From the vault: Brittany vs. Britney

The expiration of BuddyWayneBarefoot.com is just hours away. Here is another of my favorite pages from the site that I wish to keep.

It's the comparison chart between Brittany Spears, one of my other favorite characters, and Britney Spears. I originally composed this in 2007, so the ages are as of that time.

Full name	Britney Jean Spears	Brittany Lynnette Spears
Hometown	Kentwood, Louisiana	Beattyville, Kentucky
Age	25	17
Music style	Pop/R&B	Bluegrass
Parents	Jamie and Lynne (estranged)	Blanton and Rebecca (happily married)
Husbands/boyfriends	Married and divorced twice; two kids from second marriage	Has a secret boyfriend (psst, it's Buddy Wayne Barefoot)
Career start	Mickey Mouse Club	Parents' basement
Signed by...	Business manager Louis Pearlman	Race car driver Buddy Wayne Barefoot
Debut album released	1998	2007
Album title	Hit Me Baby One More Time	Tales of a Jillbilly
Backup performers	Session acts (no names available)	Brothers Bunch, Blanton and Bradshaw; sister Bailey; cousin Brashears
Intended audience	Pop music lovers, horny men 18-49	The whole family!
Movie crossovers	Starred in Crossroads (remember that?)	None
Outrageous moments	Shaving her hair bald, lesbian-kissing, going to a public bathroom barefoot, and so many more	None (as far as we know)
Rehab visits	Several (in one week!)	None
Biggest professional problem	Where does one begin?	Her name on Wikipedia redirects to Britney's page
Overall image	Girl gone wild	Girl next door you want to marry
Does she exist?	Yes (unfortunately!)	No (unfortunately!)

From BWB.com: Lyrics to "Bluebird"

This is the second in a series of some of the essential pages from buddywaynebarefoot.com now being transferred to this blog. Please see this link for information as to why this is happening.

As a result of creating my character, I became a songwriter. Granted, I am not a professional and in fact this was my first-ever attempt. But I am confident that I conveyed his spirit through the lyrics of what would have been his songs.

Here is what the page looked like.

My character's signature song is "Bluebird." It is about the time, in 1997, that Buddy Wayne Barefoot left the United States for a new life overseas. He moved to an island off the coast of Africa because he thought it would provide for a great professional opportunity.

Unfortunately, his father did not approve and he had to sneak out of town through clandestine means. (For more information, see this page.) Although "Bluebird" was biographical, the theme is universal for anyone who is yearning for freedom. In addition, that this is a guitar solo makes it easy for just about anyone to play this song.--D.H.

Bluebird, bluebird, sittin' in a tree

Bluebird, bluebird, smilin' back at me

Bluebird, bluebird, sittin' in a tree

Bluebird, bluebird, smilin' back at me

Bluebird, bluebird, singin' a happy song

Bluebird, bluebird, all the day long

Bluebird, bluebird, singin' a happy song

Bluebird, bluebird, all the day long

One day I looked up expectin' to see

The bluebird perched at the top of the tree

But I was dumbfounded, I was amazed

To find the place empty, I was in a daze

Later, I found out he was taken away

Oh my, that had to be a miserable day

I searched everywhere, even asked around

But my dear bluebird was nowhere to be found

A few days later I discovered a cage

My reaction was nothing but a cold, hard rage

I found it in a house of a mean ol' man

I thought, "I want to stop him as fast as I can!"

Why, oh why, I attempted to say

Did that hard-hearted man want to take him away?

I had to do something, had to spread the word,

That someone had to free this beloved bird

My brave little bluebird/Thought of a plan

But couldn't get away/From the mean ol' man

Time passed away/And there was despair

The bird suffered more/Than anyone should bear

All the other birds/Knew of the little one's pain

And all of them vowed/He shouldn't suffer again

The cardinal, robin and sparrow too

Pecked away at the cage, oh yeah that was true

And soon the word spread across the great land

About the war that was ragin' and the birds' upper hand

In a last battle, the man tried one last time

But the bluebird's friends avenged the horrible crime

The cage broke wide open, the bird took his wing,

And at last my beloved bluebird was FREE AGAIN!

