Friday, October 26, 2012

B.W. on family social activities


In this post, I will share with you what we consider to be our "boys nights out" and "girls nights out."  These social nights are essential to re-connecting the family relationships we had not had for years, if ever in some cases.

The older women - Brenda, Jennifer, Annie, Hambone, and Brandy -
all come together twice a week in quilting bees.  There, they are carrying on a tradition that is uniquely American: making something special out of just a little cloth.  After all, what's being made is not just quilts, blankets, and pillowcases - it's an expression of their lives, good and bad.  Another thing they're good at: gossip.  Plenty of it.  There's so much of it, they often forget their bedtimes.:) (Pictured is a re-creation of a colonial-era quilting bee in Michigan.)



As for us, the older men, it's more like days out.  Several times a week,
we go on hunting and fishing trips.  More than just gathering food, it's our time to tell our family stories past and present.  Oh, and since we're men, we often compete to get the biggest trophy animal, catch the biggest fish, or have the most accurate shot.  During the night, we eat, drink, and are merry, though of course tomorrow we don't die.  (Not all clichés are correct, thankfully.) (Pictured is one of my Facebook friends, Adam Brister, with a trophy buck.)





 But the big social occasions for us are on Mondays and Thursdays, when we socialize in the common room:
  • Talent shows show our diverse passions, some of which I have already discussed.  As for me, I give full-length guitar concerts with all my favorite songs, like the worldwide hits "Bluebird" and "Southern Rhapsody," as well as "The Ballad of Beulah Mae," "Poor Ol' Mule," and dozens of other songs I've written over the years.  My relatives are still amazed that these are the same songs that I used to perform all over the world in front of much-larger crowds (and which sold millions of copies and won me major awards).
  • Games are of all kinds, including card, dice, and board.  My personal favorite is bunco, since all you do is throw dice all day.  Popeye is the best at these games, and all of us would love to know the secret to his success.  He insists that there isn't any.
  • Most of all, what we do is just "shoot the breeze," or talk to each other.  It could be about anything one can think of: our daily lives, what our kids learned in school, the catch of the day, the mail we received with the latest news, even reminiscences of our past (which we can now be completely honest about, now that the White Throne Judgment has happened, ridding us of all the "bad" people and thoughts).

Granted, it's harder for us to have to entertain ourselves, instead of relying on TV, the Internet, and other modern methods.  But we have found it more satisfying, and now we would have it no other way.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Time machine trivia answers

It's been 24 hours since I posted the answers to my time machine trivia test.  Click on this link if you missed the questions; now, here are the answers:

1. YES.  The first known pizza recipes were created in Italy around the 17th century.  The first pizzeria in U.S., Lombardi's, opened in New York City in 1910.  The popularity of the pie spread after World War II when American soldiers, sailors, and airmen fell in love for it.
2. NO.  Television was still experimental in the 1930s, commercial networks didn't launch in America until after World War II, and I Love Lucy itself didn't debut until 1951.
3. NO.  Although souped-up cars used to transport moonshine past pursuing police officers were commonly used in the 1930s - and organized races around bull rings may well have taken place in the '30s and were certainly known by 1941 - the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing was not organized until 1947.  Its "Strictly Stock" division, now the Sprint Cup Series, debuted on June 19, 1949, in Charlotte, NC.  Jim Roper was the first race winner.
4. YES.  John Loud patented the first ballpoint pen in 1888.  However, the first truly popular model, Bic, did not reach the U.S. market until 1946.
5. NO.  Milton Bradley did not introduce the game until 1966.
6. YES.  "Flappers," young, headstrong, short-haired women, were popularized in the 1920s, and all products mentioned were available at that time.
7. YES.  A&W, the most common ingredient in root beer floats, was introduced in 1919.  (And if Brenda wanted to fill those floats with something else, Coca-Cola [1886] and Pepsi [1897] were also available.)

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Time machine trivia test

As I've written, the world of Idealia is based on the rural South as someone would have discovered it in the 1930s, when electricity and roads broke the isolation of the region.  In that vein, here are a few statements about everyday life in the Barefoot household.  For each, guess whether or not these could have happened, based on when the items mentioned in the statement were invented or introduced.

