'Aptronyms' square off in Idealia bracket

This is the continuation of the Idealian character tournament, based on the format of the book The Final Four of Everything edited by Mark Reiter and Richard Sandomir.

The next two matches comprise a "mini-regional" with four people with names appropriate to their occupation. Paul Dickson, another author, has coined the term "aptronym" to describe them.


Brightful Birdsong vs. Barney Laughinghouse
As one would guess, the former is a singer and the latter is a comedian. Birdsong is another one of the land's great singers. He, like Aretha Franklin and Sam Cooke, has a background as a gospel singer before crossing over to rhythm and blues and soul. A major difference is that many of his songs are a cappella (that's without music if you're not familiar). I am not aware of any other singer who regularly sings solos in that style; that's understandable as one can imagine how highly difficult that would be. Laughinghouse is the star of a situation comedy on prime-time television. Like the 1950s hit The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, the entire Laughinghouse family is the star: husband Barney, wife LaDonna, children Blake, Danielle, and Bonnie Jean, and hunting dog Buster. Also, the family's real-life experiences are the centerpiece of the show, which is done in an improvisational style. Barney leads in the criteria of fulfilling a need in the real world: today, there are no family-themed sitcoms on any of the four major broadcast networks in the United States. (Sorry, The Simpsons and Family Guy fans, cartoons do not count.) In contrast, they were prevalent 20 years or so ago. But by another measure, singers are more valuable than comedians: American Idol is going strong after eight seasons, while Last Comic Standing was canceled after four. The deciding factor in the end is the public image associated with each name: a birdsong is beautiful, while a laughing house would be weird. Winner: Birdsong

Magdalena Babblejack vs. Stormie Gayle Blizzard
If you worked for a news department and a resume came across your desk with the name "Stormie Gayle Blizzard," you'd hire her, right? I thought so. If the anchor chair became empty and someone named "Magdalena Babblejack" wanted the job, can she have it? The answer is, well, maybe. The name "Babblejack" implies gossiper more than serious newscaster, so Blizzard wins easily, right? Think again. If Babblejack were hired by a major network, and if she was able to combine serious journalism with the force of personality - maybe Walter Cronkite and Katie Couric mashed together - she may be the future of television news. Oh, by the way, "Maggie" is from England, where the news culture is very diverse and rich, compared to the U.S. Besides, anchors get the big money, not meteorologists. Winner: Babblejack

Happy anniversary, Buddy!

The miraculous triumph of Buddy Wayne Barefoot in the Heritage Cup vintage-car race took place on this day. The event is scheduled for the Fourth of July - America's Independence Day - to honor the significance of families and to coincide with when the highest number of family reunions are held.

I also want to correct a point in the book which relates to the race: On page 205, I reported on what happened during the red-flag delay due to a strange use of the sprinkler system. I wrote that Bunky Barefoot (Crabtree) kissed a woman, and I reported that it was neither Laura or Heather, the twins that he was "married" to. I meant that he kissed one of the two, but due to their similarities it was not clear which one.

To read the whole story, see chapters 12 and 14, as well as part of chapter 13.

Columnist takes my side on celebrity

When The Buddy Wayne Chronicles was created, the idea was to present a new American folk hero to the public. He is a response to the artificial culture of celebrity that is the center of not just the entertainment world, but the lives of so many people.

I have always believed that the real heroes are our parents, friends, and anyone else who have certain qualities or who have done significant things to enhance our lives. This could include rescuing people from burning buildings, casting aside villainous enemies, or simply creating things of beauty that last forever. In that sense, Buddy Wayne Barefoot is in the world of celebrities, but not of it.

Unfortunately, there are too many famous people who got there the wrong way. That is, they either seek the spotlight or they have qualities that some people in the media think are important. We can forever debate, in chicken or egg style, whether those in the tabloid press either create the demand or simply react to it. What is certain is that the definitions of celebrity and hero have been blurred.

And it's not just me saying and writing this. In reaction to the recent death of Michael Jackson, Herbert London of Human Events magazine wrote a story which expresses the same concern. Here is that story.

On the website comment page, I wrote this:

"...[T]hank you, Herbert, for saying something that has been on my mind for a long time. Oh, if I could only go back to a time when real heroes were recognized and given what they deserved, and when people had to earn the privilege of being famous.

I also think that the breakdown of the family has a lot to do with the cheapening of celebrity. After all, mommy and daddy are the first real heroes in anyone's lives. If our children can't look up to them...well, let me give you the expression (and it's probably a paraphrase): "If one doesn't stand up for something, one will fall for anything."