Brittany Spears "interview"

This is something I have been looking toward for quite some time.

Brittany Raylene Spears is my second favorite character in The Buddy Wayne Chronicles, only behind the main character. As I have explained before, her appeal is based on a combination of a simple, old-fashioned life and the promise and flower of youth.

Although only a teenager, she is the lead singer of a band that performs a musical style as traditional as the Appalachian Mountains themselves. Her wholesome, down-to-earth behavior and her modest beauty has made her the poster child for bluegrass music.

She also shares the same name (at least as pronounced) as Britney Spears. But whereas Britney left behind her country roots for a career as a provocative pop singer, Brittany has stayed grounded. Besides, Brittany is a lot more talented!

Off stage, her romance with Buddy Wayne Barefoot is the talk of Idealia. Recently, the two have announced marriage plans, breaking a taboo barrier and fulfilling the dreams of both.

This "interview" is being conducted by another one of my new characters. Magdalena Babblejack is - what else? - a local reporter and gossip.


MB: Where are you from originally?
BS: My hometown is Beattyville, Kentucky, about 35 miles south of Lexington. It is in the beautiful bluegrass country by the foothills of the Appalachians.

MB: Is it safe to say that your family and your band are the same?
BS: Yes. My father Blanton and my brother Blanton, Jr. are both banjo players, my brother Bunch is on the mandolin, my brother Bradshaw is the fiddler, uncle [Blanton's brother] Brashears plays the washboard, and my sisters Blair and Bailey are dancers. My mom Rebecca is the manager and sews the clothes and dresses us.

MB: How many albums has the family made so far?
BS: We have made three albums as a group. The songs combine old classics [e.g. "Orange Blossom Special"] and original songs. One of [the original songs] is "Mad from the Moonshine," a cautionary tale about alcohol. I was the lead singer on that.

MB: Who made the decision for you to go solo?
BS: I have always wanted to go solo. And after a long and prayerful decision, that's what the family decided to do. As long as they always performed [backup music], my name would be on the album.

MB: Be honest. How much of your decision was based on the existence of Britney Spears?
BS: It weighed on me a lot. I looked at what the other Britney did, and I didn't like it. It just so happens that my name is Brittany, too. So I have always thought I was more talented that [she was], so I decided to go for it on that basis too.

MB: However, that decision led to a lot of booing at the start of your career [as detailed in Chapter 9]. How did you come to terms with it?
BS: I told myself to stay patient and to remind myself to pray. Eventually, God knows what is right and what is wrong, and I knew my faith would pull me through.

MB: Then you went on The Great Singing Showdown [the local version of American Idol; see this post for details of the competitors]. Believe it or not, you won that competition by winning the fan vote. This must be a great tribute as to how far you have come.
BS: Yes! I want to thank everyone who voted for me. Maybe a lot of people hated me at the start, but I won their respect as the weeks progressed. That's all you can ask for: to do your best and eventually the public will see your talent shine through.

MB: And you beat Buddy Wayne Barefoot, the heavy favorite!
BS: That's why I am so excited![Beaming] No one was supposed to be more popular than him in the fan balloting, but I was. What else can you say?

MB: How surprised were you at Mr. Barefoot's marriage proposal at the end of the show?
BS: Very much. After the failed try before [as noted in Chapters 9 and 11], I thought that it was never going to happen. To see that B.W. still has my heart, that is awesome!

MB: When and where is the marriage scheduled?
BS: The date is October 10. Probably at the Spears farm house. I'm the bride, so that was probably why.[Giggling]

MB: I want to go back to the show, in particular the finale. That was a funny scene in which you sang the Britney song "Circus," then had to run away and see the poster of the fake movie in which Debbie Harry plays Blondie. What was that like?
BS: It was a fun side of me that no one knew about. And no one knows it, but that was not Debbie's picture on the poster, it was "our" Blondie [the pianist]. And Bubba Brister and Matt McBriar were pretending to be football players and got the VIP treatment. The producers wanted us to have fun with our names because they were so many similarities, and that we did.

