Re-running a NASCAR season with a Hall of Fame driver lineup

As someone who has been out of work for years, I have lots of time to think about things.  Among them is an age-old question among sports fans: If the greatest stars from all eras could come together, who would win?

Since 2009, I have playing out those questions in various sports, based on my intuition and knowledge of sports history (not on computer simulations or board games such as APBA; believe me, I tried to change one seasons' cards into those of Pro Football Hall of Fame players and came up short in the attempt.)

Some of this was on a board related to 506 Sports, which tracks schedules and commentators for sports events, mainly in North America and specifically the United States and Canada.  When the moderator ended that, someone on 506 spun off a forum called All-Time Sports where the conversation continued.  I contributed simulated results in the NFL, Major League Baseball, the NBA, the NHL, some college sports, and NASCAR in that thread.

I thought that was the end of it, until last spring when one of my fellow users pointed me to AlternateHistory.com.  He all but invited me to go there if I had anything new to contribute, and within weeks a new idea came.  I chose to go back to NASCAR, and I did so for two reasons:

• I watch NASCAR more intently than any other sport.  This goes back to my B.W. character and my desire to figure out where he would rank with the drivers who were on track at the time.  Even though I quit that after a 2007 vacation to Las Vegas on a week off for the premier series (don't ask), I have continued to be a fan ever since.
• The fundamental changes to NASCAR in the years since my contributions to All-Time Sports are greater than for any other sport I have tracked.  While other sports have merely introduced new athletes, game schedules, and even venues (with the most notable example of the last of those being the NFL International Series in London and Mexico City), NASCAR has literally changed so much as to be unrecognizable - from introducing overtime and double-file restarts after cautions to changing the race cars and tracks a number of times.

In 2004, NASCAR had already introduced a playoff system, called the Chase, which it has since changed several times including even the name itself.  I decided not to run it as a tribute to long-time sponsor R.J. Reynolds, as in the Winston Cup.  But I long had questions about how different the season might have gone.

But the big impetus was the announcement on Jan. 21, 2017, that changed the very face of each race in the top three series - Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series, Xfinity Series, and Camping World Truck Series.  I went to the Jayski page at ESPN.com and got these details:

• At the end of the race, the winner will get 40 points, and then second through 35th will be awarded points on a 35-to-2 scale. Those finishing 36th to 40th will be awarded one point. There will be no bonus points for leading a lap or leading the most laps.
• NASCAR will award points 10-to-1 to the top-10 drivers at the end of each of the first two segments. The number of laps of each of the first two segments will be the same in a race (and won't change if the caution comes out), and the end of the second stage will be approximately at the halfway point of the race. A race would be official after the second stage if it rains.
• Drivers will now carry bonus points -- called "playoff points" -- throughout the entire playoffs (instead of just the first round) when the points get reset [to 2,000]. Drivers will earn five playoff points for every race win and one playoff point for every segment win. The top-10 drivers in the standings in the regular season also earn additional playoff points on a 15-10-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 scale. Drivers will continue to accumulate points throughout the playoffs and carry all the points earned during the year into each of the first three playoff rounds.
• Qualifying for the playoffs remains the same -- the regular-season champion plus 15 drivers based on wins with ties broken by points will get into the playoffs, as long as they are in the top 30 in the standings.
• The playoffs will remain divided into three three-race rounds with four drivers eliminated after each round to set up four finalists for the season finale at Homestead-Miami Speedway. Drivers automatically qualify into the next round with a win in that playoff round, and the remaining spots filled by the point standings. At Homestead, the top-finishing driver among the four finalists at the end of the race wins the title.
• The race purse will be paid at the final stage.
• The 150-mile qualifying races at Daytona will be worth points to the top-10 drivers on a 10-to-1 scale (just like a race segment), but the winners do not get bonus points for the playoffs.
• NASCAR won't allow teams to replace body panels during a race, and teams will have additional limitations on crash repair that likely will mean most drivers who have to go to the garage won't return for the remainder of the race.

So I decided to post some hypothetical results on the Alternate History site, set last February at Daytona Speedweeks.  However, after some soul-searching, I have found that AH is just not right for me, and therefore no more posts will appear there.  (Mainly it's because most of the content begins at a certain point in history and it changes.  There is no "certain point" here, since the drivers come from different eras.)

But I feel this place is perfect.  For one thing, I control all the content that appears, as long as it complies with all the site rules, of course.  For another, my character would love it; these are the drivers he would have admired at the very least, and competed against in some cases.  (I "followed" his career from 2003 to the start of '07.)  Finally, this provides new content for the blog, which I have not posted in quite some time.

So let's get started.