Think about these and I'll give the answers in the next post.

1. Lauren Pizzoli, Brandy and Bunky's mother, mails a recipe for homemade pizza to Brenda from her new home in Italy.  B.W.'s mother then begins to hunt for the ingredients to replicate it at home.
2. After dinner, Hambone puts on a red wig and acts out the "Vitameatavegamin" and candy-store skits from the hit television show I Love Lucy.  Everyone doubles over in laughter and finds it hard to go to sleep at the normal time.
3. B.W. hears about a new sport called NASCAR Strictly Stock Racing and asks the Brookshire family to send him a model dirt track and car set.
4. Popeye gets a ballpoint pen in the mail from the friendly postman, Mr. Blackshire.  He immediately dumps the quill pen because the ballpoint is more convenient for him.
5. A wild game of Twister involving the whole family is won by Harvey, who uses the flexibility he developed as a high-school wrestler.
6. B.W. allows Hambone and Brandy to use the common room to host a "flapper party," as long as sparkling cider is used instead of champagne and thin toilet paper is used instead of cigarettes.
7. As a result of a long day on the farm, Brenda decides to combine the dinner drink with dessert, introducing ice cream floats to the menu.  Of course, the kids love it!

Friday, October 19, 2012

B.W.: My day with the adorable Bryson


A few weeks ago, I wrote about my interesting relationship with Bryson.  Here's more about what a typical day with my younger brother - for whom I'm also a "father figure" - is like.

When I first saw Bryson, I frankly didn't know what to expect.  Would he be an idiot incapable of learning anything, like someone who is severely autistic?  Or would he grow up as quickly as anyone else who is seven years old?  The only way to find out is to spend time with him and live through our lives together.

The first things I noticed about him were his boundless energy and bubbly personality.  When he says something - especially his new signature catch phrase "Am I a good country boy?" - it's in a strong but beautiful voice.  I'm convinced that, if he wanted to be a singer, he would make a pretty good one!

The same energy applies in everything else he does.  When Bryson sees a school book - he attends the same Crabtree schoolhouse as his niece Belinda - he starts reading it eagerly.  He has also joined a prank group called the Rotten Rascals, with schoolmates Oliver "Poo Poo" Brayboy, Rebecca "Ladybug" Beavers, "Sweet" William Crabtree, and Bloodworth Spikes.  On the day I came, they greeted Miss Crabtree with a huge string of bubble gum they had placed in a spray bottle!  I thought the Rascals would be punished for that, but Miss Crabtree just smiled and moved on.  After all, why would she go after her own son?

Because of his age and special circumstances, he does not help that much on the farm, even during the peak season.  I will hand him some hay and animal feed so he can help feed the mules, goats, and cows, so he does learn some responsibility that way.  He spends most of his summer days on top of the treehouse Harvey built for the little kids.

Each night at about 8 o'clock, I read stories to Bryson in his bedroom.  They are all kinds of stories from all different sources, including some I have made up.  (One example of the latter, involving bears and wolves, can be found in the book in, I think, Chapter 8. - D.H.)

To sum up, Bryson has learned so quickly that no one on the outside can tell that he had to restart life from scratch.  In addition, he's the playful little brother I never had before, and as I wrote earlier, I look forward to every moment I spend with him.:)

Thursday, October 18, 2012

B.W. - Best singer in the world!

I keep finding new things to report about my character as time progresses.

Earlier, I wrote about his success at winning the Grammy Awards.  Well, B.W. has also won multiple other honors in the music business, including the American Music Awards, Country Music Association Awards, and the Academy of Country Music Awards.

But his most unique honor, I would have him winning in 2009, coincidentally in the year of his 30th birthday.  (That was before the Rapture, the Second Coming, and the eventual "reset" in his age to 22.)  That year, he won Sing for the World, sort of an Olympics for recording artists.  It would also be an expanded version of the Eurovision Song Contest, which dates back to the mid-1950s.

