Notice on updated page titles

Let me pause here to inform you that I have changed many of the page titles in my coverage of the bracket. They are now in a standard "headline" format, which is better than the generic look that was there before.

Unfortunately, Blogger did not change the URL addresses of the entries, which could cause some confusion. So pay special attention to the title of each post. If you plan to link the pages to and from other sites, please explain the discrepancies that may exist.

'Aptronyms' square off in Idealia bracket

This is the continuation of the Idealian character tournament, based on the format of the book The Final Four of Everything edited by Mark Reiter and Richard Sandomir.

The next two matches comprise a "mini-regional" with four people with names appropriate to their occupation. Paul Dickson, another author, has coined the term "aptronym" to describe them.


Brightful Birdsong vs. Barney Laughinghouse
As one would guess, the former is a singer and the latter is a comedian. Birdsong is another one of the land's great singers. He, like Aretha Franklin and Sam Cooke, has a background as a gospel singer before crossing over to rhythm and blues and soul. A major difference is that many of his songs are a cappella (that's without music if you're not familiar). I am not aware of any other singer who regularly sings solos in that style; that's understandable as one can imagine how highly difficult that would be. Laughinghouse is the star of a situation comedy on prime-time television. Like the 1950s hit The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, the entire Laughinghouse family is the star: husband Barney, wife LaDonna, children Blake, Danielle, and Bonnie Jean, and hunting dog Buster. Also, the family's real-life experiences are the centerpiece of the show, which is done in an improvisational style. Barney leads in the criteria of fulfilling a need in the real world: today, there are no family-themed sitcoms on any of the four major broadcast networks in the United States. (Sorry, The Simpsons and Family Guy fans, cartoons do not count.) In contrast, they were prevalent 20 years or so ago. But by another measure, singers are more valuable than comedians: American Idol is going strong after eight seasons, while Last Comic Standing was canceled after four. The deciding factor in the end is the public image associated with each name: a birdsong is beautiful, while a laughing house would be weird. Winner: Birdsong

Magdalena Babblejack vs. Stormie Gayle Blizzard
If you worked for a news department and a resume came across your desk with the name "Stormie Gayle Blizzard," you'd hire her, right? I thought so. If the anchor chair became empty and someone named "Magdalena Babblejack" wanted the job, can she have it? The answer is, well, maybe. The name "Babblejack" implies gossiper more than serious newscaster, so Blizzard wins easily, right? Think again. If Babblejack were hired by a major network, and if she was able to combine serious journalism with the force of personality - maybe Walter Cronkite and Katie Couric mashed together - she may be the future of television news. Oh, by the way, "Maggie" is from England, where the news culture is very diverse and rich, compared to the U.S. Besides, anchors get the big money, not meteorologists. Winner: Babblejack

Happy anniversary, Buddy!

The miraculous triumph of Buddy Wayne Barefoot in the Heritage Cup vintage-car race took place on this day. The event is scheduled for the Fourth of July - America's Independence Day - to honor the significance of families and to coincide with when the highest number of family reunions are held.

I also want to correct a point in the book which relates to the race: On page 205, I reported on what happened during the red-flag delay due to a strange use of the sprinkler system. I wrote that Bunky Barefoot (Crabtree) kissed a woman, and I reported that it was neither Laura or Heather, the twins that he was "married" to. I meant that he kissed one of the two, but due to their similarities it was not clear which one.

To read the whole story, see chapters 12 and 14, as well as part of chapter 13.

Columnist takes my side on celebrity

When The Buddy Wayne Chronicles was created, the idea was to present a new American folk hero to the public. He is a response to the artificial culture of celebrity that is the center of not just the entertainment world, but the lives of so many people.

I have always believed that the real heroes are our parents, friends, and anyone else who have certain qualities or who have done significant things to enhance our lives. This could include rescuing people from burning buildings, casting aside villainous enemies, or simply creating things of beauty that last forever. In that sense, Buddy Wayne Barefoot is in the world of celebrities, but not of it.