On this post, I will summarize the basic rules for the hypothetical season.  With the next, I will "begin" the season with the biggest races of the year, the aforementioned speedweeks events including the Daytona 500.

All series
Races from season 1.0 will be re-run in their entireties when applicable.  The only difference is the division of each race into three stages.  The number of stages for each race, and their percentage of the total number of laps in the scheduled distance, will vary from race to race.  See the individual pages on my Excel files for details.

Stage 1
Results of stage 1 will be based on the number of career wins in that race by drivers who qualified for the race.  The driver with the most wins will be the stage winner and pick up 10 stage points and 1 playoff point, if eligible.   The driver second in wins will get 9 stage points, the third-best will get 8, and so on, down to 1 point for 10th place.

For example, Richard Petty will win stage 1 of the Daytona 500, as he holds the record for the most wins in the "Great American Race" with 7.

Scenarios
⦁    If more than one driver has the same number of race wins, the driver with the best remaining finish in that race will be placed highest in the running order.  So those who finished as a runner-up in another race would be placed ahead of a third-place finisher, who would be ahead of a fourth-place finisher, and so on.
⦁    If there are fewer than 10 race winners in the field for that race, the drivers with the best remaining finishes in that race will earn stage points.
⦁    If fewer than 10 drivers in the starting lineup have participated in the race before, remaining stage points will go to drivers with the best starting positions.

Stage 2
Results of stage 2 will be based on the average career finishes in that race by drivers that have qualified for the race.  The driver with the best average finish will receive 10 stage points and 1 playoff point, if eligible.  The one with the next-best average gets 9 points, the one with the third-best average gets 8, and so on, down to 1 point for 10th place.

However, to qualify for possible stage points for average finish, drivers must have competed in a minimum number of races.  Exact minimums are as follows:
⦁    For races run 9 or fewer times - 3
⦁    Races run 10-24 times - 4
⦁    Races run 25-39 times - 5
⦁    Races run 40 or more times - 6

If fewer than 10 drivers in the starting lineup have qualifying averages, remaining stage points will go to the drivers who had the best finishing positions after Stage 1.

Please note that the results of stages 1 and 2 are based only on past results in that particular race, not on total wins or average finishes at the host tracks overall.

Stage 3
Results of stage 3 - and therefore the overall finish of the entire race - will be determined by duplicating the overall finish of the corresponding race in version 1.0.  The point system will be as described by Jayski/ESPN above.

Drivers not entered in the previous version will be inserted at the administrator's discretion. (That's my role, of course.) Returning competitors will usually, but not always, have the same position.  That is dependent on the relative strength of the teams for which they drive.

If there was no corresponding race in version 1.0, the final running order will be determined by the administrator based on a number of factors, including past results of each driver and statistical likelihood from certain starting positions.

Point eligibility
Drivers can only compete for the championship in one of the three series and will accumulate points only in that series.

Drivers in the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series with at least 180 career starts as of the end of the 2016 season - the equivalent of five full seasons - are limited to ten races in the Xfinity Series and seven in the Camping World Truck Series.  They cannot compete in any of the last eight races on the schedule (playoffs plus the preceding race), nor can any Cup driver - regardless of experience - drive in the season finales at Homestead-Miami Speedway.

Qualifying
Starting lineups for all races are determined by the administrator.  Only the top qualifying speed will be made public, except for the Daytona 500 for which the entire sheet will be published.

In Cup races, all chartered drivers and the top four open drivers will make the field.  Starting positions will be set in straight order from 1 through 40.  If there are more open entries than spots available, the last-place open driver(s) will fail to qualify.

For Xfinity races, the 33 drivers with the top results will start in that order.  This will be followed by six drivers qualifying with provisionals based on owner points for the teams they drive for.  The last spot will go to either a past champion or the driver for the team next-highest in points.

In the truck series, the procesure is the same, except that the top 27 results are locked in, followed by four provisionals plus one.

The Daytona 500 and Eldora truck series starting fields will be determined by qualifying races, with the fields set by the original qualifying sheet.

If qualifying is canceled, owners' points will set the field, with teams making all attempts starting ahead of those that did not, followed by season race winners and past champions if necessary.

Race and pole statistics
The average of the last five races will be used to determine the race speed, number of cautions, and number of lead changes.  If a race was shortened, the cautions and lead-change numbers will be projected for a full race.

Winning pole speeds for all races, except for the Daytona 500 and the Eldora truck races, will be based on an average of the last five qualifying contests held.

Some figures may be excluded from the averages if, in the administrator's discretion, they are disproportionate from the remaining numbers in the set.

Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series
Qualifying
Each race will have 40 drivers, down from 43 in Season 1.0.

