Buddy blabs away

Things have been too quiet lately in the world of my characters, so I approached Buddy Wayne Barefoot earlier this week and spoke to him on some of the hottest topics of the day.

Health care in the United States: It's about time something happened. We have seen all the other industrialized countries in the world start some kind of health-care system that protects all of its citizens. I cannot believe that no Republican - not one of them - supported the new health-care system, even though there is no "single payer" option as there is in the other nations. Even an executive order banning the use of federal funds for abortion was not good enough for them. You have a top-notch system of care in Congress, why not share that with the public? That's what happens when you believe that death panels will soon kill Grandma.

The right wing gets violent: This is why the Tea Party movement has lost me. A few people have spoiled it for everyone through racial slurs, bricks thrown through windows, and drawings of President Barack Obama as if he lived in the jungle. No matter what you think, he is our president and we all must respect him. And the talk-show hosts are horrible: Rush Limbaugh has slid into irrevelance and Glenn Beck is clearly paranoid. (Unfortunately, Keith Olbermann is no better on the left. Yes, the Iraq war has been questionable at best, but George W. Bush is not the Antichrist, either.)

Possible expansion of the NCAA men's basketball tournament to 96 teams: No! This cheapens the tournament and invites more mediocre teams to the postseason. It also will not save the jobs of head coaches, as some has suggested. The only reason this would happen is so that the NCAA can tear up the current TV contract - with three years left - and replace it with a new pact and receive more money. That's sad.

Simon Cowell to leave American Idol: The show won't be the same without him. I wish him good luck on the American version of The X-Factor, which will be on Fox beginning in the fall of next year. Thankfully, the Howard Stern-as-replacement rumors have gone away, otherwise I would never watch the show again. One of my fans asked me if I were interested in replacing Simon on the judges' panel. I think I would be served better as a mentor for a single episode. My nature is better suited for helping performers instead of critiquing them. So, no, I don't want to be a judge.

That's it for now. I'll "talk" to him again soon, maybe when something big happens in Idealia. Until then, happy Easter.

My characters go to school; UWF results

I haven't posted in exactly two weeks, so appropriately I have combined two posts into one.

The first part is that I have integrated my characters as part of classroom assignments at ABC Adult School in both classes I attend. In the Photoshop I class (10 a.m.-11:50 a.m.), I am creating a "concert poster" with Buddy, Blondie, Brittany Spears, and Bubba Brister performing at Brian Warner Park on a fall day with the colorful leaves as a backdrop. (I chose Brian Warner's name because it is the given name of punk rock star Marilyn Manson.) The Photoshop assignment is due at the end of class on April 1. In the Illustrator class (12:20 p.m.-2:10 p.m.), I am creating an artwork in which Barefoot has a bluebird on his shoulder, symbolic of the title of his hit song. That task has already been completed, and I am thinking of a second project which could have a similar theme.


The other subject is the Ultimate Wrestling Federation card I wrote about in Chapter 3. Strangely, I was inspired by the infomercial that pitched both Santo Gold jewelry and a B-grade picture called Blood Circus. (This page has all the details.) That got me to thinking that I haven't given away all the results yet. So, as Jim Lange said decades ago, herrrrre they are:

• The Hillbilly Kid pinned Bobby James. Kid was played by all-league tight end Ricky Biffle, who was making his wrestling debut
  
• Chill Town (C.J. Brookshire and Bryan McFalls, dressed as reality TV stars Will Kirby and Mike Malin, respectively) defeated jobbers R.D. Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez in tag-team action
• "The Real" Biggie Smalls took the UWF Television Title away from the Dead Men Wrestling clique by pinning Danny Boy (based on Davey Boy Smith, but with an Irish accent)
  
• Barbie Blank (WWE's Kelly Kelly) beat Big Rhonda of DMW to win the women's championship
• DMW member Badd Boy Brady Boone, Jr. pinned Super Black Ninja to defend the hardcore title. The final blow came when Boone attacked Ninja with the handle of the scythe provided by the ringleader The Ripper.)
  
• DMW member Squashing Leamy beats Crusher Bennett. After the match, Bennett threatened former manager Ashley Mae Basher until "The Real" Biggie Smalls entered the ring to save her.
• The New Blade Runners, Brick and Flash, won the four-way international table ladders and chairs match as representatives of the U.S. They beat "Owen Hart" and "Brian Pillman" (Canada), Tanaka and Ito (Japan), and El Rana and El Vaquero (Mexico).
• Big defended his UWF heavyweight championship when he pinned One Man Gang. The pin move came from a head scissor move after Big had plunged from the top of the video lighting stand 45 feet above the ring.
  

Melanie MacMelville "interview"

My series of "interviews" with Idealian characters continues with its resident bubble-gum pop singer, Melanie Elaine MacMelville. She has a lyrical name and a girl-next-door look. Her music is a blend of pop, rock, and Christian music that all ages can enjoy. Once again, Magdalena Babblejack asks the questions.

MB: Mel, unlike most of the other music artists here, you are not from the Southeast United States. Rather, you hail from Long Island, New York. Does that make you feel awkward?
MM: Not at all. What is important to me is that my music matches the values and beliefs of all of the other singers, and that matter all the other entertainers. I stand for breezy, catchy tunes with an underlying message.

MB: When did you first dream of a musical career?
MM: I first sang when I was five years old. From that point on, I listened intently to every song on the radio and hoped to be one of them someday.

