My characters go to school; UWF results

I haven't posted in exactly two weeks, so appropriately I have combined two posts into one.

The first part is that I have integrated my characters as part of classroom assignments at ABC Adult School in both classes I attend. In the Photoshop I class (10 a.m.-11:50 a.m.), I am creating a "concert poster" with Buddy, Blondie, Brittany Spears, and Bubba Brister performing at Brian Warner Park on a fall day with the colorful leaves as a backdrop. (I chose Brian Warner's name because it is the given name of punk rock star Marilyn Manson.) The Photoshop assignment is due at the end of class on April 1. In the Illustrator class (12:20 p.m.-2:10 p.m.), I am creating an artwork in which Barefoot has a bluebird on his shoulder, symbolic of the title of his hit song. That task has already been completed, and I am thinking of a second project which could have a similar theme.


The other subject is the Ultimate Wrestling Federation card I wrote about in Chapter 3. Strangely, I was inspired by the infomercial that pitched both Santo Gold jewelry and a B-grade picture called Blood Circus. (This page has all the details.) That got me to thinking that I haven't given away all the results yet. So, as Jim Lange said decades ago, herrrrre they are:

• The Hillbilly Kid pinned Bobby James. Kid was played by all-league tight end Ricky Biffle, who was making his wrestling debut
  
• Chill Town (C.J. Brookshire and Bryan McFalls, dressed as reality TV stars Will Kirby and Mike Malin, respectively) defeated jobbers R.D. Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez in tag-team action
• "The Real" Biggie Smalls took the UWF Television Title away from the Dead Men Wrestling clique by pinning Danny Boy (based on Davey Boy Smith, but with an Irish accent)
  
• Barbie Blank (WWE's Kelly Kelly) beat Big Rhonda of DMW to win the women's championship
• DMW member Badd Boy Brady Boone, Jr. pinned Super Black Ninja to defend the hardcore title. The final blow came when Boone attacked Ninja with the handle of the scythe provided by the ringleader The Ripper.)
  
• DMW member Squashing Leamy beats Crusher Bennett. After the match, Bennett threatened former manager Ashley Mae Basher until "The Real" Biggie Smalls entered the ring to save her.
• The New Blade Runners, Brick and Flash, won the four-way international table ladders and chairs match as representatives of the U.S. They beat "Owen Hart" and "Brian Pillman" (Canada), Tanaka and Ito (Japan), and El Rana and El Vaquero (Mexico).
• Big defended his UWF heavyweight championship when he pinned One Man Gang. The pin move came from a head scissor move after Big had plunged from the top of the video lighting stand 45 feet above the ring.
  

Melanie MacMelville "interview"

My series of "interviews" with Idealian characters continues with its resident bubble-gum pop singer, Melanie Elaine MacMelville. She has a lyrical name and a girl-next-door look. Her music is a blend of pop, rock, and Christian music that all ages can enjoy. Once again, Magdalena Babblejack asks the questions.

MB: Mel, unlike most of the other music artists here, you are not from the Southeast United States. Rather, you hail from Long Island, New York. Does that make you feel awkward?
MM: Not at all. What is important to me is that my music matches the values and beliefs of all of the other singers, and that matter all the other entertainers. I stand for breezy, catchy tunes with an underlying message.

MB: When did you first dream of a musical career?
MM: I first sang when I was five years old. From that point on, I listened intently to every song on the radio and hoped to be one of them someday.

MB: When were your first performances?
MM: When I was in high school, I sang at shopping malls and coffeehouses on Long Island. Then at age 16, I jumped on the Long Island Expressway, stopped at the Grand Central Terminal [in New York City] and walked all the way to Times Square. That's how much I wanted so badly to have a career in music. I sang on the sidewalk. And yes, I had my parents' blessing.(LOL)

MB: How did Little Boy Records discover you?
MM: Brandon McLamb [Buddy Wayne Barefoot's publicist] attended a Mets baseball game and heard me sing "The Star Spangled Banner." He absolutely loved it! He went to the press box and arranged for a meeting face-to-face. Buddy heard that song and some demos and he signed me. That was before I "died" and entered Idealia. Once that happened, the contracts were transferred over.

MB: Talk about some of your songs.
MM: "I'm Breezin'" sounds like a standard-issue pop song, but in the end it is about how to stay grounded and stable in a world that is full of temptation. "I Will Not Yield" is similar, but it has a slower pace and a more overt Christian message. "Good-Natured Barb" is about a day I spent with my mother, who is also my best friend. Her name is Barbara.

MB: Like so many other singers, you have also dabbled in acting. Tell me about that.
MM: On OurNetwork on Thursday nights, I have a show, a sitcom, called The New Black. On it, I play Jennifer Black, a fashion executive who dreams of a better and less busy life and will do anything to get it. My father William is a retired executive at a tea company, so this is a role that I can identify with.

MB: What does your future hold?
MM: I have a movie and album out called Hollaback Girl. I heard Gwen Stefani say that she "ain't no hollaback girl," so this is my response. I love to be someone who talks to people and "holler back" at them.

MB: Thank you, Melanie, for your time.
MM: You're welcome as always.

Hey, Idol: Here's someone better than Stern

This week, American Idol wrapped up its first week of semifinal performances and four singers have been eliminated.

But two topics of conversation have dominated the show: its ratings are in decline (trailing the Winter Olympics for the first time), and Howard Stern has shown interest in becoming a judge. The show is seeking to replace the iconic Simon Cowell, who is leaving after this season.

Yes, Howard Stern. The "King of All Media" and the source of annoying prank phone calls for all occasions, whether it's a natural disaster or simply the retirement of an ex-pro football player.