The aftermath saw a huge party in the woods,

The beasts of the meadow welcomed him back for good

The threat to his freedom, the days full of strife

Made the bluebird cherish his precious life

(Repeat first quatrain)

Bluebird

Bluebird

Bluebird

Oh, yeah, bluebird

(By the way, the link refers to a dummy page that would have been his Wikipedia entry had it existed, with this actual address.)

From the vault: The BWC movie

On Monday, I received an e-mail from Melbourne IT, which sells domain names to clients of Freeservers. Since 2007, I have maintained a website, buddywaynebarefoot.com, at Freeservers. However, for financial reasons, I will not keep the domain name after May 31. Therefore, Melbourne IT will reclaim the address for sale to another possible owner. More importantly, everything on my site will be erased.

The next several posts will be devoted to preserving some of the highlights of the site by transferring them onto this blog. First will be a "casting" of a movie based on The Buddy Wayne Chronicles, as posted on Dec. 7, 2007.

About one year ago at this time, the idea for The Buddy Wayne Chronicles was hatched. A sports and music celebrity gets away from it all, finds new adventures, and becomes more than he ever expected to be in the process.

All in all, it reads like a script for a Hollywood movie, with one exciting scene after another. So who plays the role based on the characters I created? And who fills the behind-the-scenes roles?

ACTORS

• Buddy Wayne Barefoot - Jason Lee (My Name is Earl). Of all the major film and TV stars, he is the closest in age, physical appearance, and accent to B.W.
• Shayla McLamb-Barefoot - Reese Witherspoon (I Walk the Line, Election). I would be so privileged to have an Oscar-nominated actress in this film.
• Bunky Barefoot - Sean Astin (Lord of the Rings trilogy). Picked because of his youth and his distinctive curly hair, matching what I think Bunky should look like.
• Brenda Barefoot - Kathy Bates (Misery). Even better: an Oscar winner in this role! Trivia to wow your friends and co-workers: Her original stage name was Bobo Bates.
• Dylan Bryan-Brown - Either Adrien or Adam Brody. The brothers are both favored by many movie critics and have been nominated for awards.
• Will Hawks - Patrick Dempsey (Grey's Anatomy). Derrick "McDreamy" Shepherd is not only a rising star, but also a sports-car driver.
• Bubba Ray Lumpkin - Nick Cannon (cut his teeth on Nickelodeon, several other films since). The moon face looks familiar...
• Alonzo Barefoot - Wilford Brimley (TV commercials, 1980s series Our House). If he could be persuaded to shave his mustache and put on a gray wig, he would be perfect.
• BooTeasha Baltimore - Tyra Banks (Tyra, America's Next Top Model) - My personal pick may also be the most difficult to obtain due to her schedule. If Banks is not available, either Gabrielle Union or Queen Latifah could step in.
• Brittany L. Spears - Taylor Swift. This teenage country singer beats out Kellie Pickler (American Idol) for the role of a bluegrass star. Swift is closer to the age of the character than Pickler is.
• Bubba Brister - Taylor Hicks (American Idol). Another reach, as Hicks would have to dye his hair for the part. But Hicks' R&B/blues background is somewhat like Brister's.
• Voice of Althea McBiddlewhiskers, the guardian angel - Marianne Muellerleile (too many TV shows and movies to count). One of Hollywood's great character actresses, she has over 200 credits in the last 30 years.
• Ms. McBynum, the restaurant owner - Mo'nique (various TV shows). This would be her first big movie role, no pun intended. And she deserves it.
• The other roles - including pro wrestlers Big and One Man Gang; Blackman Bibb, who runs the conference center; and Randy Mantooth, the serviceman turned racer, will be filled by unknowns, either character actors or first-timers. (For example, some National Football League players could play the pro wrestlers.)