Thirty-five (35) starting positions in each race are reserved for the drivers who finished atop the season standings in version 1.0.  They are (with season point totals):
1.    Jeff Gordon - 5,279
2.    Dale Earnhardt - 5,269
3.    Richard Petty - 4,984
4.    Mark Martin - 4,961
5.    Rusty Wallace - 4,867
6.    Cale Yarborough - 4,812
7.    David Pearson - 4,776
8.    Darrell Waltrip - 4,707
9.    Tony Stewart - 4,647
10.    Davey Allison - 4,634
11.    Bobby Allison - 4,626
12.    Bill Elliott - 4,581
13.    Dale Jarrett - 4,537
14.    Terry Labonte - 4,505
15.    Bobby Labonte - 4,313
16.    Ned Jarrett - 4,176
17.    Harry Gant - 3,826
18.    Jeff Burton - 3,713
19.    Tim Richmond - 3,682
20.    Dale Earnhardt, Jr. - 3,546
21.    Kurt Busch - 3,503
22.    Ricky Rudd - 3,499
23.    Buck Baker - 3,408
24.    Dave Marcis - 3,366
25.    Alan Kulwicki - 3,283
26.    Lee Petty - 3,248
27.    Matt Kenseth - 3,200
28.    Neil Bonnett - 3,015
29.    Benny Parsons - 2,977
30.    Sterling Marlin - 2,836
31.    A.J. Foyt - 2,821
32.    Fireball Roberts - 2,808
33.    Kenny Wallace - 2,451
34.    Tim Flock - 2,446
35.    Joe Weatherly - 2,421
The 36th position was assigned to Jimmie Johnson, who has tied the all-time record with seven season titles.  Johnson was 40th in season 1.0, in which he was full-time starting with the Southern 500.

This mimics the charter system that was established by NASCAR for the series in 2016.  Charters are awarded to owners based on at least five continuous years of entries, but can be sold or transferred.

All other drivers and teams must compete for remaining spots on an "open" basis, and are subject to failure to qualify if there are more than 40 entries for a given race.

Daytona 500 qualifying
Qualifying for the "Great American Race" begins with a two-round session.  Cars enter the track one at a time and take only one lap each.  The 12 drivers with the fastest laps qualify for the second and final round, at which the fastest driver gains the pole position and the next-fastest starts alongside.

All other starting spots are determined at the Can-Am Duel at Daytona.  The pole sitter for the Daytona 500 is also the pole sitter for race #1, and the second-fastest driver from single-car qualifying is on the pole for race #2.  The rest of the starting fields is determined as thus:
⦁    Race #1 - 3rd, 5th, 7th, 9th fastest and so on from qualifying laps among the guaranteed starters, and the fastest, 3rd, etc. from the open drivers
⦁    Race #2 - 4th, 6th, 8th, 10th fastest and so on from the first phase among the guaranteed starters, and the 2nd fastest, 4th, etc. from the open drivers

Once the races are completed, the starting lineup for the Daytona 500 is set on this basis:
⦁    Drivers with the two fastest laps from the first phase
⦁    Top remaining finisher from race #1 then starts 3rd, then all other drivers in that race 5th, 7th, 9th etc. back to 37th, including the top open driver
⦁    Top remaining finisher from race #2 then starts 4th, then all others in that race 4th, 6th, 8th, 10th etc. back to 38th, again including the top open driver
⦁    The last two spots go to the third- and fourth-fastest non-guaranteed drivers from the original qualifying laps
All other open drivers will be eliminated.





As mentioned above, stage points will be awarded to the top 10 finishers in each race, as well as better starting positions.

Playoff structure
Round of 16 (2,000+playoff points) - Tracks: Chicagoland, New Hampshire, Dover
Round of 12 (3,000+PP) - Tracks: Charlotte, Kansas, Talladega
Round of 8 (4,000+PP) - Tracks: Martinsville, Texas, Phoenix
Championship 4 (5,000 only) at Homestead-Miami

Xfinity Series
As with Cup, fields have been reduced from 43 drivers to 40 for each race.

Dash4Cash
This special program, which dates back to 2012, rewards the series' regulars with the chance to win serious bonus money.

Two eligible drivers will qualify for the award after each of the first two stages.  If the same driver(s) finish in the top two after each stage, the next driver(s) in the running order after stage two will qualify to make up the four-driver field.  The driver who is first across the start/finish line at the end of the race in that group will win $100,000 cash.  If a driver sweeps all four such races, he will earn $1,000,000.

No driver with more than 180 career Cup Series starts can compete in any of these races.