I firmly believe that the inclusion of Stern will mean the end of Idol. He will be rejected by the public because he knows little about the music scene and is too controversial.

I have a better idea for the new judge on Idol.

He is one of the most famous recording artists in history. He once had a song that was number one for a record 18 weeks. Due to his parallel career as a pro athlete, he is one of the famous personalities in American history. In addition, he started his own record company with a stable of artists that have turned off hit after hit. Whatever projects he has been involved in have seen a surge in public interest. Finally, he can be blunt and honest when he has to be, an American version of Cowell.

If you haven't already guessed, it's Buddy Wayne Barefoot.

Too bad Fox and FremantleMedia can't hire him.



For that reason, I nominate either Ace Young (who looks a bit like Barefoot) or Matt Rogers for the vacant spot. Both have been on Idol before and would provide some good analysis.

Anyone but Howard Stern. Anyone.

New calendar, Super Bowl prediction

I have created a calendar with the 12 singing stars I created and nurtured in my very first post. It is being published through Lulu.com, the same place as the book that started it all.

Right now, it is not available for sale, but if it does happen, here's where to buy it.

As for the Super Bowl, I will quote what I wrote to an online forum:

"Let me just say that Mardi Gras will start early and won't end anytime soon.

Saints 27, Colts 17"

600 Racing changes its name

Speedway Motorsports, owners of 600 Racing, has changed the name of its Legends car unit to U.S. Legend Cars International. The change took place sometime late in 2009. Speed is now airing TV commercials with the U.S. Legend Cars name with 2009 Sprint Cup Rookie of the Year Joey Logano, as well as fellow Sprint Cup drivers Reed Sorenson and David Ragan.

Of course, Buddy Wayne Barefoot would be the most famous name of all from the Legends car program. He "raced" in similar cars overseas in the 1990s, and of course the big race at the end of The Buddy Wayne Chronicles was in an oversized version of the 600 Racing cars, scaled up to compete on a bigger, more banked racetrack.

For more information on U.S. Legend Cars International, visit http://www.uslegendcars.com.

Changes to bracket, support for quake victims

As someone who lives in southern California, I respect the damage that earthquakes can do. But even knowing that, what happened in Haiti on Tuesday was beyond horrible. The death toll has been estimated at 50,000. In addition, the already-fragile infrastructure of the country is nearing collapse as rescue workers race against time.

This blog joins many others in supporting the efforts of the American Red Cross. There are three ways to do it:
*By phone at 1-800-733-2767
*Online at http://www.redcross.org
*Via text: "HAITI" to 90999 ($10 charge to cell phone account)


Speaking of Haiti, someone who would be familiar with the territory is a Louisiana boy named Beaulieu Barrilleaux. He is a pirate who makes Jack Sparrow look like a weakling, and his ways would be legendary all over the Gulf Coast and Caribbean. It would be easy for him to find some adventures in Port-au-Prince and other such towns.

Unfortunately, when I made the Tournament of Characters, I left him off the list of 32 contestants, and looking back that was a mistake. In fact, I am making several changes in the field from the one I composed this past summer.

Barrilleaux replaces Lulabettie Littlebridge in the 14th of the 16 first-round matches. That means he loses to Rumpelstiltskin Ritterblatt in round one. Littlebridge now loses to Althea McBiddlewhiskers in the same round, while Elizabeth Hildenbreath is no longer entered.

But the biggest change is that Melanie MacMelville now advances to round two over Bobby "Hootie" Pittman, who replaces Brett Bartlett. Pittman is the "real Hootie" of Hootie and the Blowfish, now a beach music band. Unfortunately, I didn't think of him when the original tourney was being conducted. MacMelville goes on to lose to Buddy Wayne Barefoot in the second round. Meanwhile, Bobbington Hogg, a winner in round one over Mudd Bunch Sidebottom, now loses to Brian Patrick Ryan McHooligan in round two.

Annual calendar of events

Here is a rough listing of annual events and milestones of Idealian life. Dates in parentheses are in 2010 if necessary.

JANUARY

January 1: New Year's Day

FEBRUARY

Mid-February: African Life Festival

To coincide with Black History Month in the U.S., there are a number of special events including a "battle of the bands," a fraternity step show, and a gospel music concert.

MARCH

March 14: Buddy Wayne Barefoot's birthday

This is marked by music, storytelling, and other events.

March 21: Robin's Day

Named for the bird that is the symbol of the coming of spring, it is intended to celebrate the bounty of nature.

Last Sunday in March: Easter

This holiday is on a more standardized date than is celebrated in the real world, which can take place between March 21 and April 20.

MAY

Third Monday in May (May 19): Heroes' Day

This honors Barefoot, Ritterblatt, McHooligan, Bryant, and others who made it possible for Idealians to celebrate their lives.

JUNE

First two weekends: Film Festival

The latest movies from local filmmakers are all released at this event that simulates all the Hollywood buzz.

Fridays starting on or about June 21: Concerts in the Park

Bass-Timberlake Park hosts a series of concerts and readings. All the local favorites, such as Barefoot, Blondie, the Spears Family Band, and Hootie & the Blowfish, have performed in this series.

JULY

July 4: Heritage Cup

This is the race of vintage automobiles that was the site of the most unforgettable event of Buddy Wayne's life.

SEPTEMBER

Ten days from first Friday to second Sunday: Blue Ribbon Days

Bass-Timberlake stages a replica of an American country fair, including food contests, rides, and special shows.

OCTOBER

October 31: Death's Holiday

This event, commemorating the moment that Heaven was realized and when sickness and death was eradicated, substitutes for Halloween.

NOVEMBER

Fourth Thursday (Nov. 25): Thanksgiving

DECEMBER
December 25: Christmas Day