MB: What a story. You come to Idealia in a freak accident, endure the taunts of the fans, meet the big cheese at your biggest time of need, and now you will soon be man and wife. Good luck on everything, and thank you for your time.
BS: You're very welcome. Be well, Maggie.
MB: And the same to you. Goodbye.

See also: Britney vs. Brittany, a "tale of the tape" chart I did for my other site.

New Twitter account, upcoming content

In the personal tradition of adopting as much new Internet technology as possible, the author has opened a new Twitter account. For more information, and the contents of my first tweet, please see this site: http://twitter.com/bwbarefoot.

As for what's to come: an in-depth look at the Rebel X community of younger Idealians and an "interview" with the "other" Brittany Spears. I am especially looking forward to sharing more about my second-favorite character from the book. I love the Spears character because she represents how I am using Idealia to correct the injustices of the real entertainment world. I have always said that if Britney Spears had acted as wholesome and down-to-earth as her background from small-town Louisiana would suggest, then Brittany Spears would not have had to be contrived.

Boogers and spitballs

What are your memories of childhood? By far the favorite memory of so many is playtime. Maybe it was Little League baseball, or soccer tournaments, or school recess. Whatever it is, we associate fun with the innocence of the first years of our lives.

The reality is that kids' games are now run largely by and for adults. Whether it's the Little League World Series, the phenomenon of "soccer moms," the big money in action sports, or the pressure to become star athletes at ever-younger ages, youth sports and games aren't what they used to be.

But imagine for a moment if such innocence could come back, in a new game made by kids and for kids. And imagine if such innocent could last forever.

Imagine no more, as I have found such an activity in Buddy Wayne's ideal world.

It's called boogers and spitballs.


Who first thought of this game is unknown and immaterial, although the son of attorney Blackman Bibb (chapter 4) has been speculated as a possible source. What is known is that the children have taken over the game and have made sure that adults do not get involved in any way. However, I was nice enough to observe from a good distance and can report how it works.

The best way to describe it is a combination of marbles, dodgeball, and king of the hill. The object is to climb to the top of a high point, usually a low-lying rock or treetop, while avoiding hits from members of the opposing team. Usually, three to five players start a game, and of course players who are hit are eliminated. The last person standing and reaching the top wins for the team.

The name of the game comes from the two opposing sides: one team has small black balls called "boogers," and the other has small white balls called "spitballs." They got their name due to the resemblance of their physical descriptions.

Unlike the sports kids play in the real world, "boogers" is not highly organized, nor are the players divided by age, gender, or ability level. Anyone can play, and a game can break out at any time.

Boogers and spitballs. I would like to see kids in the real world try it sometime. And if they need more detailed rules, I'll help write them!


Pictured: Belinda Barefoot is one of those who regularly plays the game. She is the daughter of Bobby Ray Barefoot, Buddy Wayne's brother, and the former Amy Barbour.

Tales of a 'Barefoot' farm boy

In Chapter 3 of my book, I introduced the Barefoot family farm to which Buddy Wayne was placed once he arrived in Idealia. The farm is set on a large meadow in the Hill Country carved into the clouds of the magical place. The hills resemble the part of the Southeastern United States which is the traditional home of the rural redneck culture.

I wrote that Buddy helps in the harvest by planting crops, taking care of animals, and even guarding the water supply from contamination.

This post details the activities at the Barefoot farm throughout the year.

SPRING
During the traditional planting season, familiar crops are planted on the land: corn, wheat, barley, peaches, apples and plums. As the fruits ripen, they are picked to be part of the family's food supply. In time, the grain crops will be both human and animal food. The cows are milked twice a day and the result is both milk and other dairy products.

Alonzo Barefoot, Buddy Wayne's great-uncle and father figure is the head of the household and chief executive of Barefoot Farms. In his role, he oversees the land, pays the employees, and accounts for everything on the property. He has learned all the traditional rural methods that have been passed on from generation to generation, ever since the first Barefoot family members arrived on a plot of land in North Carolina in the 1780s.