Unfortunately, there are too many famous people who got there the wrong way. That is, they either seek the spotlight or they have qualities that some people in the media think are important. We can forever debate, in chicken or egg style, whether those in the tabloid press either create the demand or simply react to it. What is certain is that the definitions of celebrity and hero have been blurred.

And it's not just me saying and writing this. In reaction to the recent death of Michael Jackson, Herbert London of Human Events magazine wrote a story which expresses the same concern. Here is that story.

On the website comment page, I wrote this:

"...[T]hank you, Herbert, for saying something that has been on my mind for a long time. Oh, if I could only go back to a time when real heroes were recognized and given what they deserved, and when people had to earn the privilege of being famous.

I also think that the breakdown of the family has a lot to do with the cheapening of celebrity. After all, mommy and daddy are the first real heroes in anyone's lives. If our children can't look up to them...well, let me give you the expression (and it's probably a paraphrase): "If one doesn't stand up for something, one will fall for anything."

Brittany Spears "interview"

This is something I have been looking toward for quite some time.

Brittany Raylene Spears is my second favorite character in The Buddy Wayne Chronicles, only behind the main character. As I have explained before, her appeal is based on a combination of a simple, old-fashioned life and the promise and flower of youth.

Although only a teenager, she is the lead singer of a band that performs a musical style as traditional as the Appalachian Mountains themselves. Her wholesome, down-to-earth behavior and her modest beauty has made her the poster child for bluegrass music.

She also shares the same name (at least as pronounced) as Britney Spears. But whereas Britney left behind her country roots for a career as a provocative pop singer, Brittany has stayed grounded. Besides, Brittany is a lot more talented!

Off stage, her romance with Buddy Wayne Barefoot is the talk of Idealia. Recently, the two have announced marriage plans, breaking a taboo barrier and fulfilling the dreams of both.

This "interview" is being conducted by another one of my new characters. Magdalena Babblejack is - what else? - a local reporter and gossip.


MB: Where are you from originally?
BS: My hometown is Beattyville, Kentucky, about 35 miles south of Lexington. It is in the beautiful bluegrass country by the foothills of the Appalachians.

MB: Is it safe to say that your family and your band are the same?
BS: Yes. My father Blanton and my brother Blanton, Jr. are both banjo players, my brother Bunch is on the mandolin, my brother Bradshaw is the fiddler, uncle [Blanton's brother] Brashears plays the washboard, and my sisters Blair and Bailey are dancers. My mom Rebecca is the manager and sews the clothes and dresses us.

MB: How many albums has the family made so far?
BS: We have made three albums as a group. The songs combine old classics [e.g. "Orange Blossom Special"] and original songs. One of [the original songs] is "Mad from the Moonshine," a cautionary tale about alcohol. I was the lead singer on that.

MB: Who made the decision for you to go solo?
BS: I have always wanted to go solo. And after a long and prayerful decision, that's what the family decided to do. As long as they always performed [backup music], my name would be on the album.

MB: Be honest. How much of your decision was based on the existence of Britney Spears?
BS: It weighed on me a lot. I looked at what the other Britney did, and I didn't like it. It just so happens that my name is Brittany, too. So I have always thought I was more talented that [she was], so I decided to go for it on that basis too.

MB: However, that decision led to a lot of booing at the start of your career [as detailed in Chapter 9]. How did you come to terms with it?
BS: I told myself to stay patient and to remind myself to pray. Eventually, God knows what is right and what is wrong, and I knew my faith would pull me through.

MB: Then you went on The Great Singing Showdown [the local version of American Idol; see this post for details of the competitors]. Believe it or not, you won that competition by winning the fan vote. This must be a great tribute as to how far you have come.
BS: Yes! I want to thank everyone who voted for me. Maybe a lot of people hated me at the start, but I won their respect as the weeks progressed. That's all you can ask for: to do your best and eventually the public will see your talent shine through.