B.W. began by auditioning with hundreds of other performers in Nashville, one of 10 audition cities.  He grabbed one of the four automatic qualifying positions and, along with eight wild card acts, came to the live shows at CBS Television City in Los Angeles.  Three rounds of competition cut the field in half each time, until six acts were reduced to two for the finale at Nokia Theater L.A. Live in downtown L.A.  In the finale, B.W. won the public vote over Blondie, not the new-wave rock band, but rather a versatile pianist who can play pop, classical, and ragtime songs equally well.  (I once had a post about Blondie but have unfortunately deleted it.  However, her "picture" - actually that of British TV personality Nadine Coyne - is on the right.)  Oh, and the national title is not all he won: it was there that he proposed to "Bluegrass" Brittany Spears, who accepted on the live televised finale.

He then competed against singers who won similar national competitions in 41 other countries on six continents, at a temporary 30,000-seat stadium at Liberty State Park in New Jersey.  B.W. got a bye into the final 20, when he performed "Bluebird" in front of a raucous, patriotic crowd.  After a process combining judges' scores and viewer votes from around the world (but not for himself from the U.S.), he was declared the champion!  Australian teenager Hayley McBroom was the runnerup, and German singer Melanie "Little Miss B" Blankenschneider was the "bronze medalist."

From that point, he embarked on a world tour for the rest of 2009 and the first half of 2010, performing over 110 concerts in 84 cities worldwide.  Here is a list of those concerts, with opening acts:

Audrey DeBoeuf (France winner), Laura diBoccabella (Italy winner), Jorge Labat (Spain winner)
  • Oct. 8&9, 2009 - Paris, Palais Omnisports Paris-Bercy
  • Oct. 12, 2009 - Madrid, Palacio Vistalegre
  • Oct. 13, 2009 - Barcelona, Palau Sant Jordi
  • Oct. 15&16, 2009 - Milan, Mediolanum Forum
  • Oct. 18&19, 2009 - Rome, PalaLottomatica
Sherri Picinich (auditioned in the U.S., of Italian and Croatian heritage)
  • Oct. 22, 2009 - Athens, O.A.C.A. Olympic Indoor Hall
  • Oct. 24, 2009 - Istanbul, Sinan Erdem Dome
  • Oct. 26, 2009 - Belgrade, Kombank Arena
  • Oct. 27, 2009 - Zagreb, Arena Zagreb
  • Oct. 30&31, 2009 - Vienna, Wiener Stadhalle
NOTE: Holly Harpootlian (US top 48, of Armenian descent) was originally announced for these stops, but withdrew when the tour stop in Istanbul was revealed.  She was denied a visa to enter Turkey, possibly due to a lingering political controversy over the killing of two million Armenians by Turks in the 1920s in a genocide still not recognized by the U.S. government.  The slot was next offered to Greek-American singer Ronald Lipidakis, who was a quarterfinalist in Australia, but he declined possibly for similar reasons.
Melanie Blankenschneider (Germany winner), Lauren Bendykowski (U.S. quarterfinalist of Polish heritage)
  • Nov. 2, 2009 - Lausanne, BASF Place
  • Nov. 4&5, 2009 - Cologne, Lanxess Arena
  • Nov. 6, 2009 - Hannover, TUI Arena
  • Nov. 8&9, 2009 - Hamburg, O2 World
  • Nov. 11,12,13, 2009 - Berlin, O2 World
  • Nov. 15, 2009 - Prague, O2 Arena
Erik Lindenberg (Sweden winner)
  • Nov. 18, 2009 - Copenhagen, Parken Arena
  • Nov. 20&21, 2009 - Stockholm, Ericsson Globe
  • Nov. 22, 2009 - Helsinki, Hartwall Areena
Shakespeare's Piper (UK winner), Jelani Aromashodu (UK 3rd place)
  • Nov. 26, 2009 - Belfast, Odyssey Arena
  • Nov. 27, 2009 - Dublin, The O2 World
  • Nov. 29&30, 2009 - Cardiff, Motorpoint Arena Cardiff
  • Dec. 2&3, 2009 - Birmingham, LG Arena
  • Dec. 4&5, 2009 - Manchester, Manchester Arena
  • Dec. 7, 2009 - Glasgow, Scottish Entertainment and Conference Centre
  • Dec. 8, 2009 - Newcastle, Metro Radio Arena
  • Dec. 10,11,13, 2009 - London, The O2 Arena
Samantha Van Melle (Netherlands winner)
  • Dec. 16, 2009 - Antwerp, Sportpaleis
  • Dec. 17, 2009 - Rotterdam, Ahoy Rotterdam
Mauricio Bloemheim (Brazil winner)
  • Jan. 22,23,24, 2010 - Rio de Janeiro, HSBC Arena
 Los Crazie Cats (Mexico winner)
  • Jan. 15,16,18,19, 2010 - Mexico City, Palacio de los Deportes
Carly Pineda (top-48 US, native of Puerto Rico), Blondie (US 2nd place)
  • Jan. 29&30, 2010 - San Juan, José Miguel Agrelot Coliseum
Blondie (US 2nd place), Blinky Blink (US 3rd place), Bird & Fly (US semifinalists)
  • Mar. 5&6, 2010 - Chicago, United Center
  • Mar. 8, 2010 - Saint Paul, Xcel Energy Center
  • Mar. 10, 2010 - Detroit, Joe Louis Arena
McMulkin Brothers (Canada winner), Blondie
  • Mar. 12, 2010 - Toronto, Air Canada Centre
  • Mar. 14, 2010 - Montreal, Bell Centre
Blondie, Blinky Blink, Bird & Fly
  • Mar. 16, 2010 - Boston, TD Garden
  • Mar. 17, 2010 - Newark, Prudential Center
  • Mar. 19&20, 2010 - New York, Madison Square Garden
  • Mar. 22, 2010 - Philadelphia, Wachovia Center1
  • Mar. 23, 2010 - Washington, DC, Verizon Center
  • Mar. 24, 2010 - Pittsburgh, Mellon Arena2
  • Mar. 26, 2010 - Cleveland, Quicken Loans Arena
  • Mar. 28, 2010 - Cincinnati, US Bank Arena
  • Mar. 30&31, 2010 - Nashville, Bridgestone Arena
  • Apr. 2, 2010 - Raleigh, RBC Center3
  • Apr. 3, 2010 - Charlotte, Time Warner Cable Arena
  • Apr. 5, 2010 - Atlanta, Philips Arena
  • Apr. 6, 2010 - Tampa, St. Pete Times Forum4
  • Apr. 8, 2010 - Fort Lauderdale, BankAtlantic Center
  • Apr. 11, 2010 - New Orleans, New Orleans Arena
  • Apr. 12, 2010 - Houston, Toyota Center
  • Apr. 14, 2010 - Dallas, American Airlines Center
  • Apr. 15, 2010 - Kansas City, MO, Sprint Center
  • Apr. 17, 2010 - Denver, Pepsi Center
  • Apr. 19, 2010 - Salt Lake City, EnergySolutions Arena
  • Apr. 20&21, 2010 - Las Vegas, MGM Grand Garden
  • Apr. 22, 2010 - Glendale, AZ, Jobing.com Arena
  • Apr. 23, 2010 - Los Angeles, Staples Center
  • Apr. 24, 2010 - Anaheim, Honda Center
  • Apr. 26, 2010 - San Jose, HP Pavilion at San Jose
  • Apr. 27, 2010 - Oakland, Oracle Arena
  • Apr. 30, 2010 - Portland, OR, Rose Garden
  • May 1, 2010 - Tacoma, Tacoma Dome
Harpootlian (see above) performed one song each in Los Angeles and Anaheim in addition to the official program.
McMulkin Brothers, Blinky Blink
  • May 3&4, 2010 - Vancouver, General Motors Place5
  • May 6, 2010 - Calgary, Scotiabank Saddledome
  • May 8, 2010 - Winnipeg, MTS Centre
Hayley McBroom (Australia winner), Ronan Rummerfield (New Zealand winner)
  • Jun. 7, 2010 - Auckland, Vector Arena
  • Jun. 10,11,12, 2010 - Sydney, Allphones Arena
  • Jun. 14, 2010 - Brisbane, Brisbane Entertainment Centre
  • Jun. 18&19, 2010 - Melbourne, Rod Laver Arena
  • Jun. 21, 2010 - Adelaide, Adelaide Arena
  • Jun. 23&24, 2010 - Perth, Burswood Dome
Eddie Kwok (Hong Kong winner), Ramon Mangubat (Philippines winner)
  • Jun. 27&28, 2010 - Singapore, Singapore Indoor Stadium
  • Jun. 30&Jul. 1, 2010 - Quezon City, Smart Araneta Coliseum
  • Jul. 3&4, 2010 - Hong Kong, AsiaWorld-Arena
  • Jul. 6&7, 2010 - Shanghai, Mercedes-Benz Arena
  • Jul. 9, 2010 - Beijing, Beijing National Indoor Stadium
  • Jul. 12, 2010 - Saitama, Saitama Super Dome
  • Jul. 14,15,16, 2010 - Tokyo, Nippon Budokan
  • Jul. 19&20, 2010 - Seoul, Jamsil Arena
Wilhelmina Derbyshire (South Africa winner)
  • Jul. 25,26,27, 2010 - Johannesburg, StandardBank Arena
  • Jul. 31, 2010 - Dubai, Plaza at Burj Khalifa
  • Aug. 2, 2010 - Tel Aviv, Nokia Arena
1 Now known as Wells Fargo Arena
2 Since imploded
3 Now known as PNC Arena