MB: When were your first performances?
MM: When I was in high school, I sang at shopping malls and coffeehouses on Long Island. Then at age 16, I jumped on the Long Island Expressway, stopped at the Grand Central Terminal [in New York City] and walked all the way to Times Square. That's how much I wanted so badly to have a career in music. I sang on the sidewalk. And yes, I had my parents' blessing.(LOL)

MB: How did Little Boy Records discover you?
MM: Brandon McLamb [Buddy Wayne Barefoot's publicist] attended a Mets baseball game and heard me sing "The Star Spangled Banner." He absolutely loved it! He went to the press box and arranged for a meeting face-to-face. Buddy heard that song and some demos and he signed me. That was before I "died" and entered Idealia. Once that happened, the contracts were transferred over.

MB: Talk about some of your songs.
MM: "I'm Breezin'" sounds like a standard-issue pop song, but in the end it is about how to stay grounded and stable in a world that is full of temptation. "I Will Not Yield" is similar, but it has a slower pace and a more overt Christian message. "Good-Natured Barb" is about a day I spent with my mother, who is also my best friend. Her name is Barbara.

MB: Like so many other singers, you have also dabbled in acting. Tell me about that.
MM: On OurNetwork on Thursday nights, I have a show, a sitcom, called The New Black. On it, I play Jennifer Black, a fashion executive who dreams of a better and less busy life and will do anything to get it. My father William is a retired executive at a tea company, so this is a role that I can identify with.

MB: What does your future hold?
MM: I have a movie and album out called Hollaback Girl. I heard Gwen Stefani say that she "ain't no hollaback girl," so this is my response. I love to be someone who talks to people and "holler back" at them.

MB: Thank you, Melanie, for your time.
MM: You're welcome as always.

Hey, Idol: Here's someone better than Stern

This week, American Idol wrapped up its first week of semifinal performances and four singers have been eliminated.

But two topics of conversation have dominated the show: its ratings are in decline (trailing the Winter Olympics for the first time), and Howard Stern has shown interest in becoming a judge. The show is seeking to replace the iconic Simon Cowell, who is leaving after this season.

Yes, Howard Stern. The "King of All Media" and the source of annoying prank phone calls for all occasions, whether it's a natural disaster or simply the retirement of an ex-pro football player.

I firmly believe that the inclusion of Stern will mean the end of Idol. He will be rejected by the public because he knows little about the music scene and is too controversial.

I have a better idea for the new judge on Idol.

He is one of the most famous recording artists in history. He once had a song that was number one for a record 18 weeks. Due to his parallel career as a pro athlete, he is one of the famous personalities in American history. In addition, he started his own record company with a stable of artists that have turned off hit after hit. Whatever projects he has been involved in have seen a surge in public interest. Finally, he can be blunt and honest when he has to be, an American version of Cowell.

If you haven't already guessed, it's Buddy Wayne Barefoot.

Too bad Fox and FremantleMedia can't hire him.



For that reason, I nominate either Ace Young (who looks a bit like Barefoot) or Matt Rogers for the vacant spot. Both have been on Idol before and would provide some good analysis.

Anyone but Howard Stern. Anyone.

New calendar, Super Bowl prediction

I have created a calendar with the 12 singing stars I created and nurtured in my very first post. It is being published through Lulu.com, the same place as the book that started it all.

Right now, it is not available for sale, but if it does happen, here's where to buy it.

As for the Super Bowl, I will quote what I wrote to an online forum:

"Let me just say that Mardi Gras will start early and won't end anytime soon.

Saints 27, Colts 17"

600 Racing changes its name

Speedway Motorsports, owners of 600 Racing, has changed the name of its Legends car unit to U.S. Legend Cars International. The change took place sometime late in 2009. Speed is now airing TV commercials with the U.S. Legend Cars name with 2009 Sprint Cup Rookie of the Year Joey Logano, as well as fellow Sprint Cup drivers Reed Sorenson and David Ragan.

Of course, Buddy Wayne Barefoot would be the most famous name of all from the Legends car program. He "raced" in similar cars overseas in the 1990s, and of course the big race at the end of The Buddy Wayne Chronicles was in an oversized version of the 600 Racing cars, scaled up to compete on a bigger, more banked racetrack.

For more information on U.S. Legend Cars International, visit http://www.uslegendcars.com.

Changes to bracket, support for quake victims

As someone who lives in southern California, I respect the damage that earthquakes can do. But even knowing that, what happened in Haiti on Tuesday was beyond horrible. The death toll has been estimated at 50,000. In addition, the already-fragile infrastructure of the country is nearing collapse as rescue workers race against time.

This blog joins many others in supporting the efforts of the American Red Cross. There are three ways to do it:
*By phone at 1-800-733-2767
*Online at http://www.redcross.org
*Via text: "HAITI" to 90999 ($10 charge to cell phone account)


Speaking of Haiti, someone who would be familiar with the territory is a Louisiana boy named Beaulieu Barrilleaux. He is a pirate who makes Jack Sparrow look like a weakling, and his ways would be legendary all over the Gulf Coast and Caribbean. It would be easy for him to find some adventures in Port-au-Prince and other such towns.

Unfortunately, when I made the Tournament of Characters, I left him off the list of 32 contestants, and looking back that was a mistake. In fact, I am making several changes in the field from the one I composed this past summer.

Barrilleaux replaces Lulabettie Littlebridge in the 14th of the 16 first-round matches. That means he loses to Rumpelstiltskin Ritterblatt in round one. Littlebridge now loses to Althea McBiddlewhiskers in the same round, while Elizabeth Hildenbreath is no longer entered.

But the biggest change is that Melanie MacMelville now advances to round two over Bobby "Hootie" Pittman, who replaces Brett Bartlett. Pittman is the "real Hootie" of Hootie and the Blowfish, now a beach music band. Unfortunately, I didn't think of him when the original tourney was being conducted. MacMelville goes on to lose to Buddy Wayne Barefoot in the second round. Meanwhile, Bobbington Hogg, a winner in round one over Mudd Bunch Sidebottom, now loses to Brian Patrick Ryan McHooligan in round two.