BEHIND THE SCENES

• Head scriptwriter - Bonnie MacBird. MacBird not only has a name that could fit among the denizens of Idealia, but she more importantly has more than 25 years of writing and executive experience. Her most famous script was for the 1982 Disney hit movie Tron. She currently teaches a scriptwriting class at UCLA Extension called "Write Side of the Brain."
• Director - Ron Howard. The co-head of Imagine Entertainment has been a fan favorite as an actor, director, and producer for over 40 years, going back to when he played Opie Taylor on The Andy Griffith Show. I think he is best at telling this type of story.
• Stunt/race coordinator - Stanton Barrett. Currently driving in the Busch/Nationwide Series, Barrett has over 25 movie credits as a stuntman, including Spider-Man 2, The Dukes of Hazzard (film), and 8 Mile. No actual person knows the world that Buddy Wayne inhabits better than Barrett.
• Brian Barefoot is not only the namesake of the star character, he has worked on all 14 seasons of Survivor to date as an editor. Don't know if he has any film experience, but I would hire him for this.

Some updates: Mo'Nique is now the second Oscar winner in my cast, as she won Best Supporting Actress in 2010 for Precious: Based on Push by Sapphire. Instead of 14 seasons of Survivor, there have now been 20. In 2009, Cannon became the host of America's Got Talent, and returns for a second season in that role on June 1. Finally, Tron: Legacy hits theaters this coming December.

It's been a while, so...

While I reviewed my website to import some photos to fulfill an assignment for the adult school, I found that it has been a month since I made my last posting. So here is a brief update:

• I have added a new, important link that you can access by clicking on Buddy Wayne's picture. It is the page at which you can buy my book. This is the most important feature I have added to the site, and I am so sorry that I did not do this earlier - probably at the moment this blog was created.
• As mentioned, I am creating a new final project for my InDesign class using my characters. The eventual result will be a 12-page "press kit" with "biographies" of selected singers. The Brittany Spears page will be labeled Spears Family Band due to my teacher's lack of ease over the use of a similarly-named recording artist, and I have changed the name of the Barenaked Ladies (too provocative to use in a class project) to Slumber Party.
• The NASCAR Hall of Fame opened on May 11 in Charlotte, NC. This is a place after Buddy's own heart, as it honors the past of the sport but also provides a setting for interactivity, just like science museums. The Hall can also be rented out for special events, and indeed I have "scheduled" one for June 23, honoring the Barefoot Fund, an organization that honors family history, military service, and moral and ethical causes. The form I would have used to make the reservation links from this page.
  
• Finally, there is still no decision as to whether or not Buddy Wayne will enter the million-dollar legends car race at Charlotte Motor Speedway. I will continue to take my time.
  

Will one-million-dollar purse lure B.W. back?

The 2007 Heritage Cup race, a stock-car racing event in which drivers represented their family names, was supposed to be Buddy Wayne Barefoot's farewell. And he won it in the most unforgettable style, flipping across the start/finish line and landing with the wheels pointed the right way. It was the most dramatic finish ever in racing.

Since then, I have vowed that my character would never again go racing.

But it seems that nothing is final in auto racing, or in the world of sports in general. The names of great athletes who have come back or extended their careers have been very famous - Michael Jordan, Brett Favre, Sugar Ray Leonard, and Michael Schumacher are just a few of them.

Now, Barefoot is faced with the temptation to return, in the form of the Legends Million, this coming July at Charlotte Motor Speedway. The purse, of course one million dollars, is the largest in the history of U.S. Legend Cars International, which has similar cars to what Barefoot drove that magical night.

The Legends Million is scheduled for July 14 through 17, and it was announced today that the final rounds will be televised live on Speed.

Will Buddy fill out the entrance form and thereby end a well-deserved retirement from the sport? Or will he stay in the garage area as up to 1,000 other drivers go for the top prize of $250,000? Stay tuned!

Buddy blabs away

Things have been too quiet lately in the world of my characters, so I approached Buddy Wayne Barefoot earlier this week and spoke to him on some of the hottest topics of the day.

Health care in the United States: It's about time something happened. We have seen all the other industrialized countries in the world start some kind of health-care system that protects all of its citizens. I cannot believe that no Republican - not one of them - supported the new health-care system, even though there is no "single payer" option as there is in the other nations. Even an executive order banning the use of federal funds for abortion was not good enough for them. You have a top-notch system of care in Congress, why not share that with the public? That's what happens when you believe that death panels will soon kill Grandma.