4 Now known as Tampa Bay Times Forum
5 Now known as Rogers Arena

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Where my character names came from

The following is the origin of the 13 names that I have applied to the Barefoot family characters.

Alfred Wayne "Buddy" Barefoot was the given name of Buddy Wayne Barefoot.  When BellSouth (now part of AT&T) put his name in a 1993 phone book, it was transposed to Buddy Wayne (and I later encountered it in a directory published by ProCD).  He died in 1998 at age 44.  According to a personal e-mail I received from Deb Holmes, who ran the website wemightbekin.com, he committed suicide.  The full obituary can be found in this PDF file.  The obituary of Randall Carrington Lee on this PDF file lists his name as "Buddy Wayne Barefoot."

This PDF file was also the source of Annie's, Ralph's, Harvey's, and Reba Pearl's names.  Annie died in 1959 at age 76, Ralph died in 2004 at age 64, Harvey at age 79 in 2006, and Reba Pearl at age 71 in 2003.

Britton Lee Barefoot came from John "Bubba" Britton, the "face" of B.W., and I came up with the middle name on my own. (Coincidentally, this is also the name of the real Ralph Barefoot's late father.)  "Bunky" is a common nickname in coastal areas from Maryland to South Carolina.  As for his sister Brandy, that was straight out of my head; as was Belinda.

Alonzo, Brenda and Bobby Ray came from the same ProCD directory at which I found B.W.'s name.  Bryson was an actor whose name I found at IMDb, unfortunately, the site has delisted it for some reason.  Jennifer (full name Jennifer Jill Barefoot) came from Jennifer Jill White, who has worked as a production assistant for MTV.


Some more odds and ends

  • On Sunday night, I created a custom map using Google Maps showing where Buddy Wayne Barefoot grew up, went to school, and went to church, and even gave his first public performance.  You can find it here.
  • Here's a rough order of my next three Friday "first-person" postings: following Buddy Wayne for a day with his long-lost brother, Bryson; a "girls' day out" with the older women; and B.W.'s trip to a leadership conference (the last to tie in with the upcoming presidential and other elections in the United States).

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Overnight Friday/Saturday bonus post

I found two interesting things recently:

  • This blog is the fourth site based on my BWB character that has been online.  The first two - hosted by Go.com and Webspawner - are sadly lost to history.  But the third one has been preserved by the Internet Archive, and here's what it looked like on one spring day in 2008.

  • One of my avatars (that of Brandy Nicole Barefoot) is college student Amanda Barefoot.  When she won Miss Benson in 2010, one of her obligations was to, let's say, get intimate with the symbolic animal of Benson Mule Days.  To paraphrase Katy Perry, "I kissed a mule and I liked it!"  Here's the pictorial proof of the stunt.

Makin' music with my friends (and family)

The post title is adapted from a lyric of "On the Road Again," a hit song by Willie Nelson recorded in 1980. - D.H.

