At the reception, the first dance occurs to the music of their hit song "When the Bough Breaks."  The farm house hosts the wedding, while Long Branch hosts the reception.
Season 6
#41 - Jul. 6, 2014: "Many Happy Returns"
After their second wedding on the North Carolina farm, Buddy Wayne and Brittany travel to the Caribbean Sea for their honeymoon.  Starting out in Miami, the itinerary includes the Virgin Islands, Dominica, Grenada, Bonaire and Aruba, as well as a private island.  At the end of the 11-day trip, B.W. tells Brittany about the variety show he's putting together; she agrees to be part of the show and even write an original song to be performed at the end.  The show features a tour of Port Royal, the former "Sin City" of the Caribbean finally rebuilt in the Millennium, and special performances of local music.
#42 - Jul. 13, 2014: "Big Bucks, Double Whammy"
Buddy Wayne, Hambone, Popeye, Ralph, Harvey, and Bobby Ray join nine others in the extended family for Camp Paradise's largest hunting trip ever.  After a day trying to pin down bucks and other woodland creatures, it's time for a huge party around the fire, centered on "bonfire barbecue" and beer.  Hambone tries to make B.W. and Ralph drink, which make them both uncomfortable.  Everyone stays overnight, and then B.W. tries his hand at driving through the mud bog the next day.  An afternoon of swimming and belly flops ends the second day.
#43 - Jul. 20, 2014: "Glory Days"
Buddy Wayne was a point guard in basketball while attending high school, and on this episode he returns to the court.  In this game, Meadow takes on the Four Oaks Cardinals; among the opposing team's players is Harold "Bud" Strickland, perhaps the greatest athlete in the history of Johnston County.  Strickland, it turns out, is a distant relative: one of B.W.'s aunts is married to one of Bud's sons.  Oh, and he's also Hambone's boss at Camp Paradise!  Also, Belinda aces the final exams at the Overshot School and receives a special award from Noah, while Bryson and the Rotten Rascals scatter the trees with toilet paper to mark the last day.
#44 - Jul. 27, 2014: "This Will Be Big"
B.W. receives information about New Jerusalem, the world's fair site, and the shows.  When told that the city is 1,400 miles long, wide, and high - as described in Revelation 22 - Hambone exclaims, "This will be big!"   Unfortunately, just as big is the problem she has with her mother, Annie, who she accuses of abandoning in favor of Brandy.  Annie responds that Brandy asked her to help with Miss Idealia, and that this took up a lot of time.  Besides, she adds, "Anytime you need me, I'm right here."  The two settle their differences over a relaxing mud bath.  Also on the show: B.W. and Bud Strickland are among the first inductees into the Johnston County Sports Hall of Fame, and Brenda earns a spot in a cookbook created by home cooks from throughout the South.
#45 - Aug. 3, 2014: "View to a Real Talk"
One of the "shooting the breeze" segments unwittingly turns into a parody of daytime television's all-female talk shows.  Brenda, Annie, Jennifer, and Brandy dish on what they loved and hated about their past lives, as well as why things are so much better now.  Belinda also stops by to show off her dollhouse to the mothers' club.  In addition: B.W. speaks by secret cell phone to Brittany Raylene to update the song they're co-writing, and B.W.'s cousin Kim Strickland sings "Belly Rubbin'" on an open-mike night in Nashville.  (Brittany and Kim are roommates in the "Music City.")
#46 - Aug. 10, 2014: "The Show is Revealed"
Buddy Wayne reveals the final rundown for Dixie Rising and everyone seems to like the roles they have been given.  However, he warns them that experience will be unlike anything they have done before, and that he's heard that Jesus Himself might be in the audience.  "No pressure, huh?" Brandy asks sarcastically.  Speaking of Brandy, her brother Bunky is having a hard time finding the right music for his one-man band performance and fears he'll run out of time; and Hambone informs the four brothers/third cousins about her trip to the New Jerusalem and finalizes plans to turn the place over to them in her absence.  Finally, Popeye creates - and solves - his own crossword puzzle.
#47 - Aug. 17, 2014: "Won't You Be My Redneck?"
In the last episode before the trip to New Jerusalem, B.W. finalizes all the arrangements for travel, hotel, rehearsal schedules, and even free time before the show.  At the end of the planning session, B.W. has a surprise announcement: Ralph has been named Hambone's chaperone, citing Hambone's propensity for running off and the need to keep to a very tight schedule once they arrive.  Ralph readily agrees, but his sister is absolutely incensed; she wonders why she is being singled out for what she sees as unfair punishment.  After some time of back-and-forth bantering, Hambone lets out an impression of the children's TV host Fred Rogers that becomes the title of this episode.  In the end, it's time for the clan to board an airplane - most for the first time ever - as it takes off from Raleigh/Durham International Airport.
#48 - Aug. 24, 2014: "Dixie Rising"
First hour: The Barefoot family arrives in New Jerusalem and finds their hotel room.  There, a welcome reception takes place and they meet the other performers from around the world.  One of them catches Ralph's eye!  The next day, it's on to the 7,000-seat All-American Theater where the show will take place, and needless to say, everyone is awestruck!  A full rehearsal takes place, and the clan meets the backup singers, dancers, actors, and others that have come to enhance the show.  After it's over, there's a free night.  Most of them go to Matt's Boardwalk, which has arcade games, bowling, and racing karts.  But Hambone has to stay behind with Ralph, which leaves her sighing, "I'm bored!" in a memorable scene.  Everyone does come together for the rehearsal dinner, which introduces us to the "Jack Attack," an ice-cream cake with "boogers" and "snot" (relax, actually malted milk balls and caramel, respectively).
Second hour: The clan arrives for their big moment, nervous as all out, especially Hambone; she thinks the show is the only way she can garner the attention she thinks she deserves.  What's worse, her costumes don't arrive until just before the show starts.  Blondie, the session pianist, also gets there just in the nick of time.  But everything is in place, the lights go down, and the show begins: the women read from Proverbs 31, Bunky turns into a one-man band, Hambone gets down to a classic country song, and B.W. and Brittany Spears debut a new blues/bluegrass/Nashville hybrid song, "Down Home."  After the show, it's back to the hotel and then the airport for the trip home.