The Dream Season schedule will be Phoenix on Mar. 10, Bristol on Apr. 14, Richmond on Apr. 21, and Pocono on Jun. 2.

Playoff structure
Round of 12 (2,000+playoff points) - Tracks: Kentucky, Dover, Charlotte
Round of 8 (3,000+PP) - Tracks: Kansas, Texas, Phoenix
Championship 4 (4,000 only) at Homestead-Miami

Camping World Truck Series
Fields for these races have been reduced from 36 drivers to 32.

Eldora qualifying
For the Eldora Dirt Derby, qualifying begins with trucks going out one at a time and taking two laps around the dirt oval, with the faster lap counting.  Speeds will be used to determine the starting lineups for each of five qualifying races (NASCAR insists on using the terminology; everyone else calls them "heats.")  The top five drivers in each race qualify for the 150-lap main race, with starting positions alternating.  The next two spots will be filled in a last-chance race among all remaining drivers.  Provisionals will then be used to fill the rest of the field as at all other events.

The length of each of the first five heats is 10 laps, while the last-chance qualifier will last for 15 laps.  During caution periods, laps will not count.

Finishing order for the five qualifying races will be set based on wins in past heats, with best remaining finish as tiebreaker.   If there are fewer drivers in a heat than those that have participated before, those with the best qualifying speeds will take the remaining transfer positions.

For the last-chance qualifier, the drivers with best remaining finish will advance, or those with the best qualifying speeds if necessary.

The driver with the winning pole speed will win the pole award regardless of his/her position in the first heat race.

Playoff structure
Round of 8 (2,000+playoff points) - Tracks: New Hampshire, Las Vegas, Talladega
Round of 6 (3,000+PP) - Tracks: Martinsville, Texas, Phoenix
Championship 4 (4,000 only) at Homestead-Miami

A new story from the latest family reunion

One similarity between my real family and the Barefoot family is the over-the-top reunions they hold.  Both meet every other year, but there are some significant differences.

The McMillon reunion (my mom's side) rotates among different cities, has multi-day events, and convene every year ending in an even number.  On the other hand, the Barefoot family meets for only one day in the same location - Meadow, NC, of course - and comes together only in odd-numbered years.

Some time ago, I completed an InDesign project with a complete program for the Barefoots, and I dated it in 2015.  That means it's time once again for the reunion, and as it happens, it's supposed to take place today.

What appears below is a page from the new, revised program.  For this, I update the adventures of Brandy, Bunky, and Blake from the last event.  Blake is the middle brother of Brandy and Bunky; he lives separately from the other siblings and with their parents, Daniel and Laurie.

This is the first of a three-page article.  It mentions Brandy and Bunky: R.O.A.M., the TV series I have summarized before.  On Page 2, I write that Brandy is now a professional ballroom dancer and Bunky has taken up parkour, or freerunning, an extreme sport in which athletes jump between buildings and tackle other big obstacles.

As for page 3, I touch on Blake leading the local football team to a conference championship as the starting quarterback, winning the Johnston County championship in the javelin throw, and his plans to travel to London to pursue a career as a professional darts thrower.

Brandy and Bunky R.O.A.M. - Season 1, part 2

Here are the last five episodes of the first season of the New Earth travelogue series Brandy and Bunky R.O.A.M.

Episode #6 - Tibet/Burma/Thailand
The siblings travel to a region with history, intrigue, and recent turmoil.

An overnight stay takes them to Lhasa, the capital of Tibet.  Once a large, independent kingdom, Tibet was taken over by China in the early 20th century, the Dalai Lama was sent into exile, and the Communist government cracked down on political opponents.

Another overnight in Kathmandu is followed by an entry into Burma.  Also known politically as Myanmar, this was ruled by a military junta for most of the 20th and also start of the 21st centuries.  Brandy and Bunky visit Mandalay, a well-known trading post and river town.  They buy souvenirs at the night market and see a show with traditional dancing and folk poetry.

Over the next two days, they travel down river to Rangoon (also called Yangon) and then down the coast to Bangkok.  The city had been known for its congestion, sanitation issues, and prostitution.  But now that Bangkok has been cleaned up in the New Era, it is acclaimed as one of the most beautiful cities in all of Asia.  There, the siblings split up for the first time.

Brandy visits the Garden of Maidens, a beyond-beautiful garden area and residential district built in the city's former red-light district.  She has her picture taken with locals and exchanges gifts.  Meanwhile,  Bunky is taught the intimate details of muay thai kickboxing, the "national sport" of Thailand.  After the lesson, his instructor takes him to the city's stadium where they watch a card along with about 40,000 other spectators.  In a surprise, Bunky is invited into the ring to take on one of the up-and-coming stars of the martial art - and holds his own!