And one of those methods is the use of mules instead of tractors. Although he lack of mechanical parts makes for longer days on smaller plots of lands than are used in modern agriculture, there is more satisfaction in the work. The farmers also learn patience, dedication, and the right way to do things.

SUMMER
As the crops grow, the family takes a break. Alonzo stays at the farm year-round, but many of the others move to Timberlake Village (Chapters 3 and 10), Idealia's traditional summer retreat. There, people come to the most abundant fishery in the world and take special lessons from Wilburn Baldridge, the land's legendary angler. Summer is when the children climb on top of trees, pitch tents on makeshift campgrounds, sing, dance, shoot bows and arrows, and play the new game of boogers (to be detailed later in the week). The adults have barbeques and come to an amphitheater to hear traditional performances of country, bluegrass, and gospel music.

FALL
It is now time to plant the grain crops. There is always a bumper crop of everything, and a large storehouse is kept next to the barn to help keep all the plants stored. None of the grain products are used to make alcohol, as the family has a strict no-alcohol policy. Instead, the corn extract is used for a syrup sweetener similar to that from the maple trees, and the barley is used as an ingredient for bread.

A round robin harvest festival takes place on the land every October. During this time, the Barefoots host other families for a few hours, and in turn the family visits other nearby farms to celebrate the harvest and exchange food and other items. The closest neighbors are the McLamb, Brookshire, Barnhill, and Spears families.

This is also the time that the local wildflowers are in bloom, creating a picture just like the one seen in pastoral art and the opening of Little House on the Prairie, among other places. Also, the loblolly pines shed their leaves and create a bright and colorful scene.

Hunting takes place both here and on other farms during the year. Most is done with bow and arrow, as in medieval times; guns are seldom used. The most targeted animals are deer, ducks, and turkeys.

WINTER
This is the "off season" on the Barefoot land. Freezing rain is common and even some snow on nearby slopes is not unheard of. The farm school is open for the younger residents, like Belinda Barefoot (chapter 3). Alonzo and the other farmers collect hay to give to the animals to avoid starvation.

This is also the busiest time for the local slaughterhouse, which supplements the hunting that is done earlier. Cattle, chicken, and hogs are killed using the most humane methods possible, although the residents wear blindfolds as a precaution. Much of the meat ends up in the icebox, but some is eaten immediately.

Apology and preview

Revised June 20, 2009 and again Sep. 15, 2012

Early this morning, I made a post called "The ultimate playlist" which included some songs that are from local artists; that is, of Idealian origin. However, most of this material was too repetitive, and after second thought I decided to delete it from the blog. I also deleted a picture of an iPod that went along with the deleted post.

Now, here is where I plan to take this blog in the coming week:

• Buddy Wayne Barefoot may be a world-famous sports and entertainment star, but even he has farm chores. What are they and how does he pull them off?
• Remember when sports and games were not only played by kids, but made up by them, too? I introduce you to a new game called boogers and spitballs, or boogers for short, and reintroduce you to blithe innocence.

Idealia meets reality TV

First, I want to apologize for the lack of activity over the last week. I have been busy finishing classes at the ABC Adult School. During the evening, I have continued to share the computer with my parents, cutting into my time.

But now the classes are over and now I have much more time to devote to my work. This summer will be fun and interesting!


One of my guilty pleasures is reality television, especially the kind in which there is competition for some sort of prize. Whether it's a recording contract, a new job, or simply bragging rights, these contestants will do just about anything to win.

Two posts ago, I discussed American Idol and even presented a "top 12" to compete alongside the show's real singers. Now, I turn my attention to other reality-type game shows. Throughout my book, there are characters who would put the reality wannabes to shame. They also have the aura of authenticity that the rest of the cast would not have.

Here are the rest of my "game opera" (hat tip: Steve Beverly, Union University) all-star team.