MB: And you beat Buddy Wayne Barefoot, the heavy favorite!
BS: That's why I am so excited![Beaming] No one was supposed to be more popular than him in the fan balloting, but I was. What else can you say?

MB: How surprised were you at Mr. Barefoot's marriage proposal at the end of the show?
BS: Very much. After the failed try before [as noted in Chapters 9 and 11], I thought that it was never going to happen. To see that B.W. still has my heart, that is awesome!

MB: When and where is the marriage scheduled?
BS: The date is October 10. Probably at the Spears farm house. I'm the bride, so that was probably why.[Giggling]

MB: I want to go back to the show, in particular the finale. That was a funny scene in which you sang the Britney song "Circus," then had to run away and see the poster of the fake movie in which Debbie Harry plays Blondie. What was that like?
BS: It was a fun side of me that no one knew about. And no one knows it, but that was not Debbie's picture on the poster, it was "our" Blondie [the pianist]. And Bubba Brister and Matt McBriar were pretending to be football players and got the VIP treatment. The producers wanted us to have fun with our names because they were so many similarities, and that we did.

MB: What a story. You come to Idealia in a freak accident, endure the taunts of the fans, meet the big cheese at your biggest time of need, and now you will soon be man and wife. Good luck on everything, and thank you for your time.
BS: You're very welcome. Be well, Maggie.
MB: And the same to you. Goodbye.

See also: Britney vs. Brittany, a "tale of the tape" chart I did for my other site.

New Twitter account, upcoming content

In the personal tradition of adopting as much new Internet technology as possible, the author has opened a new Twitter account. For more information, and the contents of my first tweet, please see this site: http://twitter.com/bwbarefoot.

As for what's to come: an in-depth look at the Rebel X community of younger Idealians and an "interview" with the "other" Brittany Spears. I am especially looking forward to sharing more about my second-favorite character from the book. I love the Spears character because she represents how I am using Idealia to correct the injustices of the real entertainment world. I have always said that if Britney Spears had acted as wholesome and down-to-earth as her background from small-town Louisiana would suggest, then Brittany Spears would not have had to be contrived.

Boogers and spitballs

What are your memories of childhood? By far the favorite memory of so many is playtime. Maybe it was Little League baseball, or soccer tournaments, or school recess. Whatever it is, we associate fun with the innocence of the first years of our lives.

The reality is that kids' games are now run largely by and for adults. Whether it's the Little League World Series, the phenomenon of "soccer moms," the big money in action sports, or the pressure to become star athletes at ever-younger ages, youth sports and games aren't what they used to be.

But imagine for a moment if such innocence could come back, in a new game made by kids and for kids. And imagine if such innocent could last forever.

Imagine no more, as I have found such an activity in Buddy Wayne's ideal world.

It's called boogers and spitballs.


Who first thought of this game is unknown and immaterial, although the son of attorney Blackman Bibb (chapter 4) has been speculated as a possible source. What is known is that the children have taken over the game and have made sure that adults do not get involved in any way. However, I was nice enough to observe from a good distance and can report how it works.

The best way to describe it is a combination of marbles, dodgeball, and king of the hill. The object is to climb to the top of a high point, usually a low-lying rock or treetop, while avoiding hits from members of the opposing team. Usually, three to five players start a game, and of course players who are hit are eliminated. The last person standing and reaching the top wins for the team.

The name of the game comes from the two opposing sides: one team has small black balls called "boogers," and the other has small white balls called "spitballs." They got their name due to the resemblance of their physical descriptions.

Unlike the sports kids play in the real world, "boogers" is not highly organized, nor are the players divided by age, gender, or ability level. Anyone can play, and a game can break out at any time.

Boogers and spitballs. I would like to see kids in the real world try it sometime. And if they need more detailed rules, I'll help write them!


Pictured: Belinda Barefoot is one of those who regularly plays the game. She is the daughter of Bobby Ray Barefoot, Buddy Wayne's brother, and the former Amy Barbour.