The right wing gets violent: This is why the Tea Party movement has lost me. A few people have spoiled it for everyone through racial slurs, bricks thrown through windows, and drawings of President Barack Obama as if he lived in the jungle. No matter what you think, he is our president and we all must respect him. And the talk-show hosts are horrible: Rush Limbaugh has slid into irrevelance and Glenn Beck is clearly paranoid. (Unfortunately, Keith Olbermann is no better on the left. Yes, the Iraq war has been questionable at best, but George W. Bush is not the Antichrist, either.)

Possible expansion of the NCAA men's basketball tournament to 96 teams: No! This cheapens the tournament and invites more mediocre teams to the postseason. It also will not save the jobs of head coaches, as some has suggested. The only reason this would happen is so that the NCAA can tear up the current TV contract - with three years left - and replace it with a new pact and receive more money. That's sad.

Simon Cowell to leave American Idol: The show won't be the same without him. I wish him good luck on the American version of The X-Factor, which will be on Fox beginning in the fall of next year. Thankfully, the Howard Stern-as-replacement rumors have gone away, otherwise I would never watch the show again. One of my fans asked me if I were interested in replacing Simon on the judges' panel. I think I would be served better as a mentor for a single episode. My nature is better suited for helping performers instead of critiquing them. So, no, I don't want to be a judge.

That's it for now. I'll "talk" to him again soon, maybe when something big happens in Idealia. Until then, happy Easter.

My characters go to school; UWF results

I haven't posted in exactly two weeks, so appropriately I have combined two posts into one.

The first part is that I have integrated my characters as part of classroom assignments at ABC Adult School in both classes I attend. In the Photoshop I class (10 a.m.-11:50 a.m.), I am creating a "concert poster" with Buddy, Blondie, Brittany Spears, and Bubba Brister performing at Brian Warner Park on a fall day with the colorful leaves as a backdrop. (I chose Brian Warner's name because it is the given name of punk rock star Marilyn Manson.) The Photoshop assignment is due at the end of class on April 1. In the Illustrator class (12:20 p.m.-2:10 p.m.), I am creating an artwork in which Barefoot has a bluebird on his shoulder, symbolic of the title of his hit song. That task has already been completed, and I am thinking of a second project which could have a similar theme.


The other subject is the Ultimate Wrestling Federation card I wrote about in Chapter 3. Strangely, I was inspired by the infomercial that pitched both Santo Gold jewelry and a B-grade picture called Blood Circus. (This page has all the details.) That got me to thinking that I haven't given away all the results yet. So, as Jim Lange said decades ago, herrrrre they are:

• The Hillbilly Kid pinned Bobby James. Kid was played by all-league tight end Ricky Biffle, who was making his wrestling debut
  
• Chill Town (C.J. Brookshire and Bryan McFalls, dressed as reality TV stars Will Kirby and Mike Malin, respectively) defeated jobbers R.D. Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez in tag-team action
• "The Real" Biggie Smalls took the UWF Television Title away from the Dead Men Wrestling clique by pinning Danny Boy (based on Davey Boy Smith, but with an Irish accent)
  
• Barbie Blank (WWE's Kelly Kelly) beat Big Rhonda of DMW to win the women's championship
• DMW member Badd Boy Brady Boone, Jr. pinned Super Black Ninja to defend the hardcore title. The final blow came when Boone attacked Ninja with the handle of the scythe provided by the ringleader The Ripper.)
  
• DMW member Squashing Leamy beats Crusher Bennett. After the match, Bennett threatened former manager Ashley Mae Basher until "The Real" Biggie Smalls entered the ring to save her.
• The New Blade Runners, Brick and Flash, won the four-way international table ladders and chairs match as representatives of the U.S. They beat "Owen Hart" and "Brian Pillman" (Canada), Tanaka and Ito (Japan), and El Rana and El Vaquero (Mexico).
• Big defended his UWF heavyweight championship when he pinned One Man Gang. The pin move came from a head scissor move after Big had plunged from the top of the video lighting stand 45 feet above the ring.