• America's Got Talent: Think Sarah Boyle was the hottest thing going? Wait until she is challenged by the likes of magician Brett Bartlett, jump-rope R&B singers McPitter and McPatter, bagpiper Kimberly MacMootry, and the jazz group Three Hot Mikes. The first three can be found on page 116 and the last on pages 193 and 194. (OK, so Boyle was on Britain's Got Talent. As NASCAR crew chief Larry McReynolds says, "Same but different.")
• America's Next Top Model: The inspirational story of BooTeasha Baltimore is told on pages 95-97. She rose from poverty in Mississippi to represent beauty and self-determination by modeling clothes she made herself from scratch. I could have also put her on Project Runway, but I feel that ANTM is the more challenging show for her because she has to learn to be "fierce" - probably a word for inner toughness - on that program.
• Dancing with the Stars: Brandon McLamb (chapters 2 and 9) is so enamored with fame that he goes from publicizing stars to joining them in competition! His preferred partner is Julianne Hough, but if Hough is about to leave the show again to focus on country music, he's willing to settle for Lacey Schwimmer.
  
• Hell's Kitchen: Rhonda Wolfeschlagelsteinhausenbergerdorff (page 116) is just what the show needs. She faces the unenviable task of listening to all the shrillness of Gordon Ramsay, but she does it with a smile. Not only that, Rhonda could help all the other contestants calm down.
• So You Think You Can Dance: Michaelanne Muellerleile (page 30) has a Hollywood-type name ("related" to Marianne, who really exists) and a ballet background.
  
• Survivor: Wilburn Baldridge, who I mention briefly in chapter 13, represents all those who live off the land in Idealia; he would be apt to place in the hostile environments used on this program. However, his chances could be sabotaged if he is too honest and gracious in playing the game. (Coincidence: one of the show's editors is named Brian Barefoot. No kidding. If you have a tape of the show, stop and look for the credits.)
• The Amazing Race: Laura and Heather Boogerberger, who debut on page 101, would be perfect for this show. The twins ("pictured" with this post) can make history, as no team of two females have ever won the race and the $1 million grand prize that goes along with it. Even if they don't win, they would be great ambassadors from the ideal world to the real world, and that as they say is priceless.
  
• The Bachelor: I put Dylan Bryan-Brown in federal prison at the end of my book, but then he gets out on good behavior and part of his "community service" is finding one of 25 women to share the rest of his life with. I hope this goes better than just about every other season of this program.

I will not cast Big Brother since the show is low-quality and full of aspiring actors who have turned it into improvisational theater. There are other shows, but they are on little-watched cable/satellite networks, are highly specialized, or both.

What do you think of this post or any of my others so far? Please click the comments link and let me know. Keep it clean, please.

Welcome!

This is the new "official" site of the people, events, and concepts as shown in the book The Buddy Wayne Chronicles by Desmond Hobson. It is, as mentioned above, their continuing story.

For more information or to order the book, visit the Amazon.com page.

There is also buddywaynebarefoot.com, which is the original publicity site for the book. It also contains additional content on selected characters, and a supplemental blog maintained by the author, called "The Reality Check Blog." That blog is not affiliated with Blogger.


If you are not familiar with the book, here's the story:
Buddy Wayne Barefoot is a typical Southern country boy who loved NASCAR racing and country music, among other things. In an unprecedented career, he wins both the NASCAR championship and a number of music awards. But his life becomes burdened and he looks for an escape.

One night, after a TV show he hosts, called My Ideal World, he boards a charter plane. It is involved in a bizarre accident and Buddy lands amidst the clouds in a section of Heaven called Idealia. (In fact, this was to be idealia.blogspot.com, but that was already taken.) There he discovers a strange land of rural living and pre-modern technology. However, Buddy realizes that this is where he wanted to be all along! The reasons are, among other things, the relaxed pace and timeless family values.

The rest of the book includes a visit with his best friend, Bubba Ray Lumpkin, a romance with a bluegrass singer curiously named Brittany Spears, cousin Bunky and his plans to remake Idealia with the help of a real-estate mogul; and one final auto race in which all his dreams may well come true.