Episode #7 - Australia (Part 1)
Brandy and Bunky cross the Indian/Pacific Channel to Australia, and specifically the "top end" and "red center" regions.

They begin in the area around Uluru, the sacred rock formation and most renowned landmark of the aboriginal people.  With the return of Jesus Christ, the natives' way of life and traditional beliefs were called into question.  People even started to climb Uluru, which has always been discouraged.

After a two-day trip by all-terrain vehicle, the siblings arrive in Darwin, the unofficial capital of the "Top End," the tropical region of extreme northern Australia.  There, they are greeted by Brett Hart, marine biologist and professor at the University of Melbourne.  After Christ's return, he was among the first to notice behavorial changes in the marine animals living off the island nation/continent's vast waters.  Dolphins, whales, and walruses suddenly had their biology changed, transforming them from mammals to fish.  "It is symbolic of how God re-created the world," Hart says.

Brandy and Bunky spend an hour playing in the waters with two dolphins and a whale shark.  After they surface, they call it their favorite highlight of the trip so far.  This episode ends with an overnight stay in Darwin.

Episode #8 - Australia (Part 2)
The siblings' 10-day grand tour of Australia continues with a trip to a "station," or cattle ranch, co-owned by Hayley McBroom and Bill "Budgie" Miller.  McBroom is one of the biggest musical stars in Australia; she began with its version of country music, but has now emerged as a cross-over superstar.  The demure lady ("I can't believe she's such a star," remarks Brandy) used her platform to support evangelicals and even toured with the famed Hillsong group. 

Some years before the Appearing, McBroom and Miller - girlfriend and boyfriend - moved to the station that Miller's grandparents had built, located about 20 miles west of Sydney.  It's a working ranch, and what Brandy and Bunky do is pretty much like what they do at home.  But it's all worth it to enjoy some of the tastiest food in the nation, and a world-famous performance of songs on behalf of the entire community.

On their final day Down Under, the siblings participate in First Friday, a live art and music show held by the city of Sydney in commemoration of First Night, the event in which Jesus Christ officially took control of the New Earth.  It even ends in a fireworks show.

Episode #9 - Hawaii
It's across the Pacific for the siblings, to travel to the only current U.S. state that was once an independent kingdom.  The islands were ruled by monarchs from their unification in 1796 to its takeover by the U.S. in 1898 (then on to statehood in 1959).

The siblings' first stop is the Iolani Palace, where in these new days God has granted the restoration of the old monarchy.  The ruler is a young woman named Mahalani Martin, the six-times-great-granddaughter of King Kamehameha, the unifier of the islands.  She talks to them about the many cultural and political programs she has initiated to mark the new chapter in Hawaiian history.

Bunky, of course, is always up for adventure, and in Hawaii that means surfing.  At first, he finds the waves intimidating, but he adjusts quickly and turns it into another enjoyable adventure.  Meanwhile, Brandy attends a local school and participates in a local show of fashion, arts, and crafts.

That night the siblings reunite in downtown Honolulu for a communal luau and local music.

Episode #10 - Mexico
The ultimate adventure wraps up just on the other side of the U.S. border.  On day 1, Brandy and Bunky take in the awesome scene in the "new" Mexico City, which now floats on the restored Lake Texcoco.  This means the city is smaller in size than the contemporary metropolis, but is also far more beautiful.  After a delicious dinner, it's on to their hotel room.

The next day, a four-wheeler takes them to Guanajuato, a small city in central Mexico in the midst of a "hearth region," where many familiar foods - like sweet potatoes, beans, and tomatoes - were first grown in ancient times.  There, Brandy and Bunky meet Alicia, the city's mayor.  She espouses on how profoundly life has changed since Jesus' return: "For the first time we can remember, we have bumper crops year after year.  All our physical and spiritual needs are supplied, and there is no longer a need to find jobs elsewhere."  Alicia explains that many of her residents had migrated to Mexico City and various cities in the U.S.

The siblings then visit an apartment complex full of some of these returnees.  To their astonishment, one of them is Jorge, who was once a neighbor of theirs back home in Meadow.  He tells the harrowing story of how he crossed a dangerous border in the Arizona desert, then had to pay a buscón, or scout, to get on an overcrowded bus to get to North Carolina.  There, he established a family and sent his two children to the local school.  But, "when Christ came back, we just couldn't wait to get back here, since we wanted to be here all along," Jorge says through tears.

On such a high note, Brandy and Bunky return home.  Although the siblings separate as Brandy starts her new role in The History of Dance, their next adventure together is in the back of their minds.  "I never knew traveling could be such fun, and we can't wait to do this again," Brandy says.