It goes without saying that music is very important in my life.  In my past world, I sold over 40 million albums and won 11 Grammy awards.  I have made it clear that, despite all my different and obvious talents, that acoustic country guitar is my first love.  Now, I am sharing that love with the other older males in the family.

Popeye, Ralph, Harvey, and Bobby Ray have started the Barefoot Boys, a vocal quartet specializing in Southern gospel songs.  They debuted recently at our family church service in the common room, and plan to travel around Idealia as itinerant performers.

That my brother, one of my uncles, and two of my cousins should form this group should come as no surprise.  Our hometown of Benson, NC annually stages one of biggest events in Southern gospel music, the Gospel Singing Convention.  Every June, dozens of groups come to the Singing Grove in our town to share their love of sacred (mostly Baptist or Methodist) music and to compete for prizes.  In fact, as this article shows, someone named Barefoot was one of the five "founding fathers" of this event.  Between us, we have attended the event many times.  Oh and one more thing: My first public concert appearance was during a break in this competition when I was eight years old.

I have spent a lot of time with them recently as an unofficial vocal coach, ensuring that they sound professional.  Their lack of experience is more than made up for by their enthusiasm and love of music.  In my mind, there is no doubt that the Barefoot Boys will succeed as they share their love of the Trinity through music.

UPDATE 1/1/2013 - Bobby Ray has left the Barefoot Boys, cutting the group from a quartet to a trio.  Bobby Ray told his brother Buddy Wayne that he had lost his enthusiasm, and both had agreed that he just wasn't talented enough.




Speaking of music, Hambone had her first public performance not too long ago in the common room.  She had a mixture of traditional songs passed down through the generations and contemporary hit songs like "Rollin' in the Deep."  As I saw her perform, I saw a combination of fascination and pride.  I didn't know that making music just with one's body could be that much fun!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Favorite Halloween costume

This is the time of year when millions of people prepare to celebrate Halloween.  Theme parks across North America, including "Knotts Scary Farm" about 10 miles from my home, have started special holiday events as they find ways to spook and entertain their customers.  On Oct. 31 itself, parents everywhere will welcome children of all ages into their homes for the traditional distribution of candy and good cheer.

So I asked my characters what their favorite holiday costumes and activities were - or still are.

Popeye: When I grew up, Davey Crockett [the Appalachian folk hero] was popular on TV.  So I had his entire getup, complete with coonskin cap and 18th-century rifle.
Bobby Ray: I didn't have a favorite costume; I looked scary enough as it was.:)  But I do remember my favorite activity: bobbing for apples.
Annie: An angel.
Belinda: Alice, from [Alice's Adventure in Wonderland].
Buddy Wayne: I was a soldier in the U.S. Army, complete with a patch with my name on it.  I felt like a real American hero, which of course they are!
Harvey: I loved to be a vampire.  Of course, no one much liked them back then.
Brenda: I was usually a colonial girl, but one year I was Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm and loved it.
Jennifer: Little Bo Peep.
Bryson: I'm a cowboy!
Bunky: Bond. James Bond.
Brandy: I wore various costumes every year when the [Carolina] Hurricanes had their theme night for Halloween.  The one I remember the most was when I was Reese Witherspoon as Scarlett O'Hara in a re-imagined version of Gone With the Wind.
Hambone: Hate to say this, but...a bitch.  Literally, I was a female dog.  Don't ask me how that happened.
Ralph: Elvis Presley.  Thank you, thank you very much.

(This is another thing I did on my new best friend, Adobe Photoshop.  The patch is that of Laura Barefoot O'Donnell, a crafter, from a blog that has since been taken offline.  As for the "uniform," thanks to Brittany Barefoot of Greenwood, SC, for putting that on her Facebook page.)

Sunday, October 7, 2012

My "Biddy" and her remarkable backstory

While updating the Barefoot family profiles, I came across a reference I made to Mary Elizabeth McBiddlewhiskers.  She is the guardian angel God put in charge of Idealia.  Her responsibilities include assigning family members to their proper location, arranging for the objects they will need, and keeping watch over any places that are left vacant, usually as a result of distant trips for work or holidays.

