A bunch of fake facts and another picture

With this post, I follow in the spirit of the latest chapter in the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series.  Instead of its usual fascinating facts, everything in that book was completely made up.  Of course, this makes it appropriate for a site like this, so here goes. - D.H.

• B.W.'s aunt Hambone has joined the cast of the 16th season of ABC's Dancing with the Stars, with partner Derek Hough.  As Hough has been the winning professional partner a record three times, Hambone is confident of her chances: "The combination of his instruction and the support of the Barefoot family should take me far in this competition," she told Good Morning America, also on ABC, on Feb. 26 when the cast was announced.  B.W. was reportedly approached by producers and the network, but insisted on bringing Julianne Hough (Derek's brother) out of retirement to be his partner.  Julianne refused.
• The Barefoot name is back on the racing scene!  Randy (Blake) Barefoot, the fifth of 20 children of Labell and Allene, has joined All-American Off-Road Racing, where cars compete on courses in mud bogs all over the Southeast, similar to one owned by reality-show contestant Anna "Lil' Bit" Granthum.  Blake drives an all-wheel-drive GMC car #21 and finished fifth in last year's standings, winning his first race at a bog in Georgia.  B.W. has said that Blake is the kind of driver he would be if B.W. had devoted himself to racing full-time rather than juggle sports and entertainment gigs.
• Bubba Brister, who once was on the same label as B.W., is writing an original theme song for star Major League Baseball slugger Josh Hamilton.  Most players choose their own music when they come to the plate, but this is believed to be first to be exclusively used in this way.  Hamilton, who joined the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim as a free agent last December, will make his regular-season home debut on April 9, when the Angels host the Oakland Athletics.  The song, which Brister describes as "symbolic of the hard road he has traveled and the satisfaction of reaching where he is now," will be unveiled at that time.  After the game, it will be available on iTunes and through the shop at MLB.com.

I will end with yet another Photoshop montage, this time showing Popeye in his element - on his boat as he looks for some fish to reel in and take home.