Brandy and Bunky R.O.A.M. - Season 1, part 1

Welcome back!  I have been busy the last few months, and for lots of reasons:

• I took a four-day vacation with my family to Las Vegas this past April.  I planned and for the most part executed a full schedule of events, and was mostly happy with it.
• I joined the community at AlternateHistory.com with new simulations of events in which I mix athletes from different eras together.  That was not my plan, but I was invited at the end of April by a member of another forum that I have "known" for a long time, and I accepted.
• Besides, I frankly ran out of ideas relating to my second family.  However, that will change in the next few weeks.  More details of that presently.

For now, I bring you, as I promised long ago, the entire season of my new spin-off TV show, Brandy and Bunky R.O.A.M.  In case you've forgotten, siblings and first cousins of Buddy Wayne have traveled the world in search of the possible effects of the prophesied Second Coming of Jesus.  Along the way, they meet people and participate in experiences.

These are episodes 1-5; the first is revised from a previous post, while the next four are entirely new.

Episode #1 - Jamaica
The first stop on their journey around the New Earth is Jamaica.  Located in the Caribbean Sea, the country may have the most features of the region that are indelible in the public mind, including its laid-back lifestyle and exotic food, music, and lifestyle.  However, despite appearances, it is far from paradise for most of its residents.  Due to economic hardship and exploitation, many of its residents have emigrated to other countries - mainly Canada and the U.K., with some moving to the U.S.  The return of Christ changed everything, especially in the restored city of Port Royal.

Port Royal, once known as the bawdy headquarters for Caribbean pirates, was destroyed in an earthquake in 1720.  After Christ returned, Bertland McSween - a pastor and entertainer - found the old plans and convinced the Jamaican government to rebuild it as the centerpiece of post-Christian life in both the country and region.

McSween hosts a tour of the port and downtown.  He points out that Port Royal is now a thriving, multicultural city with four languages - English, French, Spanish, and Dutch - that are commonly spoken in the various neighborhoods.  McSween is especially proud to show off Blackbeard's Playhouse. 

It is where he conceived of Port Royal Review, the Caribbean entry in the King David International Festival - the same entertainment event at which Brandy and Bunky performed as part of Back Down Home.  On this night, the siblings enjoy two of the acts that were part of that review: R&B/reggae diva Zellie St. Brown[1] and steel drum virtuoso Lewis Pipersburg.

The next day, McSween takes Brandy and Bunky to a sugar mill that was founded by British colonials but now run by descendants of the same slave labor brought in to work there.  The employee owners share their gratitude of being able to enjoy the results of their harvest.  That evening, the siblings join the locals for jerk chicken dinner, followed a dessert of cake made from the local processed sugar.
[1]Short for "Battimamzelle," Old French word for dragonfly

Episode #2 - British Isles part 1
A plane trip across the Atlantic takes Brandy and Bunky to Heathrow airport in London, where Brandy reveals that she has landed a role in The History of Dance, a new performance review created by Blinky Blink.  She will dance in a ballroom portion with her partner, Hylton Tripp.  The duo met at Lena Peacock's studio in Meadow and have competed professionally.

Once on the ground, they embark on an ambitious five-day tour of the United Kingdom:
⦁    On Day 1, they start by visiting the home and museum of Barabbas McRipper, the warrior-king who united Ireland as an independent country for the first time in its history by freeing Ulster from British rule.  Then it's on to Dublin, and lunch at a cafe owned by sisters Bonnie and Connie Ryan, who rediscovered the art of fine Irish living after moving there from the U.S., where both their parents were firefighters.  (In fact, one of Connie's uncles was among the 343 firefighters killed in New York City on 9/11.)  Finally, it's on to a local theater, where the couple learns the traditional moves from the award-winning Beatha McCaughtry (another veteran of the KDIF) before having a cameo on-stage that night.
⦁    Day 2 is spent in Scotland.  In the morning, the couple visits the castle of Duncan MacMalcolm, the holder of the throne of the fully restored Kingdom of Scotland.  From there, it's on to one of the Highland Games as VIP guests, but Bunky wants to participate anyway, so of course he does.  (He doesn't win anything, but ends up OK.)  It's on to MacMalcolm's castle for the night.
⦁    Day 3 takes them to Wales and southern England.  The highlight is a trip to a bog garden, in which the revived plant life that once was the area's famous coal has been reshaped into many beautiful designs.