The person I would have playing "Biddy" is Marianne Muellerleile.  She may well be the best actress you've never heard of.  In a career spanning over 30 years, Muellerleile has had bit parts in scores of movies, television shows, and commercials.  In my estimation, she has deserved better.  Her unusual name and great sense of humor should have made her a huge sitcom or comedic movie star, but the opportunities just never came.

You can see her complete career history here.

Friday, October 5, 2012

What it means to have the Barefoot name

Buddy Wayne gives his thoughts on his family's name and what it means to him in this posting. - D.H.

"English: nickname for someone who was in the habit of going about his business unshod, from Old English bær ‘bare’, ‘naked’ + fot ‘foot’. It may have referred to a peasant unable to afford even the simplest type of footwear, or to someone who went barefoot as a religious penance..."
 - Dictionary of American Family Names, Oxford University Press, ISBN 0-19-508137-4 via ancestry.com, on what the last name Barefoot means
"No matter how poor you are, if you've got family, you're always rich."
 - Robbie "Sweetie Pie" Montgomery, restaurant owner and reality TV star
"It feels better barefoot.  We're in the country.  That's how we do it."
 - Employee at convenience store frequented by reality TV phenomenon Honey Boo Boo (Meka?)1

Although the last name we share has such a negative connotation in so many ways, we are proud of it.  That's why I have asked everyone to go shoeless throughout the house, and even in some public settings.  Also, I have encouraged our family to spend their break times in the meadow on the south end of our property or at the side of our pond so we can go to the most appropriate settings for our name.  The feeling of the grass or the sand beneath our feet is good!

Since I moved to Idealia, people have wondered how I could be so happy with living with such a very low standard of living compared to what I had before.  They are still stunned that someone with three NASCAR championships and many music awards could live the way I do now, on an obvious trip back in time.  Here's how I answer the question: As hard as this place is, as much as I miss some of the things of modern life, if I could ask for any place to be at any time in history, this is exactly it.  I get to live off the land, use my imagination, learn new skills, and most importantly of all meet new people and learn more about the relatives I already have. 

Sweetie Pie is right: life should be measured in what you have, not how much you have.  I should add that it should also be measured by how happy you are.  Heaven is a place of guaranteed happiness, health, and well-being, and none of us are taking the place for granted.

That's it for me, until next time.

Pictured: Elizabeth Carol Mason, mother of my Facebook friend Deb Holmes, in a childhood photo taken in 1943.

See also this posting from namesake Darren Barefoot with more detailed information and this alternate name theory, which has nothing to do with bare feet.

1 However, in the scene in question, Boo Boo herself is not barefoot; instead it is her sister Lauryn.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Meet the McLambs

Here are the 18 members of the McLamb family that are in rivalry with the Barefoot family that was discussed in the previous post.  This is also a large residence with three parts.





The western residence has mother Gaynell, father Linwood, daughters Shayla (Buddy Wayne Barefoot's first wife; see chapters 10 and 11) and Shawnelle, and sons Coy Lee and Charlie.








In the middle are father Jerald Dean, mother Burlene, their son Brandon (Barefoot's longtime friend), and their daughter Brianna (first syllable is pronounced like "dry," not like the usual "free").









Finally, three generations share the dwelling on the east side: grandma Lula Mae and grandpa Willard; their daughters Rachel and Rebecca; Rebecca's husband Ronnie Dale; and their daughters Laura, Lindsay, and LaRayne.








Avatars: "Shayla" is former high-school softball player Brittany Black; "Brianna" is country-music singer Brittany McLamb; and "LaRayne" is Bella Dye, a 3-year-old girl from Bakersfield, CA.

Friendly rivals: Barefoot-McLamb relations


Red Sox vs. Yankees.  Celtics vs. Lakers.  Real Madrid vs. Barcelona.  Coke vs. Pepsi.

Now add Barefoot vs. McLamb to the list of great rivalries.

Both families have a shared history in the same region of North Carolina - where Johnston, Sampson, and Harnett counties intersect - for well over a century.  And now it carries over to Idealia.  However, Brandon McLamb, Buddy Wayne Barefoot's longtime friend and former publicist, insists that the rivalry is good-natured. 

