Hey, Idol: Here's someone better than Stern

This week, American Idol wrapped up its first week of semifinal performances and four singers have been eliminated.

But two topics of conversation have dominated the show: its ratings are in decline (trailing the Winter Olympics for the first time), and Howard Stern has shown interest in becoming a judge. The show is seeking to replace the iconic Simon Cowell, who is leaving after this season.

Yes, Howard Stern. The "King of All Media" and the source of annoying prank phone calls for all occasions, whether it's a natural disaster or simply the retirement of an ex-pro football player.

I firmly believe that the inclusion of Stern will mean the end of Idol. He will be rejected by the public because he knows little about the music scene and is too controversial.

I have a better idea for the new judge on Idol.

He is one of the most famous recording artists in history. He once had a song that was number one for a record 18 weeks. Due to his parallel career as a pro athlete, he is one of the famous personalities in American history. In addition, he started his own record company with a stable of artists that have turned off hit after hit. Whatever projects he has been involved in have seen a surge in public interest. Finally, he can be blunt and honest when he has to be, an American version of Cowell.

If you haven't already guessed, it's Buddy Wayne Barefoot.

Too bad Fox and FremantleMedia can't hire him.



For that reason, I nominate either Ace Young (who looks a bit like Barefoot) or Matt Rogers for the vacant spot. Both have been on Idol before and would provide some good analysis.

Anyone but Howard Stern. Anyone.

New calendar, Super Bowl prediction

I have created a calendar with the 12 singing stars I created and nurtured in my very first post. It is being published through Lulu.com, the same place as the book that started it all.

Right now, it is not available for sale, but if it does happen, here's where to buy it.

As for the Super Bowl, I will quote what I wrote to an online forum:

"Let me just say that Mardi Gras will start early and won't end anytime soon.

Saints 27, Colts 17"

600 Racing changes its name

Speedway Motorsports, owners of 600 Racing, has changed the name of its Legends car unit to U.S. Legend Cars International. The change took place sometime late in 2009. Speed is now airing TV commercials with the U.S. Legend Cars name with 2009 Sprint Cup Rookie of the Year Joey Logano, as well as fellow Sprint Cup drivers Reed Sorenson and David Ragan.

Of course, Buddy Wayne Barefoot would be the most famous name of all from the Legends car program. He "raced" in similar cars overseas in the 1990s, and of course the big race at the end of The Buddy Wayne Chronicles was in an oversized version of the 600 Racing cars, scaled up to compete on a bigger, more banked racetrack.

For more information on U.S. Legend Cars International, visit http://www.uslegendcars.com.

Changes to bracket, support for quake victims

As someone who lives in southern California, I respect the damage that earthquakes can do. But even knowing that, what happened in Haiti on Tuesday was beyond horrible. The death toll has been estimated at 50,000. In addition, the already-fragile infrastructure of the country is nearing collapse as rescue workers race against time.

This blog joins many others in supporting the efforts of the American Red Cross. There are three ways to do it:
*By phone at 1-800-733-2767
*Online at http://www.redcross.org
*Via text: "HAITI" to 90999 ($10 charge to cell phone account)


Speaking of Haiti, someone who would be familiar with the territory is a Louisiana boy named Beaulieu Barrilleaux. He is a pirate who makes Jack Sparrow look like a weakling, and his ways would be legendary all over the Gulf Coast and Caribbean. It would be easy for him to find some adventures in Port-au-Prince and other such towns.

Unfortunately, when I made the Tournament of Characters, I left him off the list of 32 contestants, and looking back that was a mistake. In fact, I am making several changes in the field from the one I composed this past summer.

Barrilleaux replaces Lulabettie Littlebridge in the 14th of the 16 first-round matches. That means he loses to Rumpelstiltskin Ritterblatt in round one. Littlebridge now loses to Althea McBiddlewhiskers in the same round, while Elizabeth Hildenbreath is no longer entered.

But the biggest change is that Melanie MacMelville now advances to round two over Bobby "Hootie" Pittman, who replaces Brett Bartlett. Pittman is the "real Hootie" of Hootie and the Blowfish, now a beach music band. Unfortunately, I didn't think of him when the original tourney was being conducted. MacMelville goes on to lose to Buddy Wayne Barefoot in the second round. Meanwhile, Bobbington Hogg, a winner in round one over Mudd Bunch Sidebottom, now loses to Brian Patrick Ryan McHooligan in round two.

Annual calendar of events

Here is a rough listing of annual events and milestones of Idealian life. Dates in parentheses are in 2010 if necessary.

JANUARY

January 1: New Year's Day

FEBRUARY

Mid-February: African Life Festival

To coincide with Black History Month in the U.S., there are a number of special events including a "battle of the bands," a fraternity step show, and a gospel music concert.

MARCH

March 14: Buddy Wayne Barefoot's birthday

This is marked by music, storytelling, and other events.

March 21: Robin's Day

Named for the bird that is the symbol of the coming of spring, it is intended to celebrate the bounty of nature.

Last Sunday in March: Easter

This holiday is on a more standardized date than is celebrated in the real world, which can take place between March 21 and April 20.

MAY

Third Monday in May (May 19): Heroes' Day

This honors Barefoot, Ritterblatt, McHooligan, Bryant, and others who made it possible for Idealians to celebrate their lives.

JUNE

First two weekends: Film Festival

The latest movies from local filmmakers are all released at this event that simulates all the Hollywood buzz.

Fridays starting on or about June 21: Concerts in the Park

Bass-Timberlake Park hosts a series of concerts and readings. All the local favorites, such as Barefoot, Blondie, the Spears Family Band, and Hootie & the Blowfish, have performed in this series.

JULY

July 4: Heritage Cup

This is the race of vintage automobiles that was the site of the most unforgettable event of Buddy Wayne's life.

SEPTEMBER

Ten days from first Friday to second Sunday: Blue Ribbon Days

Bass-Timberlake stages a replica of an American country fair, including food contests, rides, and special shows.

OCTOBER

October 31: Death's Holiday

This event, commemorating the moment that Heaven was realized and when sickness and death was eradicated, substitutes for Halloween.

NOVEMBER

Fourth Thursday (Nov. 25): Thanksgiving

DECEMBER
December 25: Christmas Day

Our "12 Days of Christmas"

On the occasion of the first Christmas of this blog, I have comprised a version of one of the all-time standards, and it's a simple one: "The 12 Days of Christmas."

All one has to do is to list a few favorite things and make them fit the song. In fact, I'll jump right to the end:

On the 12th day of Christmas, Althea gave to me:

• 12 vintage race cars
  
• 11 (musical) notes from Blondie
  
• 10 lovely porches
• 9 trees of plump fruit
  
• 8-second bull rides (Billy Bob)
  
• 7 bluegrass masters (Spears Family Band)
  
• 6 pounds of "pigmeat" (barbeque)
• 5 peanut butter pies
  
• 4 singing sirens (Barenaked Ladies)
  
• 3 barn dances
  
• 2 beautiful babes (Boogerberger twins)
  
• And a superhero hillbilly!

Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone!

Near-namesake war hero in flag flap

I rarely, if ever, give out news from real life, but I had to include this story once I saw it online. The subject's name is one letter off from my main character and I understand that the surnames have similar meaning.

Second Lieutenant Van T. Barfoot (U.S. Army retired), a World War II veteran and winner of the Congressional Medal of Honor, has been ordered by a homeowners' association in Virginia to stop flying the American flag over his house. This is an outrageous development and I encourage Barfoot to fight this every step of the way!

The article for which I became aware of the story is here. This also includes a link to the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, which also posted 2nd Lt. Barfoot's story and thousands of others.