Episode #3 - British Isles part 2
⦁    On Day 4, Brandy and Bunky go to England.  First up is a trip to Bedford, the town from which John Absalom Barefoote emigrated to the United States in 1671, establishing the family line in the U.S. they are part of today.  After some considerable work, they find John and talk to him about his journey and share what has happened in their clan.  This is followed by a tea and then a pleasant all-day horse carriage trip into the heart of London to spend the night.
⦁    The final day has Brandy and Bunky in the heart of London, and they also make a jump in time from medieval times to the 19th century.  It's a city of Victorian influence with the backdrop of steampunk.  Bunky tries out a perpetual motion machine and can't stop raving about it: "We should take this thing back home, since our family needs it."  But the climax of this whole trip is the chance to see Piper's Remorse, a production of Lord John Flemming, a playwright so talented that William Shakespeare is said to have learned from him.

Episode #4 - Italy
Brandy and Bunky then visit a country which will be known as the "living time machine," because the people and environments will be from radically different times in history.

Days 1 and 2 are spent in Rome and Vatican City, where the world center of Catholicism is cheek-by-jowl with a revived imperial metropolis.  The siblings see a card of chariot racing at the Colosseum and sit in on a meeting of the Roman Senate.  On the second day, they see a classical Italian opera.

An overnight train trip to Florence follows, then a tour of the people and lifestyles of the deMedicis that shaped the Renaissance era.  The highlight there is seeing the fully restored version of The Lord's Supper, using upgraded materials than the original, which makes the fresco last longer.

It's then on to Venice, where the backdrop is the time of the Doges in the 14th century.  After finding out that the famous gondoliers don't really sing (bummer), the siblings enjoy a banquet and entertainment show at Piazza San Marco.

The last of the five days is spent in a cottage near the city of Reggio Emilia, from where Brandy's and Bunky's great-grandfather emigrated to the United States in the early-1900s.  Giovanni Pizzoli is obviously glad to see their descendants, and he shares the story of how his branches have spread all over the world.  But he is quick to add that everyone couldn't wait to come back home to Italy.  They then spent the night before leaving the country.

Episode #5 - Kashmir (India/Pakistan)
Up next for the wandering pair is the mountainous region of Kashmir.  Since the late 1940s, the region has been in dispute between India and Pakistan, and it has become symbolic of the desire of the common cultures of the Indian subcontinent to live in harmony and peace.  With the New Era comes the realization of the dream.

The Bhatt family is one of so many that were reunited.  Their backgrounds and lives are similar to those of the Barefoot clan in the United States.  Rajiv Bhatt, the head, was an accomplished cricket player and his wife Sunita starred in many Bollywood movies and was a best-selling pop singer.  They live with seven children, two grandchildren, and several aunts and uncles.

And like the Barefoots, the Bhatts have chosen to live a simple life on their farm which have endeared them to millions of people in their country and throughout the world; the TV show chronicling their adventures has some 200 million weekly viewers in India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh alone.

The siblings participate in the Bhatts' traditional activities during the day, then join them on stage for a community morality play that night.  After a two-days' journey, which places them within sight of K2 (the world's second-tallest mountain) and the Khyber Pass, the siblings pick local "neutralized" poppy flowers.  They do not contain the seeds from which opium are made; therefore, they contain all of the beauty but none of the danger.

As promised, the music festival poster

Last week, I spent about an hour creating a poster for a mythical musical festival.  I included Buddy Wayne and all his musical colleagues at Little Boy Records, the label I founded for him some years ago.

I could not save the InDesign file as a JPEG, so I had to create a package within InDesign that included a PDF, open the PDF, and finally shrink it down to a size for which I could see all of it on my computer screen.  After that, I used Snipping Tool to make it a JPEG file.

Now, some of the type may not be readable, so those are the captions:

• First line below "also featuring": Brittany Spears, Bubba Brister, Blinky Blink, betaBOOZEbrain, Melanie MacMelville
• Second line below "also featuring": Kimberly Shawnelle "ButtaFly" Wimberly, Bellamy Wood, LaRayne McLamb, O'Neale Timberlake, Barefoot Boys
• Below that: "Also with comedy from Barney Laughinghouse and a lip-rock performance from The Honey Bees (some of Miss Hambone's friends and distant relatives)"
• The next three lines are the date (July 15, 2017), the location (Fort Bragg), and the fictitious contact website.

Fort Bragg is a huge U.S. Army base just about 35 miles from the Barefoot home; both are in North Carolina.  After Christ returns to Earth - and of course ends all war on this planet - the military base will probably become recreational and residential space; among the new uses would be for large-scale outdoor events like musical festivals.  In 2016, the Miami Marlins beat the Atlanta Braves in a regular-season Major League Baseball game there, the first any major American-based sport had ever conducted on an active military base.