"No matter how much we talk about hating each other, in the end we call it a day and shake hands.  Of course, we love to boast about who wears the better clothes, catch the most fish, or who would win a massive balloon fight, but in the end, we know our limits.  After all, we couldn't kill ourselves - literally - even if we wanted to."

Even in the pre-Idealian period, members of both families were often friends and even married each other, so it doesn't surprise the bearers of those names that they share a lot in common.  Today, the relationship continues on the same path: their homesteads are across the road from each other and there's even talk of one day building a land bridge for easier access.

With that being said, there are points of tension between the clans.  Shayla McLamb was B.W.'s first wife, and their marriage was well-awaited by both families and highly publicized due to the groom's celebrity.  However, when B.W. found "Bluegrass" Brittany Spears more attractive, Shayla was quickly dumped, feels scorned to this day, and has rallied her family against the Barefoots.  In addition, B.W. had to forgive Brandon McLamb for writing the script for Last Night in Vegas, a post-Armageddon motion picture that was supposed to be a tool for youth ministry but which turned into a highly secular film with a soundtrack culled from songs on contemporary hit radio stations.

Nonetheless, some have used pranks to lighten the mood.  Bunky Barefoot is notorious for putting Jell-O and eggs on top of beds in the McLamb household, and Ronnie Dale McLamb often sends letters asking Barefoots to do impossible or ridiculous tasks.  "When I do those pranks, I feel really good," Bunky says.  "It helps take my mind off of the enormous task of trying to adapt to not living a modern life."

Every first Saturday in July, the families come together for the Barefoot-McLamb Block Party, for which B.W. Barefoot and Brandon McLamb are the co-organizers.  Activities include tree-climbing, belly flops off a waterfall, and mud bogging (used vehicles driven into a mud pit).  There are two buffet meals and a nighttime talent show, at which B.W. always has a starring role with a concert of his hit songs.  However, the highlight is the water balloon fight that involves every member of both families.  The winning team gets a trophy for one year.

"To have it in our house is the sweetest feeling in the world," says Ralph, who won it for his family in the most recent event with the winning toss.  "All those McLambs can do is look at it, as that's the closest to death they'll experience.  And if they had the trophy, we would feel the same way."  (Of course, Ralph says all that with a laugh.  Even all-family balloon fights aren't taken that seriously.)

The block party takes up the entire 300-acre combined area of the family estates and is a welcome day off in the midst of the farming season.

Avatar: "Brandon McLamb" is Matthew R. Barefoot, an oral surgeon in Savannah, GA.  Interestingly, Matthew Barefoot, like namesakes and fellow avatars Amanda (Brandy) and Justin (Harvey), have attended the University of North Carolina, Wilmington at various times.  And he has a common link to Brandy (Jennifer): Matthew earned his master of doctorate degree at the University of Alabama in Birmingham, while Brandy had a successful kidney transplant at UAB Medical Center in February 2012.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Roll sheet at Ms. Crabtree's one-room schoolhouse

Two weeks ago, I wrote about Shirley Mae Crabtree's one-room schoolhouse in the home and farm life post.  As a sidebar, here's the entire roster of 22 students who currently attend.  I've culled the last names from the Idealia post.
  • Belinda Marie BAREFOOT
  • Bryson Hoyt BAREFOOT
  • Hartley Rockwell BASS
  • Malinda Annabelle BATTLE
  • Michael Elijah BELK
  • Robinette Marie BLOW
  • Bonnie Elizabeth BOATWRIGHT
  • Oliver Alonzo BRAYBOY
  • Hannah Brooke (Brookie) BRICKHOUSE
  • Cody Joe BROOKSHIRE
  • Randy Dean BUFFALOE
  • Danny Mac BUTT
  • Mariah Claire CRABTREE
  • William John CRABTREE
  • Larry Wayne LEAK
  • Rebecca LaVaughn LIGHTFOOT
  • Lee Bob MCCLAMMY
  • Laura Elizabeth MCLAMB
  • Braylor Tripp MCPATTER
  • Peggy Ellen PEACOCK
  • Bobby Dwayne SMALLS
  • Billy Wayne TIMBERLAKE