Checking in for the first time in 2017

I know some of you want to know why I have not posted so far this year.  Well, the short answer is that I have been bouncing back and forth between several personal projects:

• I completed the episode summaries of Brandy and Bunky: R.O.A.M., for which the first episode is posted in detail here.  After leaving Jamaica, they moved on to Ireland, Italy, the Congo River, Kashmir, Thailand, South Korea, Australia, and Mexico before returning to the U.S.  In all, they were on the road for 62 days as they visited some of the places and people that will be most affected by the New Earth that would be ushered in by Jesus Christ.
• I put together in my head the first episodes of season 6 of Gone Barefoot (or is it season 11? Even I'm not sure).  The least you need to know is that, with Brandy and Bunky touring the world and Miss Hambone has starting a six-month stay in Alaska to be with her boyfriend, a real-life person named Gabe Brown (who's on the Discovery series Alaskan Bush People), the show now follows some distant relatives of the remaining cast.  Among other things: Blake competes in the javelin throw of the U.S. Games, Randy races vintage race cars at a local track, and "Bear," a U.S. Army veteran, runs a discussion group of veterans from the American Civil War to the future Armageddon prophesied in the Book of Revelation.  But I haven't forgotten about Buddy Wayne: He has a statue put up in his honor at the Singing Grove in Benson, NC.  It shows him running with a checkered flag while a guitar is propped over his shoulder.
• BMN Superfan Junior has begun with 10 contestants, five of each gender.  It would have started on Jan. 4 with host Matt Rogers and judges Mikel de Vries and Brooke Liptrap.  Last week's highlight was a series of paintball matches inspired by Bryson's love of all things Western.  Duos battled in a "Western ghost town" with the members of the winning male and female teams battling for the individual wins.
• Finally, I have come back to InDesign.  I am considering another entire book - this one depicting New Year's Eve celebrations around the world, specifically tying in to Jesus' impending return - and plan to create a music festival poster with Little Boy Records singers and rappers.  The festival will take place at a post-millennial Fort Bragg, also in North Carolina.

Robertson clan helps me with "big picture"

On occasion, I have hinted at a "friendship" between the real Robertsons of West Monroe, LA and the fake Barefoots of Meadow, NC.  With the photo manipulation you are about to see, this relationship has been taken to a whole new level.

I have created a personal InDesign file which shows a "family reunion" which would have occurred after the return of Jesus Christ (but which I dated 2015, when this obviously did not happen).  Adobe allows me to publish it online, but my DSL connection, unfortunately, will not allow it.  So I have excerpted Buddy Wayne's welcome letter to the gathering, which is based on the biography of a real person named Miles Vinson Barefoot, who everyone called "Pink":

Other than God, family is the most important element of an individual’s life. Celebrating one’s ancestry can educate, motivate, and inspire current and future generations.
The Barefoot family motto is, “What was before, will one day be again.” In other words, no matter how much things change in the outside world, we have developed a system of core values that will always endure.
This event is the most tangible symbol of the love we have for one another. And there is no better place for it than on the land first settled by Miles Barefoot and his family, then passed down to his son “Pink” nearly 200 years ago. Over time, it became the place that he and so many others of his clan were buried.
Today, with Jesus Christ having returned to Earth and making all of us immortal celebrants of eternal life, Pink is back to welcome all of his descendants to his spot of destiny in Meadow township, North Carolina, U.S.A.
Enjoy all the days’ activities, and more importantly, enjoy each other’s company at this glorious reunion event!

I then published 10 sections of photographs and reports, representing each of the descent lines I imagined from them.  One of them is the John Noah clan, begotten from who would have been one of Pink's grandsons.  And along with that comes this photo, with captions for everyone pictured:

For this, I started by placing the Barefoots' heads on the Robertson's bodies - all 84 of them!  The original photo was taken in January 2014, at a get-together organized at the request of Mia Robertson, the daughter of Jase and Missy Robertson.  Then 11 years old, Mia was about to undergo her third surgery to correct the cleft lip and palate that she was born with.  The reunion, which included a special guest appearance by professional wrestler "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, was filmed for Duck Dynasty and shown on Mar. 26, 2014.  Ideally, my version would have had the Barefoots wearing more comfortable clothes for a summer day, but I found that to be too much work to try to match the entire body profiles.

In addition, four more people - including Brandy and her dad, Daniel - were dropped into the montage to allow them to pose together, and a few others were added to fill in blank spots.

Not only is this a large-scale view of the immediate and distant relatives that Buddy Wayne has, it's also - if inadvertent - a fitting tribute to the Robertsons, as Duck Dynasty is in its last season on A&E; the final show will air in January 2017.